If historical figures actually did roll in their graves, which grave would generate the most power if hooked up to a generator?

If historical figures actually did roll in their graves, which grave would generate the most power if hooked up to a generator?

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41 thoughts on “If historical figures actually did roll in their graves, which grave would generate the most power if hooked up to a generator?

  1. frleon22 February 13, 2018 / 6:23 pm

    The most common names on this thread seem to be Marx. Che. Hitler. Each of them misquoted and/or idolised by their worst enemies. There is some honour in that. But what about the bloke who fell prey to teenage edgelords:

    **Nietzsche.**

  2. Jherik February 13, 2018 / 6:23 pm

    first that comes to mind is Andrew Jackson’s face being printed on Money when he presides over the “war” against Banks

    EDIT Finally something to eclipse my Iceland comment. Thanks Reddit

  3. Ghostbuster_119 February 13, 2018 / 6:23 pm

    Sam Walton,

    Dude started Walmart as an American store with only items made in America.

    He’d probably dig a hole to the factories that make his product.

  4. ToysInTheAttik February 13, 2018 / 6:23 pm

    Walt Disney would throw an eternal dance party if he learned how much power his company has.

  5. Locke_Step February 13, 2018 / 6:23 pm

    Probably Che Guevara.

    “What. The Hell. Are you. Wearing?! A sweatshop-made shirt by a global multinational that funnels money into capitalist governmental control, featuring *my face?!*”

  6. RamsesThePigeon February 13, 2018 / 6:23 pm

    I’d have to go with Richard Dawkins.

    “I’m not dead! I’m not dead! Let me out of here! Aaaaaugh!”

  7. megacookie February 13, 2018 / 6:23 pm

    I imagine someone who choked to death swallowing magnets and was buried in a copper wire-wrapped coffin.

  8. Cheesus_Bacon_Crisp February 13, 2018 / 6:23 pm

    1) Put “Grave generator” on Karl Marx’s grave

    2) Acquire energy from his spinning

    3) Use energy to power business, factories, shopping malls, etc.

    4) Due to being literally used to power Capitalism, Karl will spin faster

    5) When he spins faster, he produces more energy, helping Capitalism even more, creating a positive feedback loop

    6) Achieve an exponentially growing infinite energy source

  9. Mo_Lester69 February 13, 2018 / 6:23 pm

    I wonder how Mao ze Dong would feel bc China is this strange hybrid with state led capitalism with billionaires but has risen to become the third Superpower

  10. Trigger93 February 13, 2018 / 6:23 pm

    Tesla, but only because he’d be into it.

  11. thebrowntown12 February 13, 2018 / 6:23 pm

    Kurt Cobain’s. The number of hot topic t-shirts and tumblr quotes attributed to him that he didn’t even actually say are probably making it hard for him to rest in peace.

  12. TRex_N_Truex February 13, 2018 / 6:23 pm

    Probably one of those guys that went over Niagara Falls in a barrel, especially one of the guys that were never found.

  13. pjabrony February 13, 2018 / 6:23 pm

    If Sir Isaac Newton knew that we were suggesting that a body at rest could spontaneously generate motion without being acted on by an external force, he’d start spinning in his grave.

  14. ax0r February 13, 2018 / 6:23 pm

    Edward Jenner, creator of the first vaccine (smallpox).
    Every time a kid gets measles, or mumps, or chicken pox, or rubella, or any of the dozens of other diseases that we were on the verge of eliminating because some dumbass thought they knew better than their doctor…

  15. tjblue February 13, 2018 / 6:23 pm

    Hitler. He would be horrified at the kind of societies Germany and Northern Europe have become.

  16. Datenegassie February 13, 2018 / 6:23 pm

    Erwin Schrödinger would both roll in his grave and lay still at the same time, until observed. IIRC, his famous cat was an example of how stupid the concept of superpositions is. Now everyone attributes the discovery of that part of quantum physics to him.

    Either that or he’s rolling in his grave because of this comment.

  17. Renegard February 13, 2018 / 6:23 pm

    Andrew Jackson would be spinning like a fucking tornado since his face is on the 20 dollar bill issued by a federal central bank.

  18. gardenvanilla February 13, 2018 / 6:23 pm

    Washington would be doing somersaults @ that 2 party system

  19. houinator February 13, 2018 / 6:23 pm

    George Washington is a pretty good candidate:

    > I have already intimated to you the danger of parties in the State, with particular reference to the founding of them on geographical discriminations. Let me now take a more comprehensive view, and warn you in the most solemn manner against the baneful effects of the spirit of party generally.

    > This spirit, unfortunately, is inseparable from our nature, having its root in the strongest passions of the human mind. It exists under different shapes in all governments, more or less stifled, controlled, or repressed; but, in those of the popular form, it is seen in its greatest rankness, and is truly their worst enemy.

    > The alternate domination of one faction over another, sharpened by the spirit of revenge, natural to party dissension, which in different ages and countries has perpetrated the most horrid enormities, is itself a frightful despotism. But this leads at length to a more formal and permanent despotism. The disorders and miseries which result gradually incline the minds of men to seek security and repose in the absolute power of an individual; and sooner or later the chief of some prevailing faction, more able or more fortunate than his competitors, turns this disposition to the purposes of his own elevation, on the ruins of public liberty.
    Without looking forward to an extremity of this kind (which nevertheless ought not to be entirely out of sight), the common and continual mischiefs of the spirit of party are sufficient to make it the interest and duty of a wise people to discourage and restrain it.

    > It serves always to distract the public councils and enfeeble the public administration. It agitates the community with ill-founded jealousies and false alarms, kindles the animosity of one part against another, foments occasionally riot and insurrection. It opens the door to foreign influence and corruption, which finds a facilitated access to the government itself through the channels of party passions. Thus the policy and the will of one country are subjected to the policy and will of another.

    http://avalon.law.yale.edu/18th_century/washing.asp

  20. dailyqt February 13, 2018 / 6:23 pm

    George Washington, for sure. He very explicitly didn’t want a two party system, and now it’s like a damn football game; it’s only about the labels, not the policies or morals.

  21. Son_of_Samson February 13, 2018 / 6:23 pm

    Karl Marx grave has an entry fee. you could power a city with how fast he must be rolling.

  22. nookienostradamus February 13, 2018 / 6:23 pm

    Charles Darwin. The guy started the ball rolling, but jeez…people still use “Darwinism” as a pejorative like he pioneered genome mapping that proves evolution, too. Every time someone says “I didn’t come from no monkey,” Chucky-boy takes another spin.

  23. jigla February 13, 2018 / 6:23 pm

    President Eisenhower and how much he warned against the the military industrial complex

  24. twilighttruth February 13, 2018 / 6:23 pm

    George Orwell. If he knew about the amount of surveillance and data collection in our society, he’d be throwing wheels of cheese at us and screaming, “I warned you!”

  25. ward_bond February 13, 2018 / 6:23 pm

    Martin Luther. He was so against the ritualistic legalism of the Catholic church. Now the Lutheran church is almost as full of rituals as the Catholic church.

  26. Shields32 February 13, 2018 / 6:23 pm

    Elizabeth Magie, inventor of The Landlord’s Game which would later be adapted into the board game we now know as Monopoly.

    Magie was a believer in an economic philosophy known as Georgism, which holds as one of it’s central tenets that private ownership and monopolization of land unavoidably leads to economic inequality.

    The Landlord’s Game was intended to demonstrate how concentration of land ownership into private hands only serves to enrich landlords and impoverish tenants and was supposed to inspire in the player a sense of unfairness.

    Ironically, the game is ostensibly so popular now because it appeals to the aspirational tendencies of players and gives them a taste of how fun it is to be the Robber Baron every now and then.

  27. JerkCircleton February 13, 2018 / 6:23 pm

    Michael Faraday. It was kinda his schtick.

  28. toomuchpork February 13, 2018 / 6:23 pm

    Tesla of course. He is the only one with the foresight to build a generator around his coffin.

  29. penny_can February 13, 2018 / 6:23 pm

    My racist grandpa, we rented his old house out to a black family. Debating whether to install a tachometer on his headstone.

  30. LuellaEnWhyte February 13, 2018 / 6:23 pm

    The Flat Earth Society would make Galileo spin enough to power the planet for quite some time.

  31. BeProudOfYourNation February 13, 2018 / 6:23 pm

    Bismarck, seeing his dreams shattered and country size smaller by the war would give him a stroke. Bonus point is that many/to all Germans living outside of Germany/Austria were expelled from their homes.

  32. DemonicMandrill February 13, 2018 / 6:23 pm

    Attaturk.

    Dude’s lifework is getting fucked in the ass by a some smug tyrant.

  33. Not_My_Emperor February 13, 2018 / 6:23 pm

    If you read George Washington’s farewell address, where he basically calls exactly what’s going to happen to the U.S. if no one stops it, he’d be rolling in his grave 24/7 seeing as he warned against ~~foreign intervention in elections~~ getting involved in foreign politics, the dangers of a polarizing political party system, and special interests in government.

    edit: remembered it wrong

  34. TLK5752 February 13, 2018 / 6:23 pm

    Martin Luther King. His (need I say historically important) views and opinions on matters from Race to society as a whole have been used as a political volleyball for both sides of the aisle. His words are often bent and used to justify things that couldn’t be further from what Dr. King would have wanted. A speech like ‘I Have a Dream’ is pretty straightforward, but it always astounds me how many people try to reinterpret it for their own gain or to make a point that couldn’t be more different than what he would have wanted.

  35. richard0copeland February 13, 2018 / 6:23 pm

    Probably Marx. he wanted to create a classless society instead his ideology was used to create the ultimate class struggle, the party vs everyone else.

    also, the idol of prominent Nazis, Friedrich Nietzsche. his philosophical works were “used” to cement Nazism in Germany, whilst he lay dying in bed and long afterward his Sister infused his works with the antisemitic vitriol its now know for. He’s considered a hero by people he hated.

    Edit: just to clarify Friedrich Nietzsche was a right winger through and thought. I’m not a fan of his work but he was no Nazi, he found anti-Semitism repugnant. To quote a letter to his sister “Your association with an anti-Semitic chief expresses a foreignness to my whole way of life which fills me ever again with ire or melancholy”. It’s a shame then that in his twilight years his works would be edited to give validity to the Nazi movement and to be considered by many Nazis even today as an essential pillar of the ideology. If anyone had a troubling afterlife it would be him.

  36. iamthenegan February 13, 2018 / 6:23 pm

    Andrew Jackson. That man was the original grumpy Clint Eastwood.

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