I have a very difficult relationship with my mother, she is not the kind of mom that expresses affection, kindness or understanding to me. I know this sounds like some teen complaining but I am dealing with an narcissist. My dad is out of the picture since 2015 so I have to endure her alone, and sometimes I have an emotional breakdown (I cry a lot).
I finished high school last year, and since I was little I knew that I wanted to go to one of the biggests art schools here in Brazil. The problem is that my mother was always saying that I will fail if I study art, that it does not make any money and I will be poor and die alone because she wont help me. I tried seeing other college courses but I only saw myself doing what I always wanted.
I lied to her, I said I was approved in web design (which I actually applied for and did not pass). My classes starts tomorrow and I can’t stop crying, I know she one day will find out and will call me by names and hit me. I don’t know what to do and I am so afraid.
**tldr**: I lied to my mom about going to web design in college, right now I am feeling so guilty and can’t stop crying