57 thoughts on “What is something you should not say to a depressed person?

  1. Mad_Squid March 14, 2018 / 10:26 am

    “How can you be depressed when so many people have it so much worse than you.”

    Well then how the fuck are you happy when so many people have it better than you.

  2. sarcastic__douchebag March 14, 2018 / 10:26 am

    “I’m not motivated to do anything.”

    “Well just get some motivation then!”

  3. KoldGlaze March 14, 2018 / 10:26 am

    “Why don’t you just smile more?”

    “Why don’t you just try to be happy for once?”

    “You know, you decide your attitude.”

  4. Wavesignal March 14, 2018 / 10:26 am

    “There are worse things happening to better people.”

    This statement might come off as very insensitive and it doesn’t justify that pain that they are going through. Unfortunately, I had to learn this lesson the hard way. I guess this is what happens when you don’t think before you speak.

  5. Kay_Elle March 14, 2018 / 10:26 am

    “You’re not depressed. Just go for a walk, you’ll feel better”

    Look, I’m a naturally outdoorsy person. Trust me, even if I’m depressed I can (and do) walk or two hours and still feel depressed.

    Only now I’m also physically tired on top of mentally tired.

  6. Knives4Bullets March 14, 2018 / 10:26 am

    “I’ve got it so much harder than you! You have nothing to worry about!”

    Depression doesn’t exactly come knocking on your door on Monday afternoon, “Hello, I noticed your life is hard so I’ll come to visit.” No. It can hit anyone.

  7. tinyahjumma March 14, 2018 / 10:26 am

    “I think the reason you are depressed is because you are not living God’s plan for you.”

    —actual quote

  8. BenjewminUnofficial March 14, 2018 / 10:26 am

    “Depression? Isn’t that just a fancy word for feeling “bummed out”?”

  9. jaywiak March 14, 2018 / 10:26 am

    “Don’t be so dramatic”. I’ve heard that after telling someone I was depressed and it just causes me to shut myself in and it gets worse.

  10. jeanibeani March 14, 2018 / 10:26 am

    What my mother said to me: WhAt thE hELL ARe YoU DEPRESSED AbOut??!?

  11. 410cs March 14, 2018 / 10:26 am

    “Cheer up”

  12. BeautifulRebellion March 14, 2018 / 10:26 am

    “Maybe if you weren’t in your room and on your phone all the time you wouldn’t be depressed.”

  13. jewzak March 14, 2018 / 10:26 am

    Honestly, asking them how they are doing all the time can be really detrimental. Obviously everyone is different, but I have close friends that have struggled with depression, and they already feel like a burden. If every conversation you have with them is asking how they’re doing, it can definitely make things worse. What I’ve started to do is just send a reminder every once in a while – “I’m here for you always, whenever you need to talk. You are never a burden.”

  14. l_am_very_sMaRt March 14, 2018 / 10:26 am

    “Cmon, just do it, just like… stop being depressed and stuff. It’s easy see, I do it all the time!”

  15. k8o March 14, 2018 / 10:26 am

    These have all been said to me:

    * Snap out of it/suck it up
    * Life isn’t always fair
    * There are people worse than you
    * Have you tried exercising/hobby/meditation
    * Depression is a state of mind, try being happy
    * What do you have to be depressed about
    * I know exactly how you feel, I was depressed for a couple days last week
    * Shouldn’t you be over that by now.
    * I wish I could be there for you but you are just so sad
    * Just smile more and you’ll feel better
    * Have you tried praying/you should talk to god
    * You just need to get out there, shake it off
    * Stop feeling sorry for yourself
    * Depression is not real, its just a selfish, me-me mentality
    * Are you going to go psycho and hurt people?

  16. faeyt March 14, 2018 / 10:26 am

    “everyone has their rough days” boy I’ve had a rough life, if all it took were motivational quotes and “staying positive” then therapists wouldn’t exist

  17. Lebagel March 14, 2018 / 10:26 am

    Hell, what SHOULD you say to a depressed person? I feel well versed in not telling them to get over it, or just be happy or any of those other obvious things I would never say to a depressed person.

  18. utstudent4trump March 14, 2018 / 10:26 am

    “There’s a spider on your head”. It’s just rude if they don’t actually have a spider on their head. They’ll look all silly while freaking out.

  19. shihonad March 14, 2018 / 10:26 am

    “but… you don’t look depressed!”

  20. CherylTuntIRL March 14, 2018 / 10:26 am

    I have a fuckton of opiates if you want to do a double suicide.

  21. SuspiciousShoe March 14, 2018 / 10:26 am

    “You can cure your depression with these vitamins and supplements I’ll sell you.”

  22. thehonestyfish March 14, 2018 / 10:26 am

    “You know what would make you feel better, hun? Essential oils. You happen to be in luck, too, because I happen to have an amazing offer for you. Would you like to be your own boss and make money from home? 👋❤️❤️🎈💰 Let me know!”

  23. pulsefirepikachu March 14, 2018 / 10:26 am

    Yelling at the person during episodes of depression in general.

    So I was having this particularly bad rough patch with my SO and we were arguing. A lot of shit was happening to me at the time and the fight kind of triggered my depression and suicidal thoughts. I kind of left without saying anything to her (we were texting, not in person). I was trying to relax and not think about all my issues when our mutual friend pulls up and starts yelling at me to get in the car. I refuse because it helps me to get my thoughts together when I just walk aimlessly for awhile. She continues yelling and following me with her car. I get in the car and it’s a 15 minute ride home with her yelling at me the entire time about how this was impacting my SO. Made it significantly worse. Moral of the story: Don’t have shit friends. Don’t yell at people when they’re depressed.

  24. Liar_tuck March 14, 2018 / 10:26 am

    Have you tried just being happy/meditation/going for a walk etc etc. Depression is a serious mental health issue and such comments only show you don’t care enough to take it seriously. Which is ultimately counter productive to helping them.

  25. SandyDFS March 14, 2018 / 10:26 am

    “It’s not that bad.”

    Thanks for telling me what’s going on in my head.

  26. PrethorynSwarm March 14, 2018 / 10:26 am

    Any sentence starting with the word ‘just’

    ‘just eat more healthy’

    ‘just go out more’

    ‘just hang out with your friends more often’

  27. JeF4y March 14, 2018 / 10:26 am

    “you think you’ve got it bad?!?”

    “What do you have to be depressed about?”

    “Oh you’ll get over it”

  28. NovaNerdgasm March 14, 2018 / 10:26 am

    I have bipolar disorder. After my diagnosis, buddy of mine was like “oh that’s not serious, it’s just mood swings….”


  29. _Volx March 14, 2018 / 10:26 am

    “You’re fat and have no friends.” – Thanks I knew that already…

  30. Berlin_Blues March 14, 2018 / 10:26 am

    When I wanted to turn my life around and starting doing the right things, but was convinced (turned out later I was right) that depression was holding me back I spoke to my doctor (DOCTOR PHD in Medicine!!) about her opinion of seeing a psychiatrist and possibly getting meds to end the de-motivation she said, basically, “just started working out and that will cure your depression”. Worst answer ever from a medical professional.

  31. VincentKenway March 14, 2018 / 10:26 am

    “If you’re depressed, then jump off a cliff! Or do a car crash! If you complain you’re sad, why not end your life sooner?!”

    I get these throughout the entire middle school and high school, and it clung onto me like some sticky gum. It immediately turned my view of the world into a bleak one.

  32. june606 March 14, 2018 / 10:26 am

    ‘there have been times in my life when I’ve felt depressed, and you know what? I pulled myself together and got over it’

    Congratulations whomever you are. I can’t resent the fact your life improved but I do wonder whether you really understand clinical depression.

    For me it’s partly about sadness and low mood, but when you think of the word ‘depression’ it also has more meanings than emotional ones. For example a ‘depression in the earth’s surface’, or a meteorological term.

    This can perhaps be helpful in understanding that depression is more than feeling unhappy or upset. It can be a diagnosis of a major change to your psyche that isn’t so much diagnosed as a level of sadness, but one of the sapping of ability and motivation in your ability to undertake tasks and look after yourself.

    It is a particularly insidious mental disease in that it is like an extra pull of gravity on your mood, sucking it downward with no possible ability to resist on your part, and this snowballing into caring less and less about daily events like your job or even basic functions like maintaining personal hygiene, eating properly and difficulty sleeping.

  33. coffeeblossom March 14, 2018 / 10:26 am

    * “Stop being so negative!”

    * “You’re just not trying hard enough!”

    * “Have you tried yoga/this diet/acupuncture/essential oils/going vegan/etc?”

    * “You’re no fun to be around.”

    * “Other people have it way worse than you.”

    * “You just need to pray more/find Jesus/etc”

    * “You don’t need meds, just go outside!”

    * “You go to therapy? Weirdo.”

    * “Just be happy!”

    * “Depression is a sign of lack of gratitude/lack of faith/etc.”

    * “Just deal with it!”

    * “Get over yourself!”

  34. rayogata March 14, 2018 / 10:26 am

    “It gets better.” I’m never going to believe it gets better until it actually does, and even then I will still be skeptical. Thanks, though.

  35. StinkFingerPete March 14, 2018 / 10:26 am

    just think about the sweet release of death because no one will miss you

  36. SweetSyberia March 14, 2018 / 10:26 am

    The usual stuff. “Snap out of it”, “I know how you feel, was really bummed when I didn’t get that promotion” and “You just need to find _insert religion_” (that said, religion can potentially be a great source of support for certain people but it isn’t a cure all) .

  37. TheHumanSuitcase March 14, 2018 / 10:26 am

    I know *exactly* what you’re going through and here’s what fixed it….

    Every situation is unique and while you make offer your own experience do not assume what worked for you will work for another person. Do offer insight and support, but don’t pretend you know everything about depression no matter how much it has affected you and your life.

  38. Htimsxnhoj March 14, 2018 / 10:26 am

    “Yeah, we all have depression sometimes.”

  39. FartyMcFartsworth March 14, 2018 / 10:26 am

    “Be happy!”

    Yes, because I’m sure depressed people want to be gloomy all the time, Sharon.

  40. Jay898 March 14, 2018 / 10:26 am

    “You’re not depressed, you’re just hurting”

    I admit I was heartbroken from a breakup but i had been depressed for about a year before the breakup which led to the breakup (not her fault) but i went spiralled into a deeper and worse depression after the breakup. I spent like the next 2 years feeling like all the life had been sucked out of me, and to make matters worse, my dad and brother both agreed with eachother in front of me that I was just overreacting and only hurting and “there’s plenty more fish in the sea”. RANT

  41. crystalgecko March 14, 2018 / 10:26 am

    > It might help if you think of all the people in the world who have it worse than you, who manage to cope.

    Actually said, by a person supposedly qualified to deal with depression.

  42. McCyanide March 14, 2018 / 10:26 am

    “What do you have to be depressed about?” Depression knows no bounds and takes no prisoners. It has no concept of rich or poor, fit or fat, or anything else.

  43. PertinentPuppet March 14, 2018 / 10:26 am

    Have you tired yoga??

    Me and a friend were getting really angry about this – whilst yoga can be helpful its not a replacement for proper treatment and is by no means a “quick fix”

    So no you can shove your yoga up your ass KAREN

  44. AeroUp March 14, 2018 / 10:26 am

    “Just get over it already”.

  45. Ramsden_12 March 14, 2018 / 10:26 am

    I went through a period of depression a few years back. Suddenly I had no energy and no desire to do anything. I stopped cooking, cleaning, walking and generally taking care of myself.

    I started eating a lot of takeaway and junk food. Now through that time I was operating in a sort of emotionless, numb state, mechanically going from a to b, skipping a lot of work because I couldn’t get out of bed. But the one highlight for me was food. I could order a pizza and have some feelings/focus if only for an hour. I lived for food during those periods.

    Needless to say I gained quite a lot of weight – about 30lbs. Most people I knew (especially my mother and my then boyfriend) kept commenting on my weight gain and coming up with nasty comments about that and no one once asked me if I was feeling alright. It made the problem so much worse. Suddenly my crutch had been taken away because I now felt guilt over eating. I would still order pizza, but eat it whilst weeping.

    TL;DR don’t mention that a depressed person is gaining weight.

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