My wife and I have been married for a year, we dated for six. She has an extreme interest in plants and bugs. I think it’s kind of cool. She makes artificial biomes to keep her bugs in- trying to make them as accurate as possible- and keeps up a huge garden in our backyard. I love her and her passion, but lately, I just feel second rate. She spends so much time on her garden, and when I come out to help, I just get told to stand there. She says she doesn’t want me hurting her plants, as though they’re people. If I don’t like the bugs, I’m somehow irrational and they’re “not that bad.” Even the ones that sting and bite “aren’t that bad.” I feel sometimes like we’re never going to have kids, these are just going to be our babies. When I bring up kids, she says she has “other” priorities, and we leave it at that.
She spends hours on them. Sure, we go on dates and we love each other, but I’m convinced she loves those bugs and plants more. She baby talks them, coos over them and constantly says how much she loves them. My wife wants more tanks, and has her eye on a big trip to Asia or Africa to study some of the native fauna. I don’t really like to travel. Home is good enough for me. But she always wants to go see things- new plants, new bugs. I feel like I’m not good enough sometimes. How do I reconcile this? I don’t want to start a fight, but anytime I try to talk to her about it, we both get so up in arms. She says I don’t respect her, and I say she doesn’t respect me and we just yell.
TL;DR: I think my wife is more invested in her passions than me.