TIFU by accidentally committing theft as a Police Officer in full uniform.

Poilce don’t seem super well liked on reddit but what the hell. This happened a few weeks ago.

I woke up one morning at 5:00 A.M. tired as fuck. I put my uniform, checked my gear, kissed my sleeping wife, and slowly walked to my patrol car parked in front of my apartment building, probably looking like a stereotypical zombie in a police uniform that you might see on TV or in a video game.

I started my normal routine: Got in the car, turned on the radar, checked on duty, and started playing music from the best “prepare for a police shift” album of all time: “The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim OST”. Now for my 15 minute commute to the city.

My vehicle was getting low on gas so I stopped at my favorite gas station to fill up, and went inside for my daily breakfast burrito. I went in, put my Sausage, Egg, and Cheese burrito in a paper tray, and grabbed all the needed hot sauces. Then I grabbed a cup and filled it with water, just like I do as the beginning of every shift. After this, still in zombie mode, and went back to my patrol vehicle with the goodies and continued on with my day.

At about noon, I get a call from my Sergeant, who simply said “I need to talk to you at the department.”

Oblivious as to why he would need to talk to me, I began heading to the police department. Millions of thoughts rushed through my head, all wondering what he would want to discuss with me. Upon my arrival, I was directed to my Lieutenant’s office. When I walked in, I heard a stern, “Close the door”. At this point I knew this wasn’t good. I sat down, disturbed as fuck, being stared down by my Corporal. Sergeant, and Lieutenant.

After a preface from my Sergeant, he says, “Tell me everything that happened this morning, especially at the gas station.

I didn’t say anything, just sat there and thought about it again. “Aaawww…….shit. I forgot to pay for my burrito.” Then I just heard “Guess what, that’s theft.”

After a “Come to Jesus” moment with my superiors, I left, went straight to the gas station, and paid for my burrito. They didn’t want to press charges.

Although nothing really came of this incident, the shitty part of this is I can’t go back and fix what that looked like to the other customers. All they saw was what looked like an entitled cop not paying for a burrito.

On a lighter tone, Now other officers have nicknamed me “The Burrito Burglar” and jokingly ask for tips on how to steal stuff when I see them.

Tl;dr: I’m a police officer. Walked into a gas station I go into every morning and, being in “autopilot” mode, I walked out with the same burrito I get every morning, and forgot to pay for it.

View Reddit by MaverickF14View Source

24 thoughts on “TIFU by accidentally committing theft as a Police Officer in full uniform.

  1. baddoggg March 14, 2018 / 11:01 pm

    The look on your face when you remembered the burrito must have been priceless.

  2. AriaNocturne March 14, 2018 / 11:01 pm

    “The Burrito Bandito” sounds cooler.

  3. poorhomiezzar March 14, 2018 / 11:01 pm

    All they had to do was say, “hello sir, did you forget to pay?”

  4. KSP925 March 14, 2018 / 11:01 pm

    Got one similar to this. When I first became a police officer years ago, in a small city, my training officer drove me around. He pointed out all the areas I’d need to watch out for. Typical first day stuff. Then we went into a convenience store where he grabbed a map off the counter and handed it to me and we walked out. Later in the day I saw a price tag on the map. I felt really awkward telling my training officer about it. He got red faced, drove back to the store, apologized and paid for the map. Apparently he thought the maps were free.

    On a side note, most gas stations give me free coffee. I appreciate it. I always expect to pay though and always go to the counter to pay. I don’t want to be that guy that shoplifts a coffee.

  5. Csukar March 14, 2018 / 11:01 pm

    “I used to be a police officer like you, but then I took a burrito for free”

    Edit: first gold and I get two, thank you kind strangers 😯

  6. mrbkkt1 March 14, 2018 / 11:01 pm

    Grand Theft burrito…. What a day to be alive.

  7. crookedsmoker March 14, 2018 / 11:01 pm

    Surely, nobody actually thought you did that on purpose right? I mean, who steals 1 burrito, in plain sight, in his police uniform, at his favorite gas station?

    Since you’re a regular at that gas station, did the employees there know your face? If I worked there and knew you were a regular, I probably wouldn’t have taken action and just had a talk at your next visit.

  8. NotWhatYouPlanted March 14, 2018 / 11:01 pm

    When I lived in Brooklyn, there was a Rite Aid right off the train by my house. One night, after a realllly long day at work, I popped in for a single-serve Digiorno pizza (those little microwave ones), because fuck cooking dinner that night. This was something I did regularly after hard days. I debated buying some candy or something for a while as well, but finally talked myself out of it and went on my way.

    I got halfway home (two avenues or so) before it occurred to me that it was weird that they didn’t give me a bag for the pizza. I was just holding the cold box in my hand. I tried to remember why that would have happened and then it hit me—I didn’t pay. I just walked my happy ass out of the store with the pizza without even thinking.

    I just stopped on the sidewalk and stood there for a second in disbelief and then finally, super exhausted and very grumpy with myself, I did a 180 and went all the way back and paid. My husband still teases me for going back, but (aside from the fact that stealing is wrong blah blah blah) I shopped there nearly daily and I didn’t want to lose that privilege by being an idiot.

    In other words, it’s not just you, man. Best wishes!

  9. Jeffb957 March 14, 2018 / 11:01 pm

    Got to reply to this with a story. I was also in zombie mode. Went to gas station. (This was long ago, before “pay before you pump.” ) Had a $20 in my pocket for gas. Put the nozzle in the tank and got it running. Fell asleep standing up leaning on the car. The nozzle clicking off woke me up. Gas pump said $20.26.

    Went inside, apologized for zoning out. Told gas dude that I was late for work, and would bring him 26 cents after I got off. Dude lost his shit, and said I was going to pay him now, or he was calling the cops.

    I grabbed a notebook that was on the counter, scribbled a note in big letters. Then I held my drivers license up about a foot from the security camera, held up the $20, then handed it to gas boy, then held up my note that said “I will bring this giant asshole 26 cents at 4 pm. Have a nice day.” Then I went to work. He was calling the cops as I left.
    Took the asshole .26 after work. Cops never came and spoke to me.

  10. JohnV199 March 14, 2018 / 11:01 pm

    Nothing like some good Skyrim music to get you in the zone to go enforce the law.

  11. DarthRumbleBuns March 14, 2018 / 11:01 pm

    Did this like 3 days ago with some breakfast pizza and a coffee. Fortunettly I’ve been in there every morning for like a year so the next day the manager charged me double and told me why. Still embarrassing though.

  12. Dr_Roctopus March 14, 2018 / 11:01 pm

    Going back there and paying for the stolen borrito would be so embarrassing. I once unknowingly had my card declined while getting drinks but the cashier didn’t catch it, the next day getting 2 more drinks they call me out and make me feel like shit for the mistake. I payed for those and the current ones and never shopped there again because of that.

  13. 0ut0fBoundsException March 14, 2018 / 11:01 pm

    I forgot to pay at a pizza place I go to all the time. Owner called the cops and they found me like 15 minutes later at my girlfriends house. No idea how they found me there, but then I went back and apologized and paid

  14. dansdata March 14, 2018 / 11:01 pm

    > jokingly ask for tips on how to steal stuff

    Keep tabs on the fellow officers who *don’t*.

  15. crouton976 March 14, 2018 / 11:01 pm

    Your department should really use this as a training aid for other officers. Yes, LEOs are supposed to enforce the law, but should also use their own discretion and discernment in situations where, technically, the letter of the law was violated. In this case, your superiors as well as the gas station owners used theirs by not having you locked up. It just goes to show that everyone, including those who have sworn to uphold the law, sometimes unintentionally break it, and should be cut a little slack.

    On another note, don’t worry about it too much, OP… we’ve all had our (sleep) walking dead moments.

  16. Gray_Upsilon March 14, 2018 / 11:01 pm

    Stop right there, criminal scum. You violated the law. Pay the court a fine or serve your sentence. Your stolen burrito is now forfeit.

  17. Bluryn March 14, 2018 / 11:01 pm

    I have done this exact thing at a gas station mid shift one night recently. Someone engaged me in conversation while I was at the register and I straight up just never handed the clerk my money. Grabbed my monster drink and cigs, and headed out the door to my patrol car. Luckily, I frequent this gas station a lot and the clerk came to the door yelling for me to get back and pay for my crap. I was like Holy Shit, how did that just happen… I knew she knew I didn’t do it on purpose and even if I had drove away, I was guaranteed to be back by next shift or two but damn, embarrassing.

    Pretty much every gas station in my city gives officers free coffee and fountain drinks, but to this day I can’t make myself just walk out the door with it. I *always* buy something else little like some beef jerky and if they charge me for the coffee so be it, but they never do. I know its free because they want our presence there for safety and crime deterrent but 8 years and free 500 coffees later, I still can’t bring myself to just walk out with it.

  18. CallMeGilligan March 14, 2018 / 11:01 pm

    Where I live, cops in uniform used to get free Whataburger meals. All that was required was the officer be on duty and in uniform, and he or she could order the meal of their choice. It got to the point that it was being abused so often by officers ordering 5-10 meals to go (taking them home for their families), going to multiple Whataburgers during the day and ordering huge meals, and then there was a big blow-up over “what is a a police officer” when local school district police, METRO transportation police, constables, jail workers, sheriff’s office workers, and uniformed private security workers demanded the same free meals. I think they had to end the entire deal.

    Glad to hear that you actually went back and paid for your burrito. Cops in my neighborhood get free dry cleaning, free coffee, and free lunches lots of places – even had a guy at my family’s bookstore demanding a percentage off a paperback book because he is “a peace officer”.

  19. RoadHustler March 14, 2018 / 11:01 pm

    That sucks so bad, as they gonna forgive you? I don’t think I could go on if my favorite burrito spot hated me. As for the nickname all the best ones are slightly embarrassing.

  20. razorbackgeek March 14, 2018 / 11:01 pm

    My brother use to be an assistant chief of police, one time he locked his keys in his patrol car after he pulled someone over. The dude got out of his ticket by giving my brother a ride back to the station.

  21. SquadPoopy March 14, 2018 / 11:01 pm

    At least you didn’t fuck a couch.

  22. Diedead666 March 14, 2018 / 11:01 pm

    At least now you have a clever nickname

Leave a Reply