Me[27M] with [22F]+6 months, broke up and i’m not okay

Hi redditors, story is a tad bit long please bear with me..

I met a co-worker and we clicked pretty well, at first she was shy to talk, but I kept talking to her annoy her and everything is just for the lols, realise she’s still in uni and she has a boyfriend (nice guy) of 3 years relationship.. we talked and talked a lot, all this started last year June 2017, by end of July we got pretty closed and realise we click WAY TOO well.. we texted a lot, but haven’t video call or anything..

by beginning of August we started hugging each other (just hugging no relationship or anything, just feel that it’s quite nice to hug each other) i invited her out for dinner and so on, almost every night after work.. we started video calling almost every night it feels like a new relationship but we still haven’t confessed, obviously i won’t do it because i know she got a girlfriend..

by mid August, her last day of work, she kissed me and caught me in shock… we act as though nothing happened, the next day she confessed to me saying she loves me but I said you’ve got a bf already, and it’s wrong.. but she kept insisitng, a soft heart in my just say “let it slip and get on with it” so I said okay, and we went on a “relationship” if you want to say so.. things get very fluffy and we’re SO obsessed with each other..

she initiated a lot of stuff from kissing to touching and to sex, every stage I rejected because I felt it is wrong (I know it’s crazy coming from a guy) but i don’t work that way.. she got angry every stage, throw tantrum, shout and scream.. if things doesn’t got her way, she’ll argue.. I was like, okay fine.. let’s go on..

let’s fast forward things.. shit started to shake by early oct 2017 till jan 2018… we argue maybe 2-3 times a week and then it moves on to almost everyday… and the drastic ones are arguing 3-4 times A DAY!… yes it went too chronic… and whenever we argue, I can’t handle her tantrums/shout/scream/verbal abuse asking me to die or she’ll die this and that.. all our argument starts it’s because I told her it is WRONG to have this relationship.. I want to move out from it…

I tried to break it out 3-4 times but everytime I failed.. she will hunt me down to the very corner and question, reason, talk her way into my fucking soft heart to make me take back my words of breaking up… but I told her.. YOU GOT A BOYFRIEND and YOU SAID YOU COULDN’T BREAK UP WITH HIM… what am I suppose to do.. at one point she got physical and hit me (obviously I took it like a man).. whenever I was angry I get so mean to her but she as well call me names and stuff, I do occasionally, I was just rude because I couldn’t control myself…

so after late January, we had our last argument, she decided not to text me anymore or see me, I WAS SO RELIEVE.. but a few weeks later I tried to talk to her… she just gave me a cold shoulder.. she said she has moved on and deleted almost everything about me in her life.. obviously I was fucking sad (and happy at the same time)… I tried to talk to her but she just shut me off, she said I hurt her way too much… but she doesn’t or even feel a single guilt that she is cheating.. she kept saying it’s because I hurt her so much she decided to LEAVE and go back to her boyfriend.. what the hell?… she said she felt more warmth with her boyfriend but she loves me more.. so what the fuck does that even mean? she’s living her life right now as though nothing happened.. I don’t find it fair and I felt cheated..

So yeah, hi redditors, i’m torn/mentally tired/alone/feels like dying and I tried to NOT think of her and TRIED to move on but it’s still eating me up.. I’m WAAAAAY too caught up with her.. I NEED HELP… it feels as though I was the one who get dump instead..

**TL;DR** hooked up with a girl with boyfriend altho I said it’s not okay, things went from beautiful to AGONY, started calling each other names, got phsyically hit, tried to break up but didn’t work, at last she calls it… but now the backlash is on me, I’m TOTALLY hung up on it and I NEED HELP.. she feels so perfect but at the same time so psychotic..

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2 thoughts on “Me[27M] with [22F]+6 months, broke up and i’m not okay

  1. throwaway949310 March 13, 2018 / 9:08 pm

    Remove yourself from this shit show and walk away. The best thing you can do is go no contact and move on with your life and find a much healthier relationship. That was a terrible one you were in.

  2. jj-twatt March 13, 2018 / 9:08 pm

    Have you tried crying in a cold shower?

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