I [25F] am becoming increasingly concerned about my dad’s [60M] behavior.

Hi, everyone. This is such a bizarre story that I don’t know exactly where to start.

Up until about three years ago, my father was an extremely successful lawyer making a six-figure salary. He was a well-respected member of the community and I had a great relationship with him. He inspired me to go to law school too.

Then, seemingly all of a sudden, it just stopped. Two years ago, my mom went to the doctor and her insurance was denied. When she called me dad’s company, they told her he hadn’t worked there for several months and that we had no insurance – all this time, he had been putting on a suit and just going *nowhere*, lying to my mom and siblings the entire time.

He has essentially burned through all of our family’s money. He has sold random possessions in order to get quick cash and worked a variety of odd jobs. He has probably called every single family member we have asking for money. I recently found out that he called my *eighteen* year-old sister to ask her to “spot him” for a week. She’s in college! He went to a loan shark at some point. Our home’s utilities are in a constant state of flux. The water and electricity have been shut off for stretches. Thankfully I don’t live there anymore, but I feel sorry for my little brother who does. The last time I was home, I snooped through some documents and found a notice of foreclosure. I don’t know what’s going to happen now.

For the past year, he’s been working as a part-time waiter at a casual restaurant. The thing is though, that he is very much in-demand for the job he is actually qualified for. He could set himself up with a job as a lawyer with a few phone calls – he just won’t do it for some reason.

His personality has completely changed as well. Before a few years ago, I don’t think I had ever once heard him raise his voice. Now he screams and throws a fit whenever anything goes slightly wrong. I tried to ask him about what’s going on a few weeks ago and he went on some crazy rant about it’s “his world and we’re all living in it.”

I don’t even remotely know how to go about approaching this. Does anyone have any advice?

tl;dr My dad’s personality and behavior have radically changed, and I need advice.

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8 thoughts on “I [25F] am becoming increasingly concerned about my dad’s [60M] behavior.

  1. dkb1713 March 13, 2018 / 10:40 pm

    Just a rough guess… Alzeihmers? A person leaving his profession, not knowing what to do… Maybe an acute case or selective… But I can’t say much. Now that you know, your family should have a talk.

  2. HatsAndTopcoats March 13, 2018 / 10:40 pm

    This sounds like a personality change caused by a medical issue, something neurological. My guess is he was fired for some kind of outburst. He really really needs to go to a doctor.

  3. starrysurprise March 13, 2018 / 10:40 pm

    Is there any chance he could be abusing any substances or addicted to gambling? The constantly hitting people up for money sounds really suspicious :c

  4. Saint_Blaise March 13, 2018 / 10:40 pm

    So many questions. Is he still barred? Was everything in the past as rosy as you believe? Were there warning signs? He might have a neurodegenerative condition. The best things you can do are to maintain your boundaries, support your siblings, and don’t become your father’s mother.

  5. Hmack1 March 13, 2018 / 10:40 pm

    This happened to my sister, took us months to realize there was a problem. Turned out she had a tumor growing in her brain, that affected her personality and decision making. You need to get him to a doctor.

  6. ugkcliff March 13, 2018 / 10:40 pm

    Might be a substance abuse situation, you need to have a sitdown talk with him

  7. exo__exo March 13, 2018 / 10:40 pm

    How hard have you snooped? It could be that he messed up professionally, and is being disbarred / dishonoured and has been trying to hide that from everyone who cares about him. That just leads to another mystery though of what he maybe did and why!

  8. fangbodang March 13, 2018 / 10:40 pm

    Substance abuse, psychological/mental illness, or neurological problem. Get him to a doctor asap for an evaluation.

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