Sorry for such a long title (and an even longer post) but I just couldn’t think of a shorter way to say what’s happening. There’s a TL/DR at the bottom if you want to skip ahead.
First off, I’m adopted and have been since I was 5 years old. My biological mom, hasn’t cared for me as her child since I was less than a year old. However, I did grow up with her in my life and even though our relationship has always been very rocky, she’s always been around. She has two teenage boys (15 and 16) from a different man who is not in their lives due to severe domestic abuse.
She is morbidly obese, a hoarder (of pets and things), lives in grossness, and just doesn’t care for her body at all. She’s had bleeding ulcers on her skin, sores, and other things that just show she doesn’t care for herself. They almost had to amputate her lower leg at one point due to a skin infection.
Please understand, I love her. Not as my mom, but as a family member. I don’t want something bad to happen to her because of that.
However, about a year ago (I think that’s the right time frame) she was having heart problems and had to get a will in place. It came out that she was leaving her sons to me. Everyone, including me, protested this but she wouldn’t discuss it and she got better so I forgot about it.
I found out that she’s going to have to have surgery in a month and even though it’s a simple enough surgery, we all know that due to her health issues she’s at a much higher risk of complications. I asked her today if she still had her will in place and she said yes, the same one since having her heart problems. We didn’t discuss it past that, and honestly I don’t know what to say.
Frankly, everyone in our family is pretty fucked up and not great people. My parents (the people who adopted me and raised me) are great parents for the most part, but they’re not great people and I don’t imagine them doing well with those boys. All the other adults are kind of horrible when it comes to raising someone so I understand her dilemma. But for the love of gods, why the fuck pick me?? I’m the youngest adult, who lives alone and can barely make ends meet paying my rent and surviving working a full time job. Plus her boys are far from saints. One of them has been dabbling in drug selling, and the other lies as if the truth burns his tongue.
I’m terrified and don’t know what to say or do to get this situation to change.
TL/DR: Troubled teenage boys might be left in my care if our shared bio mom dies in surgery next month. I’m not ok with this and I’m not a fit person to take over their care alone. I’m terrified this might happen and I’m at a loss on how to get her to change her will.