63 thoughts on “[Serious] Men of Reddit, if you could choose a different fluid to ejaculate, what would you choose and why?

  1. AutoModerator February 14, 2018 / 9:53 am

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  2. zippe6 February 14, 2018 / 9:53 am

    Horseshoe Crab Blood, it goes for 60,000 a gallon, making each ejaculate worth in the neighborhood of 75$.

  3. Cuttlery February 14, 2018 / 9:53 am

    Definitely chocolate, I’d have a hard time keeping my wife off of it

  4. EPIKNICE February 14, 2018 / 9:53 am

    Water. You could just jizz anywhere and it wouldn’t really be weird.

  5. mdchu February 14, 2018 / 9:53 am

    Glad this is such a serious discussion. Whisky btw.

  6. D45_B053 February 14, 2018 / 9:53 am

    The icing that comes with toaster strudels.

  7. Slowjams February 14, 2018 / 9:53 am

    Something that doesn’t stain clothing or get women pregnant.

  8. ks501 February 14, 2018 / 9:53 am

    50 year old fine scotch. I’d make a lot of money.

  9. Lympwing2 February 14, 2018 / 9:53 am

    Printer Ink, and then I’d sell it. That shit is more expensive than human blood.

  10. flatlander00321 February 14, 2018 / 9:53 am

    liquid gallium

    when it cooled, i’d sell ’em as sculptures

  11. propyro85 February 14, 2018 / 9:53 am

    I was going to say maple syrup … And then I realized how many infections that would cause since it would never all come out.

    Fine whiskey sounds great, except your urethra is very sensitive and that shit would burn like crazy. My girlfriend gave me a blow job after drinking some whisky, it was only pleasant for about 5 seconds.

  12. alginon1090 February 14, 2018 / 9:53 am

    Oil or custard. Depends on what my priorities are

  13. JustCreepyEnough February 14, 2018 / 9:53 am

    Female here and I wish men could just ejaculate root beer

  14. Uptownfade332 February 14, 2018 / 9:53 am

    Champagne because it would give a whole new meaning to golden shower

  15. Shadowglove February 14, 2018 / 9:53 am

    If your dick sauced like garlic sauce I’d be the fattest hooker in the world.

  16. Metmywifeatdonkeysho February 14, 2018 / 9:53 am

    I’d go pumpkin spice latte. It would solve a big problem for white girls who don’t like to swallow.

  17. nypvtt February 14, 2018 / 9:53 am

    Is fire a fluid? If so then I choose fire.

  18. GreenhornASMR February 14, 2018 / 9:53 am

    This is serious btw. Water. I will never be thirsty and I can save the world if we run out of water.

  19. stahple February 14, 2018 / 9:53 am

    Love that this gets a serious tag

  20. bdresner February 14, 2018 / 9:53 am

    Single strand of cooked angel hair pasta.
    Where does it come from? Nobody knows.
    Become famous. Live off royalty checks.

  21. kosher_beef_hocks February 14, 2018 / 9:53 am

    Assuming my body would be able to handle my own jizz I would say liquid Platinum

  22. DukeInterior February 14, 2018 / 9:53 am

    Honey, but it would have the same consistency as jizz so it wouldn’t get stuck or anything. Any girl you were with would just love to go down on a honey jizzer.

  23. GreyGoosey February 14, 2018 / 9:53 am

    Ketchup. Just to freak people out.

  24. Billisits February 14, 2018 / 9:53 am

    Black man sperm. If I ever got a girl pregnant, I could claim that I am not the father…

  25. SeeYouOn16 February 14, 2018 / 9:53 am

    Oil.

    Bottle said oil.

    Sell it.

    Profit.

  26. cheek_breek February 14, 2018 / 9:53 am

    Hand sanitizer because you don’t have to clean it up and you get to clean you’re hands too 👍

  27. CaptainMagnets February 14, 2018 / 9:53 am

    Ranch dressing. My girlfriend loooooooooves ranch dressing so the benefits are endless.

  28. Sunpear February 14, 2018 / 9:53 am

    pancake batter. instant pancakes anywhere.

  29. Chardlz February 14, 2018 / 9:53 am

    water: cleanup would be super easy.

  30. norranradd February 14, 2018 / 9:53 am

    I would still choose jizz, because I haven’t ejaculated properly before which is something I should bring up to my doctor even if I have never been sexually active before

    so this is my problem I guess

  31. Mr_Drewski February 14, 2018 / 9:53 am

    Pumpkin spice….ladies love pumpkin spice.

  32. atthem77 February 14, 2018 / 9:53 am

    Pineapple juice. BJs would be more common, and she’d always want to swallow.

  33. icarus14 February 14, 2018 / 9:53 am

    Since I have this superpower I would like to be able to cycle through various beverages on command :
    a) Beer (for the Canadians and Germans. Friends tell me breakfast/lunch beer is a thing over there?!)
    b)Chocolate milk (for taste and refreshment ofc)
    c)Water (So I can save lives)

  34. nicknack24 February 14, 2018 / 9:53 am

    Chlorinated water, so I can fill up my pool in my own time.

  35. Jai137 February 14, 2018 / 9:53 am

    Any fluid that brings about an instant and intense orgasm to the woman I’m with. That way I wouldn’t have to worry about lasting long.

  36. SentretPirouette February 14, 2018 / 9:53 am

    Humorously, the thought of jizzing easy cheese makes me laugh way more than it should. Practically, I think chocolate syrup is by far the best possible result.

  37. lewdlesion February 14, 2018 / 9:53 am

    Krispy Kreme glaze! It wouldn’t look that different, and she’d always want to swallow.

  38. Theres_A_FAP_4_That February 14, 2018 / 9:53 am

    Red birch beer, then I’d finally get around to learning how to bend down that far.

  39. raistliniltsiar February 14, 2018 / 9:53 am

    How in the hell is this marked as “Serious”?

  40. a-r-c February 14, 2018 / 9:53 am

    Spiders.

  41. wike_iii February 14, 2018 / 9:53 am

    Maple syrup because pancakes. 🥞

  42. RubbishBinJones February 14, 2018 / 9:53 am

    POG, its delicious and i could always get a job on flights to Hawaii.

  43. Gtjerz17 February 14, 2018 / 9:53 am

    Hawaiian Punch for sure. I would be just like the Hawaiian Punch fountain in Mr. Deeds.

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