To begin, we have *all* offered my sister childcare. We’ve pooled our money to get her a sitter, we’ve offered to stay home and watch her son. We have done everything in our power, and she throws a fit each time and says we’re just trying to isolate her baby. I get it, new baby rabies is a total thing, but she has no limits. Even her boyfriend will offer to stay home with their baby, and she’ll *insist* it’s “child abuse” to leave a young baby home without it’s mother. And it’s not like we force her to come, either. We’ll say we’ll miss her, and she’ll be all, “Oh no, I’m coming!”
I got my tiny rant out of the way. My sister had a baby 6 weeks ago with her boyfriend of a year. They met at college, and they both go to school nearby enough that I see them often. Recently, a couple of family members about my same age were in town, and we all wanted to go play laser tag, as is family tradition. The place we go is loud, it’s in a mega-arcade. There’s kids running around, screaming, lots of bright light and flashing light. My boyfriend has a 2 year old daughter, and I would *not* bring her there, and I don’t think I’d bring any child of mine there until they’re at least 3-4. It’s just so much stimulus to me. Also, there’s no where to put your kid. At least one person would have to stay out to hold the baby, and we articulated this very plainly to my overenthusiastic sister, under *no* false assumption we’d be watching her baby. We told her about how loud and bright it would be, how there would be no where to leave her son. My mom offered to watch the baby. We offered to pay for a sitter. And she insisted. Almost immediately, it was overwhelming her baby and she was complaining about how bad the noise would be for his ears. She sat outside in her car, and only came back in when we texted her that we were going to start playing. She demanded that one of us hold her baby while she played, and when none of us obliged, she got upset and stormed out.
We all got a text later on saying that we don’t appreciate “the struggle of motherhood” enough, and that none of us care about her or her son. I’ve been in my boyfriend’s daughter’s life since she was a few months old, and she calls me her Mama and I call her my daughter. I think I know the struggle. When she was 9 months old, we went to play laser tag when family was in town, and she got left with a sitter. I don’t find any excuse for my sister, honestly. I get the age gap between 6 weeks and 9 months, but it’s the same principle. That baby couldn’t handle it, but she brought him anyways and has the audacity to be mad at us about it. It’s been this way ever since she had her baby. She brings him everywhere. It’s just so frustrating to me. How do I casually tell her to stop bringing her baby places? We have other stuff planned this week, and if she brings her son, I’m going to flip my lid. I don’t think there’s a lot of places she can bring a baby that young to- we’re going to the movies, museums, going skiing. But we’re happy to hang out with him at home. We just don’t want him freezing his little butt off on the slopes. Even when we express this to her, she still just brings him. How can we get the point across without freezing her or her son out? We don’t want to be the asshole family members that make him feel unloved and unwanted by family. We just don’t want him being dragged along to places he doesn’t need to be taken to.
TL;DR: My sister keeps bringing her baby to everything we do, even to our family laser tag. It made her mad that he was upset and we didn’t want to watch him instead of playing.