My ex [f20] has manipulated a photo to make me look like a Nazi [21m]

Last month I had a really bad breakup with a girl I dated for a few months. Nothing bad actually happened we just grew apart, well I did. She thought everything was fine. She was in love with me and I wasn’t. I know it was really hard for her but she then became obsessed. I’d wake up to a hundred texts. I had to block her everywhere. She changed tactics when she couldn’t beg me anymore, and started getting her friends against me. She started one rumor I cheated (never did never would) and another I got drunk all the time and hit her (also both completely false.) She’s part of a high profile organization on campus with a lot of like minded people who readily believed these things. So she had a whole believing audience ready made.

Now she’s made a post on social media where she took a photo of some nazi group and replaced a guy’s face with mine. It looks real no obvious signs of photoshop. Because I have her blocked my friends saw and showed me. It’s going around among people at my school, spread by her and people in her campus organization. It’s on Facebook, Twitter, Whisper, and that’s only the ones I’ve seen. Some of the posts also reference her previous lies about me.

She did this I think yesterday. I’ve already gotten four messages accusing me of horrible things. Luckily my friend showed me the stuff before the messages started coming. One message said they would punch me if they saw me on campus. There are calls on social media for the university administration (? or Student Government? I’ve seen both) to investigate and “take action.” My friends advised me to lay low, ignore and not fuel the drama by responding even to deny and explain the history.

I’m honestly really scared as stupid as it sounds. This could ruin my life couldn’t it? You don’t need to sugarcoat anything I know this could become extreme. I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to even leave my room tomorrow.

Can I just get some practical first steps to going about daily life tomorrow as though there’s no angry Internet mob that believes I’m a Neo Nazi? If failing that, steps on how to fix that belief in the most non-escalating way?

Tl;dr: Bad breakup with girl who was really upset, now she seems to hate me and made a fake image depicting me at a Nazi gathering. I’ve gotten threatening messages and am scared this could wreck my future.

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39 thoughts on “My ex [f20] has manipulated a photo to make me look like a Nazi [21m]

  1. Doxaedra February 13, 2018 / 1:49 am

    You need to go directly to your University Police tomorrow (before class) and report her actions as well as the threatening message you received about being punched. Bring your laptop or phone to show them the doctored photo, the emails, etc. You may need to show them some of her text messages and file a restraining order through the university since she’s spreading false rumors, especially the one about you hitting her. (This may result in her being blocked from being anywhere within 100yards of you while on campus or, worse, her being kicked out of campus housing if both of you live on campus.)

    No matter what, do not lay low. You need to go on the offensive and bring all of the evidence you have to the university police’s attention. (If you don’t have a university police, visit student affairs or university counseling and they will point you in the right direction.) The last thing you want to do is wait it out until either she or another student formally brings it to the university’s attention. If you wait, you’ll be on the defensive and will need to respond to every rumor, doctored photo, etc. that she or another student brings up.

    Yes, this could ruin your college life which, in turn, could have a massive impact on your future. From what you’ve described, she sounds like she’s crazy enough to concoct more lies in order to harm you. The doctored photo may be the tip of the iceberg. You need to stop this before it gets even more out of hand.

  2. natha105 February 13, 2018 / 1:49 am


    You are going to need to consider suing her for slander and libel and you are going to need to get some advice about how best to approach this particular university’s bureaucracy to inoculate yourself from whatever it might do.

    However I would start from the perspective that the university is NOT going to be your friend in this story and you need to be managing your interactions with them through a lawyer.

    The good news is that I bet once this girl gets served with a lawsuit for hundreds of thousands of dollars in damages she agrees to some kind of settlement where she publicly admits to everyone she is a liar.

  3. xtentative February 13, 2018 / 1:49 am

    This actually sounds like you’d have a good chance in defamation proceedings against her. And I don’t say that easily. Get a defamation lawyer ASAP!

  4. seasonpasstoeattheas February 13, 2018 / 1:49 am

    Can you find out when and where that rally was?

    Maybe you can trace back your own steps through that day and prove it couldn’t have been you. Say if you were at work that day it would be really easy to prove she’s a lunatic.

  5. pizza-nova February 13, 2018 / 1:49 am

    Do you still have the texts she was sending you? Maybe you should go to someone at the University and report her before this gets any bigger so that rhey can shut it down before she stokes the fires anymore especially if she is trying to use the student government to “take action” against you. If this is associated with the Uni they will have some control over this group.

  6. historymaking101 February 13, 2018 / 1:49 am

    Image metadata will show it was tampered. No need to find the original photo.

  7. Altalternateacct February 13, 2018 / 1:49 am

    You need to go to an attorney who has handled defamation claims in the past. I never ever ever EVER say this because it’s almost never true; if you have financial damages then you have an excellent case for defamation. That attorney will send a cease and desist letter before taking legal action and that may cause her to stop.

  8. Daedalus871 February 13, 2018 / 1:49 am

    You want to start by saving everything.

    You then might want to pop over to /r/legaladvice as this could have serious implications for you (one guy said he would punch you if he saw you, that’s assault in the US. You should file a report with the police).

    I am no sure who, but you would also want to contact the university in some way (dean of students?) as she is making false claims that are leading to threats against you. Any half decent lawyer will smell the potential snowstorm, and advise the university to take immediate action.

  9. RealMadamePsychosis February 13, 2018 / 1:49 am

    You’ve been getting a lot of good advice here, but let me just say that when I was writing articles for the school paper, I would have LOVED to have someone like you come in and give me the scoop.

    Does your ex hold a position of power in her organization? If so, a student journalist could really help.

  10. LostSadConfused11 February 13, 2018 / 1:49 am

    The first thing you have to do is gather up evidence of her harassment. Screenshot the photo, threatening messages, any texts she sent you about wanting to get back to you, etc. Back them up, print them out, and put them in a folder. If you have mutual friends, ask them to make screenshots of any posts that she made about you on her profile and send those to you as well. As soon as the campus opens, go to the Dean’s office and ask to meet with him (you might need to make an appointment). This is serious harassment that can affect you both socially and academically, and you need to fight back.

    Next, go to campus police with the evidence and see about getting a restraining order against her. Make a report to start a paper trail. It’s also a good idea to arm yourself with a lawyer. If there is a law school on campus, they may offer legal services at a discounted rate. Finally, seek out a counselor on campus that you can talk to about this. You’re gonna need emotional support while you fight to contain this.

    It sounds like your ex is mentally ill, and likely has BPD. She can’t handle abandonment and is lashing out. To her, any attention is good attention. Don’t give her attention, except to slap her with a restraining order if possible. Any communication between you and her should go through a lawyer. Lock down your social media, get 2-step authentication on all your important accounts (including school login!), change passwords, and put her on a complete information diet. If you have mutual friends, make sure they tell her nothing about you, but screenshot any harassing posts to add to your file. Don’t engage the haters. If you feel unsafe on campus, ask for a campus police escort after dark, vary your route, and carry pepper spray (if it’s legal where you’re at).

    Good luck!

  11. vierolyn February 13, 2018 / 1:49 am

    Save all the evidence you have and lawyer up. This is not a joke. Don’t go to campus police (they’re useless), don’t lay low, don’t respond to the accusations.

  12. luro2 February 13, 2018 / 1:49 am

    I’m so sorry this has happened to you. You need to get a restraining order. Gather all of the harassing texts and emails and postings that you can find from her, the more the better. Go to the police to initiate a restraining order. If the police are not helpful then you can actually bypass them and request one from the Superior Court in your area. Just Google restraining order and your State’s name and there should be simple directions. It is simple as filling out a form paying a small fee and dropping it off at the court. Then you’ll get a hearing with a judge.

    About the photo it is actually extremely easy for anyone who works with graphics to tell if an image has been photoshopped or not. It will be extremely easy to prove that image is photoshopped when you get to that. You can Google about that topic too actually. I would suggest Googling the phrase “how photography experts spot a photoshopped image.” But you truly don’t need to be an expert to prove it.

    And of course besides that the easiest thing to do is to show the original image of YOU that she photoshopped the Nazi pic from, you don’t even need to find the original Nazi image.

    Edit: Please post the Nazi pic on Imgur with your face blocked out, and post the link here or send us a link to it by private message. Reddit will definitely find that original Nazi pic for you. I will definitely help if you link me to the photoshopped image, and I am extremely good at reverse image finding. I think that I by myself could find the image in 10 minutes and there are a lot of people on Reddit who are faster than me.

  13. ClericofTheNewSun February 13, 2018 / 1:49 am

    Damn she must be amazing at photoshop. Usually people can tell pretty easily when it’s a photoshop, specially something as obvious as face swapping.

  14. tiltedbaee February 13, 2018 / 1:49 am

    You need more than relationship advice. You need r/legaladvice

  15. SunMoonTruth February 13, 2018 / 1:49 am

    You do not “lie low”. You fight this harassment asap. She’s defaming you and inciting violence against you. Get this on record with the police and with the university administration.

    This could very well wreck your future if you stay quiet. Take action and fight to get this set straight and put a stop to the actions of this deranged woman.

  16. PM_ME_PUGS_IN_COATS February 13, 2018 / 1:49 am

    If you can find the original photo, it solves your whole problem and exposes this girl for what she’s done. Otherwise, you’ve got to talk to this girl and reason with her. This whole thing isn’t going to work out the way she wants it to, and if you can convince her of that, maybe she’ll take it down or even apologize. If you want help tracking down the original image, if you post it and censor your face, I’ll see what I can do.

  17. catsnlacquer February 13, 2018 / 1:49 am

    Do you still have any of the messages she’s sent begging you to still be with her? I’d make a public post that states something like “I have proof that she never wanted things to end and still wanted to be with me. Ask yourself that if I’m a cheating women beating nazi why was she so desperate to be with me? Do you really believe it? I hope my true friends can see through her lies and photoshopped attempt to destroy me, and I hope she can move on”. Or something. Don’t show the proof, but keep it in case you need it. I mean, there’s a chance this could make it worse, but things aren’t getting better as it is, are they? Also can you find the original photos that she manipulated? Both the one she took your face from, and the one she put it on?

  18. OhMyItsColdToday February 13, 2018 / 1:49 am

    Isn’t defamation a thing overseas? I’m sure in my country you can go to the police sue her pretty hard. Stuff like this is no joke.

  19. Thrownawayaccount69 February 13, 2018 / 1:49 am

    Report her to the University dean – not the police.

    Tell them you dont feel safe and want them to order her to not stay near you.

  20. wepwepwepwe February 13, 2018 / 1:49 am

    Talk to a lawyer specializing in defamation, libel, slander – stuff like that. They’ll have some good advice on what to do, and also they’ll probably be able to write a strongly worded letter on a law firm letterhead to really scare your ex. Defamation lawsuits are expensive, and I’m sure she’ll stop this nonsense if she is threatened with one.

  21. catlady_intraining February 13, 2018 / 1:49 am

    People are focused on disproving the Nazi photo- which you should do. But she has also accused you of domestic violence, yes? She won’t be able to prove that, but you won’t be able to disprove it either. If you can prove to the university that the Nazi thing is fake, they still might take action against you because of the domestic violence and CYA policy. You probably need to read through all the school policies pertaining to non-academic rules, how disputes and complaints are handled, legal services offered to the students, your rights as a student, etc. Also the laws in your state regarding restraining orders, defamation, domestic violence, etc. The university and the cops could be on your side- or not. Don’t assume. Honestly, consult a lawyer if you can.

    I don’t think you should address any of this on social media or discuss it publicly. That might complicate things further. In respect, laying low might be good advice- keep a low profile on social media and on campus/around town. Don’t talk to the girl or her friends. Don’t walk somewhere alone if you can avoid it. If someone tries to harass you about it, walk away and remain calm.

  22. Shaquintosh February 13, 2018 / 1:49 am

    Do you have or can you find the original photo? If she got it from the internet, it should be easy to find again.

    Seems like that would make it super clear to anybody concerned.

  23. kobillabong February 13, 2018 / 1:49 am

    You need to go to the University Police like yesterday. What she is doing is slanderous. I know it may seem dramatic but trust me, I went to the University Police my fresh,an year because an ex was sending me threatening texts and creepy videos of him in a chicken suit (I wish I was making that up). They didn’t laugh at me or say I was overreacting. They were super nice about everything, they paid him a visit, told me what my options were going forward and it stopped. You should also go to the campus counseling center or administration and get ahead of this. Let them know what’s going on and tell them you are afraid.

  24. boogi3woogie February 13, 2018 / 1:49 am

    If push comes to shove, you can’t hide evidence of an edited image. Easiest thing to do is find the original picture of the nazis and post it side by side to the edited pic.

    I would file a police report against your ex. Don’t talk to her. Use a lawyer as an intermediary.

  25. SolaireOfCaestora February 13, 2018 / 1:49 am

    You can’t lay low, bring all of this to the university YESTERDAY. This can easily ruin your life

  26. 1738_bestgirl February 13, 2018 / 1:49 am

    Collect all the evidence, go to a lawyer, go with lawyer to the police, then go to the university with the lawyer in that order.

  27. Xholica February 13, 2018 / 1:49 am

    When trying to reverse search the image, also try flipping it or a partial image search by dropping out the bit with you in.

  28. zhirzzh February 13, 2018 / 1:49 am

    Text her and offer to get back together with her if she retracts everything. Get her to admit what she did over text. Then take the messages to the university and the police and don’t get back together with her.

  29. ChadKensingtonsGooch February 13, 2018 / 1:49 am

    sue her for slander/libel and file for a restraining order and file a complaint of harassment with the university. Tell anyone that will listen she’s a crazy lying nutcase.

    Also make sure to use the words domestic violence (stalking and harassment are forms of DV) when filing your case with the university. It triggers some additional protections investigations and could result in her getting kicked out. You want to throw the real DV flag before she throws a false one and gets you kicked out.

  30. karakinn February 13, 2018 / 1:49 am

    Please go to your university. There is something they may be able to do. She should be forced to take it down and apologize. If she is in a high ranking organization on campus, they will pay attention. Be careful please, and good luck.

  31. nonphixion2017 February 13, 2018 / 1:49 am

    lets see that pic i swear its just to gauge how good her photoshop skills are xd. jokes aside good luck get a lawyer/restraining order etc like others have said

  32. Biggymax February 13, 2018 / 1:49 am

    What a joke of a world we live in where you can destroy someone’s reputation from a shittily photoshopped image showing they are a “WAAACIIST because everyone and their mom wants to virtue signal how great they are by witchhunting over “racists” without actually checking for real evidence.

    This is the reality of the PC nightmare world we’ve created. No ones safe.

  33. thatdboy February 13, 2018 / 1:49 am

    She done took it way too far. She could get herself in some deep shit for pulling this. You had better seek revenge buddy. This ainte a game now.

  34. nonphixion2017 February 13, 2018 / 1:49 am

    lets see that pic i swear its just to gauge how good her photoshop skills are xd. jokes aside good luck get a lawyer/restraining order etc like others have said

  35. Caamos1995 February 13, 2018 / 1:49 am

    Thats why you dont hook up with leftists OP, I hope this is a lesson

  36. Captain-Tac February 13, 2018 / 1:49 am

    Do. Lt trust anything campus related. Get a real lawyer and go to the real police for you own safty.

  37. goonboyflexin February 13, 2018 / 1:49 am

    Maybe talk to your ex’s parents about it

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