This is going to be long, but please bear with me.
Me and my fiance (I call him my husband because we consider ourselves married even if we haven’t gotten officially married yet.) Are having arguments every day.
Here is the deal.
He thinks I’m being lazy or something. I admit, sometimes he takes on the majority of feedings and diaper changes. I’m not going to lie. But my whole world just got turned upside down and it’s taking me more time to adjust than I’d thought.
To start, I had a vaginal delivery. I went into labor with a hemoglobin of 9.3, which is not good at all. To make things worse, I had the most traumatic birth experience I could have imagined. The story is in my post history, titled “an update”. the episiotomy that saved my baby that the doctor almost refused to do, the severe blood loss making me lose consciousness and need a blood transfusion, seeing my baby struggling and blue on top of my epidural not working. It was bad.
I had to be cut twice and tore in one spot, they didn’t tell me how many stitches I got, so that makes me think it was a lot. The blood was pouring so badly it seemed like they could barely see to stitch me back up.
Well, it’s been about 9 days and it still hurts. I was only prescribed ibuprofen but couldn’t get that due to losing my Medicaid card. I have been dealing with this with absolutely 0 pain management. I have pulled a stitch loose as well.
I’m still bleeding pretty heavily and am concerned because last night I passed a blood clot that was almost exactly the size of a gold ball, the size they said to look out for.
My fiance is mad because he feels he’s “doing more than be should” in his own words.
It hurts for me to sit down and walk and go to the bathroom. I’m obviously suffering from pretty bad post partum depression, I’ve spent more days crying than not.
I have insomnia and a newborn doesn’t help with That. He doesn’t understand because he falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow.
Yesterday, he slept until 1pm. I got up before 10 am and stayed up with the baby. Then later we layed down at about 6pm and he fell asleep while I layed there until 9:20 and had to take a benadryl to get any sleep. The baby started crying less than 20 minutes after I finally fell asleep, but of course I was the one who had to change and feed him, not the guy who’s gotten 6+ more hours of sleep than I have already, not counting the time it took before I could fall asleep the night before.
So when 10pm came around he got up and went to the store. He came back and watched the baby while I finally got some sleep. Only 2 hours, I got up at 12.
Guys he complained about having to watch the baby for the 2 or maybe 2 and a half hours while I was napping. I’m not joking. Then I was the only one who got up to change him and feed him the 4 times last night
As I was feeding and changing the baby while he slept, he was telling me I didn’t do shit.
I read the paperwork the hospital gave me about taking it easy and accepting help, but I can’t because he will bitch at me because he had to do the dishes and cook. I did the dishes several times yesterday and cleaned the entire bedroom and part of the living room, but I don’t do anything apparently.
Now he’s complaining that his stomach hurts, watch me have to do everything today only to get bitched at like all I do means nothing. I’m sorry his stomach hurts, but my vagina and my asshole feels like it’s getting stabbed from the inside and I don’t expect that to let up any time soon, especially with me overworking myself.
I’m more depressed than I’ve ever been in my life and he still insists on berating me and talking to me like a child, despite my pleas for him to stop.
I am only 19, he’s a little older. He’s already had a kid, which he abandoned by the way. I’ve never done this.
The other day I was having difficulty changing my son’s diaper and he basically called me stupid and told me it wasn’t that hard. Sure, it isn’t hard when you’ve already changed diapers of course. I don’t have that experience. He then went on to tell me he doesn’t trust me with the baby so he won’t be working. Wtf?
He threatened to leave me twice yesterday over this stuff, but he doesn’t know I’ve been contemplating leaving him. I want him to leave first. I want him to go ahead, after all that’s what he did to the mother of his last child.
I’m so tired of the back and forth and I think he knows it. He will talk down on me and leave me crying and then trick me into forgiving him with temporary love and affection. He will say he’s sorry and he loves me only to make me stay until he decides to hurt me again.
Fiance feels like he’s doing to much work because I’m recovering from a traumatic birth and can’t do much due to pain and depression. He berates me and threatens to leave me and just makes my postpartum depression even worse. He gets way more sleep than I do, but I’m the lazy one when I need a break from the house chores I’m not even supposed to be doing until I recover enough to be able to sit down without wanting to cry. I’ve already made one of my stitches loose overworking myself.