My girlfriend and I will have been together for 2 years and 4 months by the end of the month. She’s the love of my life and my #1 best friend. We initially met through a mutual friend at a party and hit it off immediately because we have so much in common. I love her dearly, and I know she loves me too. However, things are much tougher than I expected.
Around 9 months ago, I learned from her in conversation that she enjoys looking at photos on a few different NSFW sub-reddits. This didn’t bother me, and, if anything, I thought it was hot because I sometimes liked to do the same. I asked her if she had ever posted on any of those sub-reddits, and she quickly assured me that she never had. I believed her.
About two weeks ago, my girlfriend and I were attending a hockey game together. She took the day off of work and we drove out to watch our Islanders play. By the end of the second period, we were getting the crap kicked out of us, so we distracted ourselves by redditing on her phone. We do this sorta thing all of the time, so when she eventually nodded off, I continued to use her phone.
After scrolling through Reddit for another ten minutes or so, curiosity got the best of me, and I made the mistake of looking at her post history. I wasn’t in search of anything really, but was just interested on a whim. My discovery made me nauseous.
I found that she had been posting photos of herself nude on many different NSFW sub-reddits for well over a year now. I also discovered several PMs between her and other redditers sending inappropriate messages back and forth. This hurt me badly, but what bothered me most was her lie from months ago.
I tried to hold this inside of me at the moment because I wanted it to digest before I said anything too rash. The game ended, and we travelled home. During our ride, she could tell something was off in my mental and kept asking me about it. Finally, when we arrived at home, I told her about what I had found, and the tears began to fall. She apologized and cried and begged me for my forgiveness. I can tell she really cares about me, regardless of her ability to casually lie and hide this from me.
I feel betrayed, even though I don’t know if I should. I don’t believe she would ever actually cheat on me, and I think this was just her way of having fun whenever she felt a little horny. She never literally cheated on me, even though it still feels like she did. I can’t believe that she’d ever do something like this in the first place, so I’m feeling pretty lost mentally.
We just started living together and we spend every night together, but I have spent the last three nights at my parents’ house to give myself some space and consider this situation fully. I’d like to forgive her, but I’m having trouble coming to terms with what she’s done. So many questions fester inside of me that I simply cannot answer. Am I overreacting? Is there any thing else she’s hiding? Do I need time apart from her? Am I capable of forgiving her? I need help, reddit.
TL;DR- My girlfriend lied to me about posting her nudes on reddit.