So my ex and I were dating for two and a half years. Everything was fine; we never fought. Sure, there were small things that bothered me from time to time, but they were things I would bring up immediately and he would work to fix them. Other than that, no problems. No fighting, no irreconcilable differences or incompatibility.
We had been doing long distance for a little over a year and everything was fine. The last time we saw each other was the last weekend in January, and then a week later, he called me and said he needed to break up with me.
As you can probably imagine I was pretty taken aback. Still am. I wasn’t given much of an explanation for this breakup while it was happening. We talked for about 45 minutes but I don’t remember much of it because I was just crying and in shock. I just remember him saying he had a great time when we were together the weekend before, but when we were apart he started having doubts about our relationship. He still loved me and cared about me but he started noticing other girls. He mentioned how he thought about the fact that his dad’s first marriage ended in divorce, and my mom’s first marriage ended in divorce. I guess that’s because he and I talked about getting married one day and now he’s trying to say that he doesn’t want to make that decision if he’s not positive about it? At least that’s how I interpreted what he said.
I texted him with some questions the next day since I had been up all night thinking about it and still didn’t get many more answers. I asked if he thought our relationship was holding him back and he needed time on his own. He said I wasn’t holding him back but he needed to work on himself. I asked if he thought maybe we weren’t right for each other and maybe we needed to spend time apart to see if that was true or not. He said maybe a little bit. So he barely answered my questions and just said “this is what’s best” and “this is the right thing to do for now”. When I asked why, he said he thought I cared more about him than he did about me.
So I guess my question is, has anyone else been in a similar situation? Is this a “grass is greener” type situation? I’m truly having trouble grasping why he thought this was for the best but am trying to gain closure within myself since I know it’s not going to come from him. We haven’t talked since that day after the breakup and I plan to keep it that way so I can continue to heal. I’ve deleted him off of all social media except Facebook, but he can’t see any of my posts and I’ve logged out so that I don’t look at his profile. If he needs to contact me he knows where to find me. I have been doing slightly better but of course healing isn’t linear, and today and last night have been especially difficult for me for some reason.
TL;DR: boyfriend of over two years broke up with me out of the blue, barely giving me any reasons other than “this is for the best” and “having doubts” and “I cared more about him than he did about me”, and I think he might have “grass is greener” syndrome.