My father has been… lacking, as a parent for my entire life. Without going into detail, I’ve been in therapy for PTSD because of the way he treated me growing up. I would rather not speak to him at all, but my younger siblings still live with him, and my mom is very attached to him, so I suck it up every few months and visit home. My fiancé is aware of all this and fully supports my decision to not invite my father to the wedding. However, I’m worried about the repercussions of not inviting him. I’m nervous that my mother wouldn’t come (she once told me that she was his wife first and my mother second) and I worry that they wouldn’t allow my little sister to come to my wedding, as she’ll be only 17 at the time of the wedding. If I thought I could be happy at my wedding with him there, I’d invite him and spare myself the drama. However, the idea of letting him walk me down the aisle, or having a dance with me, or sharing in such a happy, special day at all, is enough to make me physically ill. I want to enjoy my wedding, but I’m unsure if I could handle the fallout of not inviting him. I would really appreciate any help about what to do in this situation.
TL;DR: my father makes me miserable, I want to exclude him from my wedding, but I’m concerned about the consequences, and could use some help.