[Serious] Men of Reddit who have been raped by women, what happened, did you tell anyone, and did they take you seriously?

[Serious] Men of Reddit who have been raped by women, what happened, did you tell anyone, and did they take you seriously?

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43 thoughts on “[Serious] Men of Reddit who have been raped by women, what happened, did you tell anyone, and did they take you seriously?

  1. Anna_Amortentia March 14, 2018 / 7:02 am

    We hope the following resources will bring all victims the support they need:

    [RAINN] (https://www.rainn.org/) has a multitude of tools for current and recovering sexual assault victims in the United States. HotPeachPages houses an [international directory] (http://www.hotpeachpages.net/a/countries.html) in over 110 languages. [1in6] (https://1in6.org/) offers a wide range of information and services to male sexual violence survivors. On reddit, /r/rapecounseling and /r/MenGetRapedToo/ are dedicated to providing emotional support to sexual violence victims. As well, /r/adultsurvivors is a community for adults who experienced sexual abuse as children. Keep in mind, these communities are not lead by professionals.

    What has happened to you is not right, nor it is your fault. It’s okay to be scared and unsure. Please, seek help if you are struggling. You deserve to be happy.

    – The AskReddit Mods

    If you have contributions or amendments, please notify the mods of /r/askreddit.

  2. BeastModular March 14, 2018 / 7:02 am

    I’ve posted this a few times, here it is again.

    Long story short: Late night after the bars in college, I go home and passed out, girl knocks on my door and asks if I’m home, we know her so my roommate says yeah and lets her in. She goes straight to my room where somehow, while I lay lifeless passed out drunk, she gets me hard and starts riding me. My roommate opens my door and flips on the light and asks if she even put a condom on me first, she says no, and he kicks her out. I am informed of all this in the morning.
    Scary the idea that if the roles were reversed, it’d be a severely different story but I personally didn’t really care nor did anyone else when I told them. Every single response was “that’s awesome easiest lay of your life”

  3. AtlanticFit March 14, 2018 / 7:02 am

    Posted this before in a similar thread:

    I was raped by my college roomate’s girlfriend. This happened around sophomore year of college. One of my roomates had been dating this girl off an in for about 8 months or so. She was a tall, athletic, attractive red head. She had that oh so famous red head temper. My roommate was also not the best boyfriend. They fought a lot in our apartment. Several times, I was forced to physically get between them to prevent an altercation and/or our stuff getting broken. These fights happened at least once a week, and almost every time they drank.
    One Friday, she tells me that she wants to set me up with one of her soriorty sisters, so we 4 (roommate, roommate’s gf, gf’s friend, and myself) all go out to the clubs. The night was going surprisingly well. The friend and I didn’t really connect in a romantic level, but we were all having a good time none the less. At one of the clubs, it’s my turn to buy a round, I’m standing at the bar, trying to tune out the loud music, when I feel an arm reach around from behind me and grab my crotch. Natural reaction, I turn to see who it was and see my roomates gf standing behind me grinning… I carefully removed her hand, and tried to mentally brush it off as the alcohol getting to her. Fast forward another two hours and we are in the cab going back to our apartment. Roomate and girlfriend are loudly fighting about something, while the friend and I are sitting in uncomfortable silence. It is at this point, things get really blurry, it was as if all of the nights alcohol hit me all at once.
    I remember us getting back to our apartment parking lot and my roomate and his girlfriend are shouting at each other. I throw the driver a bill and stumble back to our apartment with girlfriends friend in tow, leaving them to fight outside. I don’t know where the friend crashed, I just walked straight in and straight to my bed. I don’t think that I even took my club cloths off.
    Don’t know how much time passed, but get the feeling of something wet around my crotch area and on my stomach. My initial thought, before opening my eyes, was that I pissed myself. Upon opening my eyes, I see my roomates girlfriend on top of me, riding me. I sobered up in that one second and quickly shoved her off of me. I just remember saying “WTF are you doing?!” and her saying VERY loudly, “Well someone else won’t fuck me!” as if she wanted my roomate to hear. I told her to get out, and she did whilst calling me an asshole. I lay there for a minute trying to analyze what just happened, when I start to feel sick. Not sure if it was the alcohol or the incident that just occurred, but I ran to the bathroom to puke. I returned to my bed and fell back asleep.
    I never brought it up with my roomate or his girlfriend. I dont know if she ever told him. He told me the next day that he was so blasted that he didn’t remember anything after we left the club. The sorority sister was no where to be found the next morning. Roomate and his girlfriend broke up for good not long after that.
    I still see her around town every now and then. We are cordial we speak, but I have never brought up the incident. I’m not even 100% sure if she remembers doing it. To be honest, even I have confused feelings about it to this day.

  4. JohnDoe246 March 14, 2018 / 7:02 am

    Throwaway because my mates know my actual Reddit account.

    I wasn’t raped but I was molested, I guess. When I was 19 my brothers girlfriend (now his wife) came into my room after we’d all spent the night drinking. I was very drunk, but I still had my wits about me. She’s a big woman (tall and fat), and I was a short, skinny thing at 19 so yeah, when she started yanking my pants down I couldn’t push her off. She started sucking me off but I didn’t get hard, so she stopped after like 20 seconds and stumbled out of the room. I just sat there wondering wtf I should so. In the end I couldn’t tell my brother because he’d be devastated and he’d probably beat my ass because he can’t very well beat hers, and he needs to deal with issues with his fists. I eventually did tell someone when I was drunk, and to be fair he did say it was wrong – but only after I told him my sister-in-law is fat and unattractive. He assured me that if she were hot, I’d have enjoyed it. Except, no, because she was my brothers girlfriend and I felt like a complete prick for not being able to stop her.

  5. krazyeyekilluh March 14, 2018 / 7:02 am

    When I was 8 years old, I was at church on Sunday morning. A woman that I knew well (in her 30’s, the mother of a friend), cornered me in a room and told me she wanted to pray with me. She felt me up good as she prayed, and I mean everywhere. There was no sex, just groping. It lasted about 3 minutes, but felt like an hour. I was horrified and scared, and never spoke of it again until now, decades later. So… not a rape, but a molestation.

  6. CptBruisan March 14, 2018 / 7:02 am

    Senior beach week, I had consensual sex with a girl one night … in that I was really drunk and in that state sure, let’s do it. A night or two later I had passed out and my friends literally carried me to my bed. I came to with her on top of me. When I realized what was going on I got up and went to the bathroom. She followed me in there and tried to go down on me. In all seriousness, I tried to force it out to hurry the situation along and ended up peeing in her mouth. So… justice?

    In all of the years telling that story, not one person has acted like it was not cool for her to get on me while I was passed out. Sometimes I get a “lol you got raped”.

  7. unfetteredbymemes March 14, 2018 / 7:02 am

    Below is from the last time this question was asked.

    I thought about using a throwaway for this but fuck it, I control my life now.

    This is actually how my son was born.

    I had been with this lady, lets call her Stacy, she was crazy, but I wasn’t exactly stable either, I was really into painkillers at the time, and I was not doing very fantastic at life. I had a stable job, a shared rent house, a car, but no equity, no savings, (drugs are expensive) and a general feeling of wanting to die.

    This general feeling of wanting to die was mostly due to the excessive painkiller use, and I was on Probation at the time, but that is a separate story of stupidity. Anyhow I wasn’t exactly the most emotionally available person, I worked all the time, because rent+drugs=slavery. When I was home I was reading, or sleeping, or being a generally miserable cunt.

    Now Stacy, Stacy, has no job, she just goes to school, she stays with me, rent free, and for a while, we were happy. Until my general priggishness pushed her away. Anyhow, she cheated on me. I caught an STI because of it. I broke up with her, I asked her to leave.

    I get treated. I grieve. I become less like a human and more like a miserable, hollowed out, skeleton who has trouble processing mentions, emotions, priorities, the basics of human interaction. I get put on mail in probation, the easiest there is. I don’t mail in. I just want to sleep. Maybe never wake up.

    So I tried to end it the only way I knew how, I took a lot of painkillers, and drank whiskey till I couldn’t see straight.

    I wake up in the morning. I’m disappointed. I’m alive.

    Stacy is naked beside. WTF? what happened? Did I call her? My phone is shattered. I wake her up. I ask her to leave. I haven’t eaten in a couple of days, I’m starving, and so hungover I can’t think. She starts to laugh at me. I start to get angry but my head spins, I fall back onto the bed. I realize she is undressing me. I moan out a please help me. I think I’m dying. I wake up. I’m naked. She’s gone.

    A few days later, she calls my job and asks to sit down with me. She says, “I’m late.”

    I cry. This is not what I needed. She asks for money. I give her some. Go back into work and my PO is there wondering why I haven’t mailed in.

    I go to jail. Then rehab. While I was in rehab my consular, helped me realize that the way she had always treated me, was not like a partner but as a servant.

    I have no idea where to end this.

    Anyone who has dealt with something like this knows,it’s how you cope. I’m getting better, I still avoid relationships with women because I’m not ready. I want to get a little bit better before I try that again.


    To add I never told anyone until therapy about 12 months later. I didn’t even believe me until I had run through it about 3-4 times. Self delusion is a motherfucker.

  8. throwawayX1111 March 14, 2018 / 7:02 am

    My sister was a few years older than me. When I was in 8th grade (like 13 years old for my friends across the pond) she was around 17 or 18. One night she came home with her friend from a party and her friend was spending the night. Not unusual. There was laughing and banging around but eventually quiet and I went back to watching TV. 15 minutes later she comes into my room (we didn’t have locks on our bedroom doors). She started talking to me. I’ve known her forever so this wasnt unusual either. I didn’t know the signs then, but realize she was drunk now. So I was under the covers and she starts messing around with me. Not too weird. But then next thing you know shes kissing me. I pushed her away in a “whoa, hold the phone!” manner. She said she wanted to be ready for college. Next thing you know, hands in my underwear. This was before the internet and I was a pretty naive 13 year old kid and didn’t really grasp what was going on. Next thing I know, I’m naked as the day I was born trying to hide my junk and she’s all over me. Eventually after some various activity she rode me and I finished quickly. She got dressed and left and I just laid there in a WTF stupor for an hour before falling asleep. I never told a soul about it and I don’t think she did because I was close to my sister and she would have mentioned something. I thought about it later and if the roles were reversed…an 18 year old boy going into a 13 year old girls room and forcing himself on her and it always felt like that scenario was way worse. I know they’re both sexual assault, and even being a victim myself, it just always seemed different in my head.

  9. Throwwwwwwnawayyyyy March 14, 2018 / 7:02 am

    Ended up in my exes room because she said she wanted to talk. She locked to door and told me she wanted to fuck. Told her no repeatedly and she started slapping and kicking me every time I tried to leave. I told her I was gonna yell for help and she said “who are my roommates gonna believe you or me?”. So I tried calling my friend to come help me but she took me phone and threw it into her closet, with the same kicking (balls) and slapping me. I finally relented and let her do whatever she wanted then packed up my things left and completely blocked her off of everything.

  10. ghiscari_ March 14, 2018 / 7:02 am

    Not full on rape, but I guess..prolonged sexual assault. I still find it hard to frame it that way in my mind, though.

    A female friend took pity on me when we were all crashing over at a friend’s house. I’ve always found her very uncomfortable to be around (she has a tendency to be very handsy and have no concern for your personal space) but knowing my luck, I ended up having to share a sofa with her for sleeping.

    Shortly before we called it a night, I had disclosed the fact that I was a virgin in a game of Never Have I Ever – something that has never really bothered me, as I seem to feel no sexual drive or attraction to anyone. Regardless, she looked at me with pity and said “aww [Ghiscari_]” in a simpering voice, like I was a baby.

    During that night she decided to ‘do me a favour’ I guess and slipped her hands into my sleeping bag. It should also be pointed out that she is much physically larger than me (I have dwarfism). Our friends were all around us in the dark, so I felt like I couldn’t yell out, but I tensed up like a board and grabbed her hands. *”It’s okay, you’ll like it.”* Fuck, just thinking about it makes me so angry. I felt so pathetic. This is what I was to her. A pitiful disabled freak who nobody could *truly* love, only pity.

    She carried on despite how obvious it was that I was extremely uncomfortable, and eventually stopped when it was clear that it wasn’t going anywhere.

    I stayed wide awake for the next 10 hours, completely frozen and sweating, with her pressed up against my back, just waiting for her to try again. The next day, my whole body ached. It was the worst night of my life.

    And people I dare confide in have said *”was she attractive?”* *”whats wrong with you?”* *”why didn’t you go along with it?” “don’t be so proud.”* Fucking hell.

    Edit: I just wanted to say I am overwhelmed by all the supportive comments I have received. I kinda regretted divulging this shit and I’ve now had 3 shots of vodka (which is a heck of a lot for me) to chill me out, but these comments have really taken me aback in a good way, thank you so much.

  11. Boknowscos March 14, 2018 / 7:02 am

    I’ve told this story on my other account. I guess I’ll tell it in a little more detail. I was raped twice by two different girls. The first one was my dad’s girlfriend. I was staying with my dad and his girlfriend when I was around 16 and one weekend he went away for the weekend. Well the moment he left his girlfriend tells me let’s go. We go to the liquor store and she tells me to pick a bottle. I drank tequila every night with my dad so I thought nothing of it. I picked a bottle of absolute citreon and a six pack of beer. Well we start taking shots and before you know it the entire bottle is gone. I get and and throw up in the bathroom and stumble back to the couch and pass out. That’s all I remember…… Until I wake up to her giving me a blowjob. I passed out again and she is riding me. I couldn’t pass out after that so I pretended to sleep until she was done. The next morning I woke up ran in the shower and when I got out she was telling me about the great life we were gonna have. Well I played it off until my dad got back and told him everything. Shit blew up and I went back home with my mom and buried it in my head for 20 years.

    Second time I was drinking with a bunch of friends and a friend who was staying with me was seeing this girl. Well the girl he was seeing had another girl who was sleeping at her house so I had to drive them all. The whole drive to my house this girl is saying she was gonna fuck me. I sorta laughed and said nahhh I’m good. You fucking with my other boy and I got a girl. Well she wouldn’t take no for a answer. When we got to my house I told my friend not to leave us alone. As soon as I use the bathroom I get back to my room and this girl is naked in my bed. I go to leave the room and she runs over and closes the door and litterally pushes me onto a chair. I get a flashback of the first time and I freeze. I let her do her thing and I went to bed.

    I never told anyone and my girlfriend at the time ended up being my wife. She put up with my depression for about 15 years before she got tired of it and I finally told her. It was like a huge wieght off my chest. I still never drink around females unless my wife is around and I have a hard time looking females in the face when I talk to them. It really fucked me up. If I have 1 drop of alcohol my dick is dead to the world. I get such bad anxiety and the occasional flashback.

  12. MHimo3 March 14, 2018 / 7:02 am

    I was at a wedding without my girlfriend as she had a prior engagement and couldn’t make it. I’m English, and I knew the American bride because we taught English in France together a few years beforehand. Her husband was Italian, and the wedding took place in Turin.

    On the day I was sat at a table with a lot of the groom’s Italian friends. Even though I don’t speak Italian this suited me well as the Americans have a strange relationship with Alcohol. Everyone knew I wasn’t single. On my table was one American girl, Laura. She was really athletic, a crossfitter I think. Not a bodybuilder but there was no fat on her at all.

    Fast forwards and I had drunk more than my fair share. The “American” tables had a lot of wine left on them after the meal. After acting like a tit on the dancefloor, the night wound down and everyone left to go home or back to hotels. In the hotel lift myself, Lauren, and another American girl who I think was the maid of honour were going up. Lift stops, my floor, I get out and head towards my room. MoH stays in the lift to continue to her floor. Laura’s still with me. As we get near my room I remember Laura is staying on the floor above mine, which is odd but I was blotto so it didn’t occur to me to say anything.

    I say “bye” in short order as I’m taking a turn and I wasn’t to get to bed as soon as I can. As I close the door it hits something hard. Her foot. I turn to look at her and she pushed the door open, kissing me. I push her off, mumbling incoherently. She pushes into my room and shuts the door behind her, telling me to go with it. I’m fairly uncoordinated and weak because of the drink; I say no. She pushes me onto the bed. I black out. In the morning she’s gone and there are 3 (three) used condoms in the bin.

    I always felt horrendous about cheating on my GF of the time. I never told her, or anyone about it really. That relationship didn’t work out and as far as I know she never found out about it.

    Fast forward a few years to the me too movement and I see someone on twitter or FB, can’t remember which, post a story extremely similar to my own. That’s the first time I ever considered that I’d been raped. I raised this and was laughed at by men and women alike.

    I personally think that if the roles were reversed, and I’d forced entry into a drunk girl’s room whilst I was sober and had sex with her when she had repeatedly told me no, I’d probably be in some serious bother. I know better than to tell anyone else now.

    **EDIT**: Okay I went out and feel like I wrote it all in one go and got a bit angry towards the end so let me clarify:

    1) On Americans and alcohol: this family were very puritanical. Christians that extreme don’t really exist where I’m from. I got very drunk but at a British wedding there would have been 5-10 others as drunk as me or more drunk than me. Which makes it worse because I don’t think “Laura” had drank fore than 3 glassed of wine.

    2) On my sexual prowess: there were 3 johnnies in the bin. I don’t think a single one was full. I doubt I finished. Sometimes, when I have condoms but no lube, I’ll put a fresh one on if it dries out, or goes floppy, maybe she did the same? I said “blacked out” because I really can’t remember what happened. I may have been an active participant. Can’t say for sure.

    3) I never reported it to the police because seriously? The Italian police? Edit 2: this was a joke. I didn’t report it cos I didn’t realise it was a rape for a few years. Though I still doubt I’d have been taken seriously. Also I’m from the UK and I don’t know any more than her first name and that she went to university with my friend. Now she’s presumably back in the states. Also I just don’t want to go through it.

    4) To say I was laughed at was me overreacting, the reactions varied. When I first mentioned it on social media I was told that MeToo “wasn’t for men”, that was the prevailing attitude. A few of the bigger bitches made jokes. I didn’t actually know any of em, they were strangers on social media. In real life, most people I’ve told have responded with something along the lines of “that sucks man”. My current girlfriend is my first real relationship since that time. It’s been three years since it happened and in that time I dated a bit and had one long-term FWB. Current girlfriend said “if you were a girl that would be rape”, which I’m satisfied with. She’s old fashioned and I love being with her, we’re a classic.

    5) I’m not afraid of being laughed at but in my culture men really don’t talk very much about things like this (see above reactions). The stiff upper lip is definitely a real thing. It’s in the past now and I’ve come to terms with it. To have so many people flatly assert that I didn’t cheat honestly does mean a lot, and makes me feel much better about myself.

  13. Dalivus March 14, 2018 / 7:02 am

    Back in HS. Girl had dogged me for a while but I wasn’t feeling it. She got a ‘job’ with my mother babysitting my little brother. I was asleep on a saturday morning and woke up with her straddling me and me inside her (thanks morning wood.) Since it was already happening I just went along with it. Yeah I told some folks but it was never a big deal. I regret it like hell though. She is certifiable and still haunts my life. Maybe it I had just gotten up early and left before she got there, but it is what it is and I just deal with it.

  14. LostCanadianGoose March 14, 2018 / 7:02 am

    Haven’t told anyone and probably never will. Last thing I want is people to not take me seriously if I tell them.

    It was done by a family member that I haven’t seen in over a decade when I was really young. It’s honestly part of the reason why I trust almost no one.

    EDIT: I want to thank you all for the kind words. Really, it means a lot. I’ve kicked around the idea of telling someone and it may come someday. It sucked that this happened but like with every bad thing from my childhood, I’m overcoming it and creating a great life for myself. I want to mention I do have a great social support network of a few close friends although I haven’t told anyone about this specific instance. I just hope someday that the stigma that men can’t be raped is gone.

  15. mobiledisaster March 14, 2018 / 7:02 am

    I went over to a girl’s house, smoked way more weed than I was used to and with a bottle of wine I was basically a zombie. We went to her bed and I asked if she had a condom, she said no, I told her we weren’t shagging then. Passed out, woke up with her riding me. At that point I figured I might as well go with it, since if I was going to catch something then I’d already have it, and I really wanted to go to sleep rather than get dressed and try to get home, deal with awkwardness. No diseases thank god.

    I wasn’t much more than disappointed, and my friends male and female say it isn’t rape, so sometimes before I tell my story I reverse the roles and tell them about the time I shagged an unconscious girl without protection after she’d already said she didn’t want sex. Their reaction is wayyyy different.

    Edit: oh shit I forgot. I told our mutual friend that introduced us and she said “oh yeah I’ve heard she can be a bit rapey from other guys”. Cheers for that, would have been good to know ahead of time.

    Edit 2: as pointed out by a kind commenter this isn’t rape as rape can only happen with a penis in my country. My bad. Please remove this mods if this means I broke the serious tag rules…

  16. TheEliteSpectre March 14, 2018 / 7:02 am

    Got drunk with some friends and took a couple bars (not an uncommon Saturday night back then). One girl and I stayed up bs’ing in the kitchen. Most folks had passed out and it was a way to keep from disturbing people. The next thing I recall is waking up on the couch with her riding me and biting the hell out of my chest (the bruise lasted about a week and a half). A few other people wake up to the noises, including my girlfriend that I shared the apartment with. The girl riding me stopped to the commotion and left quickly.

    I had never blacked out before and wanted to make sure I was okay (drugs are bad, mmm’kay). Toxicology turned up she had slipped some ruffies in my drink at some point. Had gf go with me, because she was having a hard time believing the story. (Hot chick riding your bf in the living room while you sleep so you can work in the morning and him not wanting it). Also had them check for any STDs as people started warning us that she may be running green. Came back clean, but that night started my path to stop using drugs.

    Talked to a cop friend about the situation and he, low key, advised against trying to press charges since there were drugs and alcohol present and they would have to search the place for evidence and that wouldn’t go too well for me and it would come down to her word against mine. Even with me being ruffied, it would be hard to convince a jury, so I let it go.

    Went about three years without seeing her anywhere, even though we ran in the same circles. Bumped into her in a grocery store and she immediately started apologizing. I told her it was in the past and I’ve moved on. She wasn’t making a scene and I didn’t really want to make one either. I don’t know that I would have had that restraint had I bumped into her shortly after the incident.

    Wow, that was cathartic.

    Edit: after discussion with /u/Kali-Cassiopeia

    If anybody takes anything away from this at all, I hope they take that drugs can put you in bad situations, even if you think you can handle yourself and maybe that they aren’t alone in their fucked up situation.

  17. throwawaythisis99 March 14, 2018 / 7:02 am

    Throwaway. Not sure this counts but I was 13 during summer vacation. I was the annoying little brother to my stepsister who was 15 or so at the time. Both my mom and my stepdad worked so we were home alone during the day(a rarity back then). My stepsister had friends from around the neighborhood over and they thought a good way to kill boredom would be to hold me down and undress me. This was circa 1979/1980, long before the internet was a thing. Even before we had VHS player or cable. Seeing the opposite sex naked was tricky. If you didn’t stumble across a porn stash, it was a mystery. So their curiosity got the best of them I guess. As soon as I knew what was happening it was too late. I tried to fight but it was my stepsister and three friends and I was a skinny little kid so I wasnt a match. They got everything off and they did their thing, playing with it and laughing as it reacted. I was crying and yelling at them the whole time. It went on for a long time and eventually they either got bored or I got free, but kinda of a combo. It was awful. I waited for my mom to come home and told her immediately. She shrugged it off and told me to stay out of her room. That was it. I begged her to do something, but nope. I was a boy, who cares? She said it’s different with boys. It made no sense. I didn’t even mention it to my stepdad. So I hope things have chaged nearly 40 years later, but back then, it was never taken seriously. Truly messed up. If that happened to my son I’d go absolutely batshit crazy.

  18. PM_ME_UR_GIRLS_VAG March 14, 2018 / 7:02 am

    My ex girlfriend liked to be “raped” she liked the roleplay of it I guess, she asked me to tie her up and really be rough with her one time. I did it even though I didn’t feel comfortable being so rough with her. We did this a few times here and there, our relationship started to fall apart due to other issues like her not trusting me for some reason and making me take pictures of everywhere I went and constantly fighting about it, I finally saw what was happening to me being controlled by her and never being allowed to see my friends or family and even skipping classes in college because she didn’t like a girl in my class or whatnot. I tried to leave her and she showed me a video, the video was one of our rape roleplay sessions, she recorded it and now was using it to blackmail me. I was scared to death and ended up staying with her for about another 6 months where she would regularly force me to have sex with her or she would call the police and tell them I raped her, the Tape had me dead to rights over a crime I didn’t REALLY commit. Eventually I felt as if I had enough of a case and I took a leap of faith and left her, blocked her on everything. Never heard from her again. Its been about 3 years and my trust in relationships is ruined but im still recovering.

    Edit: Thank you all for the kind words. I will attempt to reply to some comments but there is a ton. Like I said to some people that recognized the story, I told it before on another account but deleted that account due to irl things.

    Edit 2: Im getting a ton of shit for not going after her after this situation. Hear me out here. I have the evidence I need to protect myself from any charges ever thrown my way as well as protect any future victim of hers. I have the video mentioned AND a phone call recording of her explaining that video was a fake. Im fine. Im not brainwashed. I know I probably should have pursued it at the time but I didn’t, hindsight is 20/20. Its too late now to bring it up out of context and I want to remain as far away from the situation as possible.

    I may delete the post due to the negativity towards me, that’s not what I asked for when posting this I simply shared my story.

    Last Edit: Deleting this in an hour, if anyone would like to just copy the comment and keep it in the thread be my guest but I am deleting my account.

    Last Last Edit: Alot of messages have poured in asking me to not delete the account or post. Due to popular demand and the fact that someone gave me gold that I can’t waste I am going to keep it up but will no longer be replying to any comments made here or messages sent to me. Thank you to all who have sent positive messages of support. I really appreciate it as well as the positive comments.

  19. icarus14 March 14, 2018 / 7:02 am

    I got nearly blackout drunk with my roommates and floor mates in first year, the night before our first exam. Went to bed alone, they staid up drinking. Woke up (vague drunken awareness ) to a girl trying to stuff my whiskey dick inside her. Didn’t really know what to do and just sort of drunkenly let her continue. I was extremely confused as this girl was an out lesbian, I had no idea what was going on. Tried to off my self a few days later.

    Took a long time to admit to myself that it even happened, maybe it contributed a bit to trying to kill myself? Cuz I was in a miserable terrible black hole for the next months and eventually switched schools. It took a long time to even consciously connect the dots. Never really told anyone cuz I couldn’t really even admit to myself that *maybe*, that wasn’t a cool thing of her to do.

    And if I did tell anyone other than a therapist I have a hard time believing they would be supportive. MY close, lifelong friends already think I’m a wee bit of a slut (some truth), especially because I’m not looking for commitment in any form. So I imagine people would be super dismissive. At the time my roommates sort of tongue in cheek congratulated me, because you know, isn’t that the dream?

    “You were drunk in first year and hooked up with a lesbian?! Legendary!”

    I still think about it way too much. Also internet friends, there is a TON of sexual assault that occurs in university and college campuses. The schools do NOT report it and it’s almost impossible to get people kicked out. This year at the Head of the Trent (a massive regatta) my friend is a Don, in her one residence alone there were 50 reported (and filed) sexual assaults in one weekend. Not a single word was said on behalf of the school. It’s crazy.

  20. sparky662 March 14, 2018 / 7:02 am

    Not my own story but one I heard from a friend of a friend a while back.

    Basically he went out drinking with a bunch of people from uni. He wasn’t particularly big on drinking or partying but he is kind of shy and wanted to get to know people more. About 1 in the morning he was walking back to the dorm with half a dozen of his fellow students when he confessed he was a virgin in a drunken game of truth or dare. One of the girls (that he barely knew) decided she would give him a BJ to ‘make up’ for him being a virgin. He didn’t want it, especially not in front of everyone and in public so he resisted and pushed her away. She got upset because she assumed it was something wrong with her and the group sided with her, demanding to know why he was pushing her away, claiming that a proper guy should love getting random BJs. And that’s why he prentended to be gay for most of uni. He dropped out after a year, partly as he felt uni wasn’t for him but also because he was basically lying to everyone about being gay because of that one night.

    Just imagine if you flipped that story, if a girl he barely knew had admitted to being a virgin so he decided to forcefully finger her to cheer her up about it.

  21. justifications March 14, 2018 / 7:02 am

    I was in high school, I hung out with kids who were less popular, sort of intentionally. Gamers, back then (and probably still now) were less popular I guess. Anyway, this girl was older than me by about a year or two, but she had a reputation among everyone for “being easy” which is why people picked on her. I tried to see through all of that, I was not romantically interested in her at all, I was hardly even attracted, if at all.

    One day I met up with her after school, maybe we were walking out together, I dont know…. it was a long time ago, and I would walk home from school every day so this wasnt something unusual for me. Its always more fun to walk home with someone else, so we talked about a bunch of random stuff, we had a class together I think? Drivers Education.

    She comes over to my house, my parents arent going to be home for at least another 4 hours, and she knows it because of our conversation. We’re pretty much hanging out in my parents living room, I’m on my dad’s reclining chair, and all of a sudden she goes and sits on my lap and starts getting undressed. Virgin me has no clue what is happening right now because the older girl is doing some weird stuff.

    She starts wiggling around on me (oh how innocent is this description) and eventually straddles me on the chair, I kinda cant move without actually pushing her off and at this point she has her arms tied around my head. Then she starts “talking dirty” which became pretty forceful. She was wearing lowcut shorts, grabs my hand, slams it in to her as if she was already ready to go, the next thing I know at this point is that im already inside of her (just my hand) but shes basically using all of her might to use my hand to finger herself? 15 year old me at this point has no clue what the fuck is happening.

    Well……. SUDDENLY the garage door opening sound happens. My mom is home like 3 hours early. She flips out, hops off of me, pretty much half way undressed, and runs out the back door in to my parent’s backyard. I run to the bathroom to try to clean up, and wash my fucking hands. I get to the bathroom, and confused me is about to clean myself before I notice a bunch of smegma on my finger, it looks like a seasame seed, or a poppyseed, im not fucking sure. I smelled it… because lets be honest, I’m 15 years old, and its weird. It was fucking terrible and I was emotionally destroyed at this point. I clean my hands and my mom walks in and shes super fucking suspect. My mom actually saw this girl in the backyard but didnt want to tell me.

    Well, 5 min goes by and magically, the girl in the back yard ends up at the front of my house and shes like “hey, do you mind if i get a ride home” so I play coy with my mom and I’m like “hey mom, randomly this girl from school is here and she wants a ride home, do you mind?” and she goes sure no problem. But then on the ride home, my mom explains she saw her in the backyard and I didnt need to hide all of this. I felt some guilt there.

    Next day, I go to school, I tell most of my closest friends about this terrible, terrible encounter. and what do they do? They focus in on the fact that this girl’s smegma looks like poppy seeds. From there on out, this girl is PERMANENTLY known at the school as “poppy seed”. She ended up putting in a school transfer request because the harassment got so bad, which made me feel even worse.

    Skip ahead to summer school that year. I had a teacher who was from Zimbabwae (no lie) teaching me algebra 1, the bane of public high school. Language barrier from the teacher ensured that I would be failing, ultimately ending up in summer school. As I’m there, guess who else is there? Poppy seed. She was fucking pissed at me, literally tried to fight me on the bus to summer school. She actually started punching me on the bus, yet I get roped in to it as if I’m beating her. I get caught up in all of this because now the bus driver for the summer school bus has to report me to the dean of the summer school, which is basically the district official from our school system. I had to re-explain EVERYTHING to this guy, “where the rumor started”…. and as I reexplained everything above, needless to say, the principal of summer school did NOT believe my story and instead claimed that I was harassing this girl. Apparently the girl went as far as to get a lawyer involved and threatened to sue me.

    Luckily the girl’s lawyer was level headed and eventually it all came down to the lawyer just asking me for a written letter of apology to her, which I did. And then they filed a light restraining order against me, which I was totally on board with because I personally felt like it was keeping her away from me. I didn’t want to associate with this shit anymore.

    Anyway, yeah. That happened.

  22. Foreverforaminute March 14, 2018 / 7:02 am

    I passed out at a party, woke up and a girl I didn’t know was sucking my dick. I told her to stop she argues a bit and I fall back unconscious, sometime later I wake up to her on top of me trying to put my dick inside her. I lightly slapped her, said wtf, pulled up my pants and passed back out. No clue what happened I was extremely drunk, I told my friends the story in the morning, they laughed, I laughed, we made breakfast.

  23. plzacceptmyusername March 14, 2018 / 7:02 am

    Didn’t take me seriously. She later started bragging to my sister about it (was sisters roommate). This is I don’t get too drunk anymore; I had gone to my room and passed out drunk and she went in after me.

    I have felt disgusting and worthless to women ever since.

  24. Mad_Jukes March 14, 2018 / 7:02 am

    I was drunk during an after party in my dorm apt at vcu. I went to lay down cuz the room started spinning and about 10mins later a p. rican chick we knew slid into my room, got me “up” and then squatted down on it. After a few I guess I fully grasped what was going on and groggily pushed her off. She got up and left the room.

    I wasn’t necessarily “mad” about the rape itself,—she wasn’t ugly/disgusting plus it was college, wild shit happens—I was mad that it was unprotected and lowkey ashamed cuz I had a gf at the time. The guys thought it was hilarious when I told them.
    EDIT: After reading a few other posts, because of the violent connotations associated with the word “rape”, I should say it was more along the lines of non consensual intercourse. There’s people truly scarred by their experiences and felt their life was in danger. I had none of that, and have no mental/emotional scarring from the brief event.
    EDIT 2: Lol…people……all 20 senders of the same thing back to back…WHOA…. chill OUT……I understand that non consensual sex “is rape” but I feel like some of you are misunderstanding the sentiment I was trying to express because *”my vocabulary wasn’t perfectly spec’d from webster’s dictionary to 100% accuracy”*. A slap and a pummeling into submission are both assault. But they’re not “equal” acts. Yes I was “raped” but I’m not about to pretend I should be on stage next to isis sex slaves. I’m not excusing her at all or giving a pass just because she’s female, I’m just saying that my situation isn’t equal to the real visceral nature of “rape” as experienced by others who were left traumatized.
    I appreciate the well wishes and concern regardless, especially since we’re all anonymous strangers. Thank you to the people that understood.

  25. TripsMcNeely March 14, 2018 / 7:02 am

    This is a story I have never told (in earnest) to anyone except for my wife. At the time I didn’t think too much of it, but something that’s always stuck with me and have since realized that it has affected me in ways I probably can’t count.

    Around the age of 17 I hosted a party at my house for a few close friends and co-workers. One of my co-worker friends (Bonnie) asked to bring along another co-worker of mine (Chloe) that I knew was interested in me, but I didn’t really have any interest in her. I told Bonnie not to invite Chloe because I had invited a girl that I was interested in and I didn’t want it to be weird. Much to my annoyance, Bonnie shows up at my house with Chloe anyways and I plan to just ignore her and have fun with the rest of guests.

    I should explain at this point that 17 year old me was as scrawny and weak as they come; Chloe on the other hand was built like a 6+ foot brick house.

    Partying ensues, a few drinks were imbibed, and I had successfully avoided interacting with Chloe for most of the night. She would oddly creep upstairs to where most of the party-goers were and then slink back downstairs after a few minutes (my bedroom was downstairs).

    The party starts to wind down and guests leave until just a few that were staying the night remained. I decided it was time to go to bed… where I found Chloe laying in my bed waiting for me. I asked her to leave (she wouldn’t) and since I didn’t have the strength to move her I told her that I was going to bed and I didn’t care what she did as long as she left me alone. She did not. Honestly, I don’t remember most of what happened next (I think I’ve blacked most of it out), but I do remember being absolutely man-handled – she had my pants off and attempted to perform oral sex on me. It was shocking and painful and I didn’t know what to do. I had always been taught not to be physical with a woman, not that it would have mattered with this one anyways. Eventually she stopped, I’m not even sure why, and I went to sleep. She was gone in the morning.

    The next day at breakfast I tried to explain what happened to my friends. I showed them bruises and told them that my genitals were in severe pain. They laughed it off as a case of “blue balls” and that was the last time I ever talked about it.. As this was one of my first “sexual” encounters, it really messed me up for the first few real relationships I had after. To this day I still shy away or don’t trust taller women… pretty shitty.

  26. 3ebfan March 14, 2018 / 7:02 am

    I have always been groped/grabbed/kissed in the workplace by women because of my looks. I have never told anyone or reported anything because of how it may come across. The biggest incident that comes to mind is when I was working in a retirement home in college and was dating one of my colleagues and how two or three girls in particular would always try to grab me or touch me when my significant other was nearby.

    Women can be just as perverted as men; it really annoys me that this stereotype only applies to men.

  27. atoast2death March 14, 2018 / 7:02 am

    My boyfriend and I were talking one night and I confided in him how I had been raped. After a little while of him hugging and kissing on me to make me feel better he told me that there was a girl he was kind of interested in. One night they went to his house and were fooling around, but he had told her he didn’t want to have sex. Well, she got on top anyway and did what she did. He just kind of sat there thinking and he was like “Kind of sounds like your story.” And I told him our experiences were parallel, but then he told me that they hooked up a few times after that. It didn’t seem to bother him that much when we were talking about it, but I don’t know. His reaction kind of surprised me, it was like he had just figured it out.

  28. Emerystones March 14, 2018 / 7:02 am

    Was invited to a “get together” by this girl I went to HS with who I hadn’t talked to in probably over 5 years. Reconnected out of nowhere on FB and I had the next day off so I figured fuck it maybe I’ll see some old friends since we had mutual friends back in the day. I show up and most of the people have already left and as the rest were making their way out she just kept bringing me drinks.

    Eventually the last person leaves and her roommate comes home so we head to her room. Immediately she jumps on me and starts digging into my pants. I’m pretty drunk at this point, so I wasn’t entirely capable of stopping what was happening and I was more confused than anything since before that past week I hadn’t talked to this girl in over 6 years. It kept going. It went on entirely too long, she had a few spasms so I’m guessing she orgasm’d but I 100% for sure know I didn’t and after she got up to go get another drink I sat there completely bewildered to what had just happened. When she came back she tried passing me another drink and I politely refused it and kind of just sat around until she fell asleep. Her roommate eventually came in as I was getting dressed and asked if I was leaving since she wanted to lock up and after I left I just sat in my car down the street for a few minutes trying to process everything. I’d been blackout wasted before and didn’t feel that inhibited and out of control so I suspect I may have been drugged with something, although I’ve never voluntarily taken any kind of drug so I wouldn’t know the feeling even if that was what happened. That happened a little over a year ago and she never reached out after, we’ve had no contact.

    I told my friends about it and all they could do was joke about it and ask how it was, if she was good, what her body looked like. No sympathy at all for how I was still a little shocked over the entire scenario.

  29. throwaway85474122584 March 14, 2018 / 7:02 am

    Haven’t told anyone. That’s how I dealt with it.

    I kept saying no, she kept saying yes and doing what she wanted.

  30. Intense_introvert March 14, 2018 / 7:02 am

    An ex of mine who was pretty hot and gave great head but was also crazy, once decided to take the condom off as I was close to climaxing and rode me like a rented mule. Wouldn’t get off when I asked her to, locked her legs around me (and she was pretty fit). We all know how the mechanics work. She got mad and yelled at me for “trying to get her pregnant.” Then she stopped talking to me and disappeared off the face of the earth (like many people seem to think is completely acceptable to do these days). A few months go by and she calls me, says she’s pregnant but isn’t sure who the father is. I said its time for paternity tests to determine who that may be. She objected and then said that she needed money to get her car fixed. I told her to call me back when she figured out who the father was. Never heard from her until after she gave birth and admitted that the father wasn’t me. I don’t have any ill-will towards her; that guy is a loser and her life is going to be a struggle. It’s too bad she decided to bring a child in to this world and continue the cycle. It was pretty clear after it was all over that she was trying to shake me down for money and had planned it all out. Undoubtedly got pregnant from the other guy while pretending to have a serious relationship with me.

    I told a few friends about it, most were indifferent. Female friends said that it was shitty and terrible. Mentioned it to a nurse during a routine visit and she said its abuse. I’m glad to see that society is taking it more seriously.

  31. caffeinefreedietcock March 14, 2018 / 7:02 am

    I wasn’t raped, but I was sexually assaulted by an ex-girlfriend. After we broke up she convinced me to go out one last time for closure. I agreed because I did always have deep feelings for her, it didn’t work for other reasons.

    So we go out, it’s going well but I can tell that she has an agenda to get me back. I tried to ignore it and get through dinner. I gave her a ride home, but before we could leave the parking garage she was on top of me. I made no reciprocation because I felt bad for her, but she just kept kissing me, grabbing me and I just sat there. She got mad, I drove her home. Same thing when we got there. She begged me to come up, I stood my ground. And that was that, at least I thought.

    Then she contacted my sister who I was close to. She decided to become best friends with my sis. My sister told me, I was kind of blindsided because they had only met a handful of times. I had told my sister about the assault (I still felt guilty about calling it assault) and she asked me if I was ok being friends with her. I said we’re all adults but also asked her how she’d feel if I became friends with someone who sexually assaulted her after the assault. She’s a very progressive woman, Feminist who doesn’t put up with shit so I was pretty shocked when she decided to go with the friendship. That was almost 4 years ago, my relationship with my sister has never been the same, but they’re still friends.

  32. Period-Chopsticks March 14, 2018 / 7:02 am

    I’ve been sexually assaulted four times by four different women throughout my life. (Before I came out as gay) I’m a pretty scrawny guy with a baby face so I suppose it’s easy to take advantage?
    The probably worst/most recent one was my sophomore year of college (I was 18) with a girl like twice my size from the next school over. We met playing Pokémon go and we were just gonna hang out and play a little. It was a cold day so I let her come into my room to warm up before she went home. I made it clear in the beginning I didn’t want anything physical, just wanted to be friends. She kept guilt tripping me into a kiss, which I very reluctantly gave, but she kept wanting more. I won’t go into details for my own mental health but it ended up with her using her whole weight to hold me down and do whatever she wanted with me for about 15-20 minutes. It was violent and I had cuts and bruises and long master trauma to this day.

    I never came forward and told anyone except my now (amazing, loving) boyfriend. I knew there was no point. She graduated and moved like a state away, and around here guy just “don’t get raped”. It would be seen as a lie or a way for me to get attention/get her into trouble (she was well liked in her program). So I never bothered and I never will.

    It’s something I just have to live with. It’s been a little over a year and I still have some issues being touched sexually, and I likely always will. But I’m trying.

  33. ThrowAwayAndCambria March 14, 2018 / 7:02 am

    Throwaway. Posted this once before, but here it is:

    I was eighteen and seeing a very attractive girl. I was a virgin but she wasn’t, and we had sex pretty quickly into the relationship.

    As a side note, I should mention that a friend very close to me had been raped by a guy a year earlier and got a STD from it. It was horrible.

    So even though my girlfriend said she was clean, and she was on the pill, I still wanted to wear a condom. She didn’t care for condoms. A few times she suggested I not wear one, but I did anyway.

    One day we’re together and things get hot and heavy. She asks if I want to have sex, I say yes, and she says only if there’s no condom. So I go home with blue balls.

    This happens the next two days in a row. We hang out, fool around, and then she says she won’t fuck me unless it’s bare, and then I leave.

    The fourth day we don’t hang out, I don’t remember why, but the fifth day we do and she asks me if I want to get high. I say sure. Weed was as new for me as sex was. She packs a bowl, and hands it to me. I smoke it, cough, hand it back. She doesn’t actually smoke it herself, she waits a few seconds and then gives it back. And this just keeps going, where I smoke and cough and she pretends to light up. The bowl ends and she packs another. This one the same thing.

    At some point I’m just lying down. If you’ve ever been so high you physically don’t feel like you can move, that was me. My body was too heavy to sit up, that type of shit. Keep in mind, I had maybe smoked 3-4 times before this, so it’s not like I had any sort of tolerance or even a good baseline for when to stop or what was too much. I was with someone I trusted, and that probably contributed to why I kept going.

    So I’m lying on my back and I feel like I can’t move at all. I realize my dick is out and she’s blowing me. It felt like I blinked and then she was trying to straddle me, but it was probably longer than that. I remember her with her swimsuit bottoms off and I distinctly remember no condom on my dick. I try to say not without a condom, but condom was the only word that really came out. She ignored me. I tried to push her off me and said no a few times, but she swatted my hands away and pushed my wrists down. I was so high that it was hard enough to point, let alone fight someone off. So my resistance was physically pretty feeble.

    I don’t think it lasted long, but I don’t remember. Afterward she played on her phone near me until I was sober enough to go to her car, I think. I remember being in her car when I kind of became more self-aware.

    We didn’t break up over it. We had a minor chat the next day about how it wasn’t cool that she fucked me when she knew I wanted us to use condoms, but she said she was high too and it just happened. We always used condoms again. A few weeks later she let slip that she hadn’t smoked in over a month, but it was several years before I connected the dots and realized she’d lied to me about being too stoned to use a condom.

    We broke up a few months later for unrelated reasons. A few months after that she was pregnant with another guy’s baby.

    That’s my story. I don’t usually tell it because it comes off as very cavalier, because in all honestly I don’t feel “violated.” I know I should, but I never saw it that way. I’ve had people tell me it doesn’t count as rape or sexual assault because men can’t be raped. I’ve also had people laugh and say they wished it could happen to them. Between those reactions and the fact that it didn’t have a big emotional impact on me it’s just become a quiet part of my history that I rarely think about or share.

  34. getittothegarage March 14, 2018 / 7:02 am

    It was about 2010. I just moved back to my dad’s house in a different state than my fiance. I went out that way to look for work because where we were living there was basically nothing to do because it wasn’t tourist season and I wasn’t a lawyer.

    The long and short of it leading up to the incident was my fiance cheated on me with a much older man and dropped me in a very cold manner.

    I was extremely upset and took to whatever the biggest bottle of Jagermeister they make. I drank all of the mixers that we had with it and eventually started mixing various juices and sodas that I had lying around just so that I can continue drinking.

    There was a girl who I knew that was going to college nearby. I honestly can’t remember her name anymore. She insisted that she come over with a few Smirnoff drinks and hang out for a little while since I was so depressed.

    She shows up and we are up drinking for another few hours until about 3 a.m. When I decide I need to go to bed.

    I made it very clear to her before I went to my bedroom that I am not in a state where I can turn her away if she tries anything. And I don’t want to have sex. I knew that I was an emotional wreck and couldn’t really control myself or say no so I asked her (who was sober still) to not initiate anything.

    I don’t know how much later, but she came into my room and climbed on top of me completely naked. Well. You can guess what happened at this point.

    The following day I woke up and remembered what happened. I found her lying naked next to me and my genitals were obviously sticky from intercourse.

    I freaked out and yelled at her to leave. At which point in time she gave me a speech about how she knew it would help me and I didn’t say no and was a willing participant once she was naked in front of me.

    Then she went on to say if I tried to call the cops she would just say I raped her.

    After that I never heard from her again.

    I was a little suicidal from the ex fiance thing already and stared down a bottle of painkillers for about a week when I finally flushed them and ingested something besides my strict Pepto bismol and water diet that I had been able to stomach.

    I am still numb to that incident and never saw anyone for help in regards to it. I’m very well adjusted now.

    I know it was raped but I feel like it was my fault for letting it happen. And I feel like nobody would have believed me anyways.

    The one person I told about it said if my dick got hard then I obviously wanted it. So I moved on and never properly addressed it again

  35. toss00away March 14, 2018 / 7:02 am

    I was raped in my bed after my birthday party a few years ago. I was in my mid-30s. I won’t get into the details, but I was drunk and woke up to my ex-girlfriend lowering herself down onto me. She slapped me in the face when I said no. I remember thinking that I could overpower her, but if I hit her and she called the cops and accused me of rape, they’d believe her over me and I’d go to jail. So I just let it happen, because I didn’t want my kid to grow up without a father.

    I told one person, a girlfriend a couple years later. She seemed understanding at the time, but when we broke up, she threw it back in my face that maybe I should go have a relationship with my rapist instead.

    I don’t think about it much, but I don’t drink as much as I used to. Even in my own house. My roommates don’t even know that it happened.

  36. PaulGeyser March 14, 2018 / 7:02 am

    I had a job at a restaurant through the ages of 15 and 16. The manager/head waitress was the boss’ daughter, who was only like 25 but that seemed old to a 15yr old. She’d always book me in for closes and ask sexual questions that got progressively more, I dunno what the word is, serious I guess?

    “Do you have a girlfriend?”

    “Are kids your age having sex? Because when I was your age it was all sex sex sex sex”
    I dunno.

    “Have you ever gotten head before?”

    “Have you ever eaten a girl out before?”

    “Wouldn’t it be great if you had someone to practise on so you’d know what you were doing when you had to?”

    And that was basically the whole lead-up. I’d work closes on Fridays and Saturdays and every time we’d do close then go in the back and I’d eat sweaty waitress box and she’d suck sweaty 15 year old busboy dick.

    I didn’t even know it counted as rape until a few years ago. The thing is, if I tell the story as though it’s no big deal people will *tell* me that it was rape and I should take it more seriously. But if I tell it as a rape story, people will act like it’s no big deal. Weird, right?

    Edit: I feel like this will turn people against me, but I feel like it’s important for me to say that now, 15 years later, I still don’t *feel* victimized, and don’t necessarily look back on it negatively. I am certain that this experience shaped a lot of my later sexual feelings though, so it did impact me significantly.

  37. aethyrium March 14, 2018 / 7:02 am

    Not using a throwaway because this is an important stigma that needs to die already.

    Back when I was 18 me and some friends went and partied at a friend of a friend’s place, she was an older woman in her mid-30’s (‘older’ when you’re 18 at least). She wasn’t that attractive, I had a gf already and she was _not_ the type I’d ever have relations with physically or mentally, but she seemed cool enough and immediately started feeding me drinks and gettin’ me all hyped to party. I spend the first 17 years of my life being a typical “good kid” before entering a rebellious “fuck you mom” phase so I had only drank a few times before, and was pretty hyped already to get drunk and let loose.

    I started loosing track of everything pretty quick, and things turned into a weird slide show. Was hanging out listening to music, now all the sudden she’s shoving her tongue down my throat, now I’m sitting against a wall while one of my friends is talking to her (clearly about me), now I’m in her room all nekkid while she’s doing things and telling me to do things while I’m feeling confused as fuck to even what’s happening, now I’m spending 5 hours the next day dry-heaving w/ near alcohol poisoning.

    Worst thing is that no one looked at what was going on and thought, “hey, that’s clearly an older woman taking advantage of that drunk kid,” and while the situation was clearly uncomfortable, it was awhile before I really reconciled with the fact that it was rape. Mostly because this was around ’99 and “guys don’t get raped” and social stigmas were a lot stronger back then.

    I never really felt _too_ traumatized, but it did have some lasting negative effects. I was in a relationship at the time and I thought I cheated on her since I didn’t quite understand what was going on and I broke it off, and that kinda spun me into a pretty dark place for awhile.

    Things are great now, but I still get kinda triggered when people talk about sexual assault and rape like it’s a full-on man vs. woman thing and that “men are rapists” and the fact that people like myself are rarely taken seriously, or even when we are, it’s with this weird tone of “well, at least you’re not a woman”. Outside of threads like this, it’s kinda hard to talk about how it’s an issue without people being like “fuck you alt right MRA sexist bigot” which is pretty lame as well. Been banned from a subreddit before because I shared my experience as a rape victim in a thread about how men are rapists and rape is purely a gendered crime in an attempt to help lift the stigma and share a different view. They said I was trolling.

  38. Seattleguy28 March 14, 2018 / 7:02 am

    Ex girlfriend got me drunk when I was super depressed and didn’t want to have sex. I don’t remember happening exactly, but I remember feeling extremely violated. Woke up with dried cum on me and asked what happened, she tells me that she decided to fuck me so she could get off. Weird thing was is that I wasn’t mad, but felt like a power dynamic was off. Really weird feeling, we somehow decided it was only fair if she gets really drunk and I fuck her when she’s passed out. Turns out I’m super into that, so now I feel weird and I’m a piece of shit. And yes it was a super volatile relationship when I was in my early 20’s.

    Only told you guys.

  39. TheArrogantMetalhead March 14, 2018 / 7:02 am

    I’ve told about my story but at one point, I talked about it to someone I was seeing and she dismissed it saying that as a feminist, she can’t believe I would tell that story.

    I died a little inside when that happened.

  40. chicomaster819 March 14, 2018 / 7:02 am

    Well… I don’t think it counts (or should count), because I wanted it to happen… But techincally, where i’m from, sex or any sexual plays with people below 14 y.o. is considered raping a vunerable even if the kid consent… but anyway…

    I was 11/12 and the lady taking care of my little brother was around 28 or something… The 3 of us were kinda playing something like peek a boo or fighting under some blankets (my brother is 7 years younger) and anyway… at some point I was hard, my brother went away and she asked if I also wanted some kiss and then it started and lasted for around 4 years?

    Edit: I feel weird about this story, since I had some anger towards her for other reasons, but I don’t think it counts as rape, even tho according to brazilian laws it does :p

    Edit 2: Forgot about the telling part… I told friends the facts and we all laughed together, but I never told that I don’t know exactly my confusion about what happened (like why I did that if I actually hated her)… Also some time later I told my gf about it and she got disgusted about the baby sitter and demanded me to be the same way… said stuff like “she’s a criminal, she’s disgusting… you were too young… what if it was to your brother?” and I get pissed with the idea of being my brother, but I don’t feel anything about being about myself… She used to say that I always saw myself too much responsible for everything and also felt too much as a grown up even when I was a child (parents divorced when my brother was a baby and I used to hide him from their fights, from my father’s violence, besides stading in favor of their divorce to any of my family members also by saying it out loud and kinda cared for my brother as If I was the one that had to be the exemple to him, since my father sucked as a husband and was quite absent…)

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