49 thoughts on “If aliens landed on Earth, what would sound the most ridiculous when explained?

  1. nicenicenice12 February 14, 2018 / 12:51 pm

    We wear smaller, secret pants under our regular pants

  2. ShinyMachamp February 14, 2018 / 12:51 pm

    Sorry we make Hollywood movies of you trying to attack us and we always win.

    Really sorry.

  3. DJlicouis February 14, 2018 / 12:51 pm

    the amount of porn parodies already made just a couple of days after they landed

  4. Statscollector February 14, 2018 / 12:51 pm

    Why Ross, the largest friend, does not simply eat the other five.

  5. PeeeCoffee February 14, 2018 / 12:51 pm

    Yeah we feed them, clean up their poop, follow them on “walks”, and spend tons of money on them for vet bills, food, grooming, outfits, toys, and beds.

    But they are our pets and are subservient to us.

  6. septimuscaecilius February 14, 2018 / 12:51 pm

    “Yeah, so… one year is about 365 days. We divide it into 12 months, which are 30 and 31 days long, except in July and August, and December and January, where there are two consecutive long months. And to correct the fact that years are actually a bit longer, there’s February, which is 28 days long, except every fouth year, when it’s 29 days, except every 100th year when it’s 28 days, except every 400th year then it’s 29 days, because we add a day… at the 24th.

    We divide that into 7-day periods, so every year starts with a different day than the previous one. Weeks start at Saturday, Sunday *or* Monday.

    A day is 24 hours, so 4pm = 16h. Hours are 60 minutes. Minutes are 60 seconds. Time intervals shorter than a second are divided by 10.

    Where I live, we count years from the birth of a guy who might have not existed, but even if he has, he was most probably born at another time actually.

    Computers measure time by counting seconds passed since 1970.”

  7. bustead February 14, 2018 / 12:51 pm

    We actually managed to stop ourselves from destroying Earth by building weapons that can be used to destroy Earth.

    The concept of MAD. Or mutually assured destruction

  8. vicorz2160 February 14, 2018 / 12:51 pm

    Lot if good answers. All I came up with was 2 girls 1 cup… Good luck explaining that shit.

  9. ersal February 14, 2018 / 12:51 pm

    Selena Gomez guest starred on Hannah Montana as pop star/rival Mikayla Skeech in three separate episodes. But she also was Alex Russo in Wizards of Waverly Place. We know that Wizards of Waverly Place and Hannah Montana take place in the same world because of the 2009 crossover special “Wizards on Deck with Hannah Montana”. Both characters can’t exist simultaneously unless Alex Russo created a pop star alter ego and used magic to never by recognized for it, yet this is never addressed.

  10. kyasurina February 14, 2018 / 12:51 pm

    I think Jenna Marbles said it best….

    In one of her videos where she gave herself tape-in human hair extensions, she asked Julien how weird it would be to explain to an alien that yes, we do cut off each others hair and wear it.

  11. lordoflotsofocelots February 14, 2018 / 12:51 pm

    There is an episode of Star Trek TNG where some Ferengi travelled through time and space and are stranded in the orbit of an unknown planet. “Well, the sensors say there is nuclear fission going on down there. There has only ever been one civilisation stupid enough to do that in their own atmosphere: This must be the earth of the 20th century.”

  12. mdicke3 February 14, 2018 / 12:51 pm

    “Well you see in order to convince Cersei Lannister…”

    “Who?”

    “Cersei, shes the the Queen of Westeros”

    “Is she the one with the dragons?”

    “No that’s Daenerys, Cersei is the one who was banging her brother, got it?”

    “Uh, sure”

    “Okay so in order to convince Cersei that the Night’s King was real and the army of the dead was coming Tyrion came up with a-”

    “Wait I thought Tyrion was killed on the toilet by that dwarf fellow”

    “No Tyrion is the dwarf, he killed his father Tywin. Tywin was the father of Cersei, Jaime, and Tyrion. Okay anyway-”

    “Wait why wouldn’t Tywin name Jamie something that starts with a Ty?”

    “Not important, moving on. So Tyrion came up with a plan that would send Jon and his gang up North, beyond the Wall, to capture a wight to convince Cersei to join their cause.”

    “Hold up, that’s ridiculous. Surely there had to be an easier way to convince her, and also wasn’t Cersei the one who blew up that church killing all of her enemies? Why would they trust her?”

    “Well you see-”

    “Also what if they were all killed North of the Wall? Then what?
    This is really stupid, why is this show popular?”

    “Well they’re based off of this great book series by G.R.R Martin and they decided to turn it into a show. It’s a 7 part epic series that is crazy popular.”

    “When did that Martin guy finish writing the books? I’d rather just read them then watch a dumb show”

    “Well he’s actually still working on them now, should be done any day now….”

    “This is dumb, humans are dumb. Are you ready for your anal probe?”

  13. TrainedITMonkey February 14, 2018 / 12:51 pm

    My immediate thought is from a post about trying to explain something to someone from the 1950 who time traveled to now:

    “I possess a device, in my pocket, that is capable of accessing the entirety of information known to man. I use it to look at pictures of cats and get in to arguments with strangers.”

  14. neadien February 14, 2018 / 12:51 pm

    Do you really think we could fucks with the aliens? Do you think they would be laughing blasting us? Or do you think it they be like damn earth go hard?

  15. esmejones February 14, 2018 / 12:51 pm

    Thong underwear. We have an entire industry built around preventing people from being able to tell that we’re wearing a socially expected layer of clothing – aka ‘panty lines.’

  16. GrandMasterBen February 14, 2018 / 12:51 pm

    Well yknow we were gonna go to space, but it was too much work.
    …until Russia also wanted to go to space. Then we had to go first.

  17. Seusstein February 14, 2018 / 12:51 pm

    These are cars, they take us where we need to go much faster than walking. We also launch them into space.

    Because they double as a spaceship?

    No… Just for fun.

  18. Feroc February 14, 2018 / 12:51 pm

    “Yes, you clean your clothes with it… and teens eat it, too.”

  19. CirrusVision20 February 14, 2018 / 12:51 pm

    Basically any of our holidays.

    Halloween: a bunch of little kids dress up in costumes and go from door to door chanting a short ritual in order to get free candy

    Christmas: we cut down a tree then put it in our home and hang random shit on it, and on christmas day there will be a random assortment of hidden items

  20. take5b February 14, 2018 / 12:51 pm

    Aliens: “Human, we see you have space-faring vehicles, rocket technology and nuclear power. Surely your planet is uniting its resources to achieve the same sort of space exploration we enjoy?”

    Me: “Um… no, we last set foot on our own moon 50 years ago. We’re more into division, mutual distrust, and at the moment pointing our nuclear tech at each other threateningly. But, we make entertainment products about the idea of space exploration and cool aliens like you, so there’s that.”

  21. lewisnwkc February 14, 2018 / 12:51 pm

    “No no no it’s fine honestly, we just… We just pollute our only atmosphere that we need to breath and chop down the the trees that make our only source of oxygen. Don’t look at me like that… It’s because we just prefer the money that we make right now. Honestly it’s fine”

  22. Dioksys February 14, 2018 / 12:51 pm

    Milk. Think about it.

    “Look at these cow titties. Just pull on em’ and boom, there’s milk.”

  23. thejohnfist February 14, 2018 / 12:51 pm

    Human: “… and that’s basically how our society works.”

    Alien: “Millions of you kill each other because dozens of you have differing ideas? That’s it, back to the ship. We’ll try Titan.”

  24. Raymaa February 14, 2018 / 12:51 pm

    That we have the technology to power the world with alternative energy, but continue to depend on using resources extracted from the planet.

  25. TheCarmelo February 14, 2018 / 12:51 pm

    We own pets. We are their masters.

    Yet we feed them, groom them, and clean up their shit.

  26. RogerSterlingsFling February 14, 2018 / 12:51 pm

    That most people are unable to communicate with each other due to no common language

  27. fat_doofus February 14, 2018 / 12:51 pm

    Yeah, it’s called jail. Yeah, we just stick people in there for long stretches of time. It’s like, when they do something mean or bad or whatever, we shove all those mean, violent people together in this one building.

    No, I mean, we’re not fixing them. It’s more that, like, if you’re afraid of being stuck living near aggressive assholes, this deters you from doing bad stuff, you know? Like, we sort of, uh, we sort of let them hurt each other in there. It’s a big cultural thing.

    But once they’re done spending a couple years doing that, we just sort of let them back out. Yeah, just like that. Except it’s also like a black mark on the person, right? So they have a way harder time forming normal relationships or holding down a job or getting housing or whatever. Because they were bad and stuff so we can’t trust them, right?

    No, yeah, you have a point, that *does* make them more likely to commit more crime in the future, but it’s just like… You know, it doesn’t really personally affect me I guess.

    Why, what do you guys do with criminals?

  28. madkeepz February 14, 2018 / 12:51 pm

    We’ve been murdering each other throughout history over who’s imaginary friend is the realest

  29. hufflepoofs February 14, 2018 / 12:51 pm

    Racism. “So this different colored human is superior to this other different colored human because reasons”.

  30. RQK1996 February 14, 2018 / 12:51 pm

    they wouldn’t land, they’ll likely follow something similar to the Star Trek prime directive of non-interference

  31. _YoSoyLechuga_ February 14, 2018 / 12:51 pm

    Why Kim kardashian is so popular.

    Joe rogan has a great bit about it.

  32. TooMad February 14, 2018 / 12:51 pm

    You can deep fry anything. Then we eat the obese aliens, deep fried.

  33. TheOrangeTickler February 14, 2018 / 12:51 pm

    That another person’s belief of what happens when you die can directly impact a relationship without actually knowing a person.

  34. PunchBeard February 14, 2018 / 12:51 pm

    Yeah seriously. Some of us hate each other because of the color of our skin. I know right? You’re absolutely right: everyone *does* have an anus to probe.

  35. scratchy_mcballsy February 14, 2018 / 12:51 pm

    If landing in the US: wait, we said take us to your *leader*. Who’s this guy?

  36. VonCornhole February 14, 2018 / 12:51 pm

    Yeah, we have to play like 1/3 of our annual income for a child to be born in a healthy environment

  37. Lowkeycrazybitch February 14, 2018 / 12:51 pm

    How humans live on same planet as whales, hippos, lizards, etc but have expect an alien species that looks similar to modern human structure but with large eyes and green skin

  38. mynamesyow19 February 14, 2018 / 12:51 pm

    That we get most of our energy from petro fuel millions of years old while fighting against renewables.

  39. Load9 February 14, 2018 / 12:51 pm

    Velcro fly wall.

  40. workingmansalt February 14, 2018 / 12:51 pm

    That some couples show their love by ejaculating or receiving ejaculate on their face

  41. yeerk_slayer February 14, 2018 / 12:51 pm

    I cannot understand how you humans only have 2 legs and no tail for balance but seldom fall over

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