My fiance and I have been dating for 5 years and recently got engaged. We are going through the motions of planning for our big day but are having major disagreements about how it should go.
I don’t care for weddings. I never really grew up dreaming about a wedding or wearing the white dress, etc. My parents were poor and didn’t have a wedding really and are unable to offer any advice on planning things. Until recently, I had never been to a wedding, but it does seem that women typically do all the work/planning, which is something I am not willing to waste my time on. I don’t have many close friends due to moving around a lot as a kid so I don’t have many people to invite. I’m not religious. So I would be perfectly fine just going down to City Hall to get some papers.
My fiance wants a big ritualistic ceremony/party. My fiance’s family is very Catholic and wants the wedding to be in a Church. His grandma also recently went to his cousin’s wedding and can’t stop remarking on how wonderful their wedding was. Apparently the bride organized everything and even had traditional Russian dancing and songs to entertain the guests. Grandma keeps emphasizing to my fiance that “The wedding is not for you. It’s to bring the families together.” My fiance also wants a bigger wedding since he has more friends to invite and is more outgoing/social than I am.
But I honestly wouldn’t even know where to begin to put together a big wedding…or any kind of religious wedding ceremony. I don’t really know how to go about finding a wedding planner if that’s something we need…but we’re not that well off and I would rather put all that money into something more practical like a house downpayment. In general, this whole wedding planning thing stresses me out and I would rather not deal with it. I feel like a bad fiancee for feeling like I don’t want to organize my own wedding and not feeling excited to throw a big party for everyone. What can I do to keep my sanity but not piss everyone off?
**tl;dr:** I want a small wedding because I hate planning and he wants a big show but doesn’t want to plan it.