Need Some Advice M(19)

I’m a freshman in college and I started having a crush on this girl a few weeks ago. I started out by sending her a candy gram on Valentine’s Day saying that she was pretty cool and asked if she wanted to hang out sometime. I got a thanks, but nothing else. I asked her out the Friday of that week and she was busy. Not like, “I don’t want to hang out with you busy,” but actually busy (we’re music majors, no free time).

After this, I back off for a bit. Her, a few of her friends, and I plan on going to see the orchestra later that week and going to a party afterwards. The orchestra is sold out, but the school has a ticket raffle which her and I entered. My grand plan is for me to win the ticket and for her to not so I can give her mine. Of course, we, and all of our friends end up winning the tickets and our seats aren’t next to each other.

After the performance, I get a Snapchat from one of her friends telling me where to meet up so we can all ride back. Her gay guy friend says, “Ooo is that her?” I say no, and he says “Don’t lie to me.” Fast forward to the party where we’ve all had a bit too much to drink, and she is talking to a guy with the same name as me about relationships. She says something about a guy liking her, and he says “Me?” and she says, “No, the other one.”

I see her and a few friends eating in the cafeteria one day and I join them. They are talking about another guy that she has a crush on, but isn’t really being clear about his feelings. I just sit there and think “Well, shit.” to myself repeatedly. She also mentioned that she really doesn’t actively pursue relationships; she likes to watch from afar.

A few days later, I see her studying alone in our dorm and ask if I can join. She says yes, and I go down and join her. She is clearly stressed about a test and a recital she had the next day, and she could have just as easily said no to the distraction of me. The next day, I send her a good luck Snapchat, and she seemed appreciative. After the test I asked her how it went and she replied.

She doesn’t avoid me, but she also doesn’t go out of her way to start conversation. Maybe that goes back to her watching from afar? It’s spring break this week, and my mom (who I’ve been asking for advice) tells me to message her laying it out there. I would rather do it in person, but if I did it over break, it would give her time to think. What do you all think the next step should be, or even more simply, do you think she’s even into me or is she just being nice?

tl;dr: I’m into a girl, but I’m pretty damn confused and need some advice.

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2 thoughts on “Need Some Advice M(19)

  1. joaquinilloc March 14, 2018 / 6:03 pm

    That “watching from afar” attitude could mean she is waiting for you to do a move.
    The only way you know she is not into you, is by rejecting you.

  2. GoldenPusheen March 14, 2018 / 6:03 pm

    I think that you sending her candy and telling her you to want to hang out, and her simply saying thanks but not reciprocating the idea of hanging out is fairly telling. If she was really interested she probably would’ve jumped at the idea.

    I don’t think you should lay it all out there, it’s too early to show your hand. Try to as her to hang out again when you guys are back at school, and see how she responds. If she agrees, you’re good and just play it casual. If her response is lukewarm at best, move on.

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