93 thoughts on “What is the funniest thing you’ve ever seen in real life?

  1. wildescrawl March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    When I was 9 my brother was 10. We had gone out for the day with my mom, one of her friends, and her friend’s two sons who were 12 and 13. At this park, all four of us boys went in to use the bathroom. There were four urinals so we lined up and started peeing. One of the other guys lost control or something and peed on my brother’s foot. He was wearing flip flops so all of a sudden he felt warm liquid on his foot. He jumped back screaming, “Dave, you’re peeing on me!” As he tried to move out of the line of fire he slipped and fell. As he hit the floor he peed all over himself. I’ll never forget the visual of my poor brother, pants down, flopping around on the wet bathroom floor, peeing on himself while our friend peed on his foot.

    He stunk so bad after that my mom made him take all his clothes off and wash up in the sink then he wrapped a towel around himself and wore only a towel for the next couple of hours until we got home.

  2. Tazinbar March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    A grown man sprinting down the sidewalk, clutching his ass, and screaming “OUT OF MY WAY, COMING THROUGH!!!”

  3. Terriere March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    I gave my niece (3) her very first ‘magic baby bottle’ to feed her baby doll. You know, the kind where the milk disappears when you turn the bottle upside down. I handed it to her and grandma and I looked on smiling as she tucked her baby into its crib and stuck the bottle against its lips to feed it.

    And then she dropped the bottle, wide eyed, and gasped…then screamed at the top of her lungs and ran crying to her grandmother sputtering that the baby was _alive._ It took a long time to calm her while we tried our very hardest (and failed miserably) not to laugh while we showed her that it was just a fun toy.

    Nothing we could do could stop the terror though. She won’t play with the magic bottle or her baby doll anymore.

  4. Good_Will_Cunting March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    Copying my story from another thread:

    >One of the funniest things I’ve ever seen in person was a little kid run full speed into the trash can attached to a busser’s cart. Kid was running full speed, looking back over his shoulder and screaming while carrying a double handful of mints he had snatched from the bowl by the register. He hit that trashcan with a resounding *THUNK* and 20 something mints scattered everywhere like he was some kinda snot-nosed piñata. Fell flat on his ass and started crying at which point his parents finally took notice.

    >I was laughing so hard I was crying too.
    tl;dr: kid did a sonic impression but with mints instead of rings

  5. MetropolisPt31 March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    My first job was at an arcade in a waterpark. In front of the arcade was a walkway dotted with tiny puddles and on a very slow day, my coworker and I were staring out into the abyss and chatting mindlessly when we spotted two other employees walking past the arcade. One of the employees jumped into one of the tiny puddles, trying to splash the other employee. Suddenly, the guy’s feet were above his shoulders and he crashed to the earth, making a sound like a horse carcass thrown from a plane.

    My knees gave out and I almost passed out from laughing so goddamn hard.

  6. bluecollarclassicist March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    My dad and his brothers are known for grabbing food/drink and taking a bite/sip before knowing what the comestible is or to whom it belongs. Imagine 3 grown men who are as food motivated as puppies. I’ve seen the oldest Uncle take a giant spoonful of bearnaise sauce at a fancy wedding thinking it was soup and my other uncle put caviar on his slice of cake at the same event thinking it was jam. The older uncle once raided our freezer and served himself a bowl of rendered, frozen turkey fat on the day after thanksgiving thinking it was ice cream. My personal favorite was the time my mom was getting their waterbed treated (it was the early 90s) and my dad took a gulp of the sample cup that was on the nightstand and had to get his stomach pumped.

  7. thebigread March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    Me and my brother were once sat up really late drinking in the street in an Italian town when someone nearby rolled their scooter/rickshaw thingy. He flipped his bike back over, dusted himself off, and in the most stereotypical way said ‘mumma-mia’, and set off as if it were nothing.

  8. itllallbeogresoon March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    My mom was seriously pissed off at me one time while we were in the car. She was yelling and questioning me about whatever I did, it was midday so the sun was strong so she put on sunglasses. She asked me a question and looked over at me and when I looked back at her all I could do was laugh, her sunglasses were missing a lens so she had one eye covered and the other out. My mom was furious and I couldn’t manage to stop laughing to tell her WHY I was laughing. Until I did and when she checked she started laughing too, it completely changed the mood which was very serious before.

    One of the funniest things I’ve ever dealt with.

  9. 1-800-CAN-U-NOT March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    A wild turkey falling out of a tree. It sort of did this gobble-scream as it fell and then bounced when it hit the ground.

  10. unholybanana17 March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    Was at church with my family (parents made me and my sister go) and there was a point when we were all meant to be silently praying, well at that time a mother walked in with her daughter (maybe 3 years old) and she was guiding her down the isle with a hand on her head. They came to the pew in front of me and the mom led her daughter’s head right into the side of the bench. It made a loud thump, and the girl had such a confused face for a solid 10 seconds. She didn’t cry, and i don’t even think the mom noticed.

    Me and my sister noticed though, i had to bite my tongue hard to stop laughing and even still i couldn’t get the little girls confused face out of my head. Took all of my self control not to bust out laughing multiple times during that mass.

  11. Max-lee14 March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    I saw my coworkers dog run into a sliding glass door while holding his food bowl.

  12. collar-blind March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    Standing at a backstreet ATM with 3 or 4 friends in the middle of the night in a student city. It’s dead silent and this kid comes bounding around a corner. Myself and my friends all watch him as he runs flat into a bollard, flips into the air and lands face-first on a cobbled street. He’s laying on the floor, glasses embedded in his face and blood everywhere. We must have stood watching in shocked silence for about 15 seconds before his friend casually walks around the corner, sees him and says “Phil, what the fuck are you doing?”

  13. JSiobhan March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    Years ago I went to see a screening of the film “Beaches” on our college campus. When lights went down, everyone was horrified to see a magnified cockroach, laying on its back, projected on the screen at the start of the film.. What made it hilarious was roaches wiggling its legs to the tune of “Under the Boardwalk” (Bette Midler singing) while the film’s opening credits rolled in the background.

  14. Deepscorn March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    A long, long time ago in rural southern Denmark, I was visiting my grandmother. She had many stray cats around her property, and she cared for them all, even some hedgehogs she had made a nesting place for with some hay. I was just a child at the time. When we arrived at her place she got out and took the groceries inside, I stayed outside for a spell to get some fresh country air and stretch my legs. Then I heard some rustling in a near by hedge, only to see a black cat; that then proceeded to have the loudest and wettest diarrhea I have ever heard or seen a cat have. Not only was this felines bowels exploding in front of me, but it maintained direct eye contact with me for the entirety of the movement. My grandmother rushed out because she thought I was crying.

    TL;DR: Cat had diarrhea while staring into my soul.

  15. DerpWilson March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    I was sitting in the balcony at at end-of-the-year ballet show for kids, where they show off to their parents everything they learned. Some of it was pretty good as the ages ranged from around five to sixteen.

    For the real young kids, they had this one portion where all they did was one-by-one, enter stage from either backstage-right or backstage-left and skip to frontstage-right or frontstage-left, diagonally. With these big stupid grins on their faces. This would only be mildly funny, but this went on for probably fifty children. After about twenty of these, I couldn’t hold my laughter back, at which point all the other adults with children sitting near me caught my laughter and started laughing too, which only made my laughter worse. It was amazing.

  16. TheNarrowWizard March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    As kids we were collecting wood for a bonfire, some workmen had left a large sheet of plywood just lying in the street so obviously we decided to steal it, I picked up one end, Jimmy picked up the other, I stepped backwards, Jimmy stepped forwards. Jimmy’s foot went straight down the manhole the ply was covering, with his other foot he pretty much kicked himself in the head on the way down. For a split second we were really worried about him, then we realised that he wasn’t badly hurt and we laughed our asses off.

  17. ambiguousmurmur March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    My sister (6 year old at the time) and I were standing on the sidewalk. One of those big metal boxes for electrical stuff was right behind her.

    Suddenly she poked me, yelled “TAG YOURE IT,” tried to start running away at a sprint, turned around and *ran full tilt right into the box*

    It looked exactly like [Wile E Coyote running into a wall] (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=HEZXCJS0Aro) and I laughed so fucking hard. She was crying so i picked her up and held her but i was still laughing. People walking down the street just saw this 18 year old girl laughing her ass off while a little kid was crying in her arms.

    I still laugh about it, no one thinks its funny because they didnt see it, but it was hilarious.

  18. PythonicGenesis March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    I was having my 9th birthday party, my sister lit the candle & it set my afro on fire.

  19. Devilment1 March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    I was in Walmart near the toy section. This lil kid comes running from the next isle and runs face first into the wall. Kid is on the ground bawling.. his dad calmly walks over to him, picks him up, and says ” buddy, you can’t just go running into walls like that!” It was like it was an everyday occurrence. What made it even better was he ran into the wall right next to the bicycle helmets

  20. Uvabird March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    In high school we had an anthropology elective, and in the classroom there was this one big fellow who sat in the back, barely participating.

    The teacher brought in an assortment of ancient stone tools. Holding up the largest one, he asked, “What do you think this was used for?

    Guy in the back muttered, “Butt scraper.”

    Teacher ignored him and held up a smaller version of the first tool.

    “Class, what do you think this one is called?”

    Same student replied, “Baby butt scraper.”

  21. kallerdis March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    i went to a nightclub one day during my university days, was pretty hammered and ordered some drinks. When i headed to the dance floor a lady fell down from the balcony above and she had glass of drink in her hand and did not spill a single drop. Balcony was like 4 meters high. I am still amazed to this day that she just walked away from that like nothing happened. If i would walked couple more steps she would have landed on me.

  22. Booner999 March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    My grandpa is very impulsive. He will just blurt out whatever comes to his mind.

    His son (a fairly rich uncle of mine) took the whole family out to dinner. My rich uncle saw this elderly couple having a quiet little anniversary dinner, so my uncle secretly took their ticket and paid for it as an unexpected surprise. My grandpa saw him pay for the ticket, and on the way out, he walks over to the elderly couple and said “You better enjoy that dinner! My son paid for it!” Everyone in the family did a unified facepalm.

    There was another time we went out to eat and the restaurant had run out of baked potatoes. My grandpa got up and left. About 10 minutes later, he comes back with 3 Wendy’s bags full of baked potatoes and gives them to the waitress so they could serve them to us with his steak.

    The first time he met my husband, my grandpa told him that if he wants to get into my panties, he needs to give me the fruit from the moonshine because it will make those panties fall right off. My husband still laughs about it and I don’t trust him when he tries to give me fruit.

    So TL;DR: My grandfather’s impulsiveness.

  23. CarinaRegina1957 March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    A kid had just dragged his momma’s last nerve and she swung around, hand raised in the air with the promise of giving him a good ol’ slap on the tushie. Kid saw what was up, tucked his ass in and ran away, thrusting his pelvis forward every time her hand swatted towards his backside. Seeing the frustration on the mother’s face every time she missed and the terror on the child’s face made me laugh until tears were rolling down my cheeks.
    Note: The mother wasn’t being abusive or out of control, she just wanted to give him a little swat for being an out of control asshole.

  24. LiveLongAndProspurr March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    My brother’s teenage friend farted in church during a quiet period of the service. It started out low, then rose to a higher squealing pitch and echoed around the rafters. They laughed so hard that they had to get up and leave. My mom made them apologize to the priest afterwards.

  25. 5_sec_rule March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    When I was in boot camp on Sunday mornings we could either go to some church service or hang out in the barracks. I hung out in the barracks. We were not allowed to lay in our bunks so we all laid on the floor taking naps. If an officer walks into the barracks the first one to see the officer is supposed yell ATTENTION ON DECK! and we were all supposed to stand up to attention as quickly as possible. I remember this one kid was sleeping. Another guy goes up to him and slowly crouches with his bare ass a mere couple of inches from the sleeping guys face and the bare assed guy yells ATTENTION ON DECK! and the guy tried to stand up and bonked his face right in between the guy’s ass crack. Funniest shit I ever saw.

  26. Chiefdontrun17 March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    My cousin and I (both 13) convinced his 10 year old brother that there was an alligator eating all the fish in a shallow pond near my house. If he could kill the alligator by beating it over the head with a golf club, he’d be a hero in the family. Only we could see the gator’s movements from the top of a hill and we gave him directions of where he had to swing into the water to get it. After like 7 swings and falling into the pond, scaring himself shitless, the jig was up.

    That prank still makes us laugh at family reunions 25 years later.

  27. thomas_the_plane00 March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    My boyfriend and I went to Taco Bell one day. It was the first time he went through that specific Taco Bell drivethrough, because he had only just started driving and simultaneously stopped keeping kosher.

    This drive thru had one window after the talking menu where you order. You drive up, you pay, you wait there, they give you your food, you leave. Some places have separate windows, one where you pay and one where you get your food.

    My boyfriend comes to this window, and is perplexed by the fact that there is only one window. He asks if maybe the 2nd window is around the corner of the Taco Bell building.

    I tell him “no honey, just stay here. If you turn the corner, you are going to find the front of the building where the front doors are.”

    He says, “I’m pulling around to find the second window.”

    As he leaves, the poor girl handing him his food watches him drive away.

    He finds the front of the building. I laugh at him. He goes in and asks what to do. They tell him to go back in the drivethru. He pulls back through the drivethru, we explain at the talking menu, and pull forward to the lonesome window.

    Same girl looks up and goes “Oh, it’s you!” Then her manager, a large sassy black woman, comes up behind this girl and starts tearing my boyfriend a new one “YOU HAD ME LOOKING IN THE DRIVETHROUGH FOR YOU, I WENT OUTSIDE LOOKING FOR YOU, I LOOKED IN THE DINING AREA FOR YOU AND NOW HERE YOU ARE BACK IN MY DRIVE THROUGH???? I GOT MY EYES ON YOU.” My boyfriend hung his head in shame, and I cackled into my quesarito while he sat in his mistake.

    This was two years ago and he will never live it down.

  28. bad__movie__fan March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    I saw two guys wrestling over a bottle of cholula at a Mexican restaurant and while tugging it back and forth a bunch flew out and got in their eyes. They dropped the bottle and both started screaming. FUCKING EPIC.

  29. RonSwansonsOldMan March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    This is as funny as it is sad. Some time after my divorce I went to a thrift store to buy dishes. I saw the dishes sitting on the shelf that my family used to use when we went camping. I bought them.

  30. pumpyfrontbum March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    I saw a woman the other week yelling at a skip whilst holding an oversized stuffed toy of scooby-doo. I shouldn’t really laugh at mental health, because it was obvious she wasn’t all there mentally but it was funny as hell.

  31. Maweedug March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    My friends face coming out a nightclub one night whilst tripping on acid when right in front of her a lassie who looked strikingly similar to her, same hairstyle and features but weirdly also dressed in the exact same clothes. Needless to say my pal was so freaked out. We were in stitches

  32. Funkphaser March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    A loud argument between two grown men culminating in one of them yelling, “you’re a douche bag! That exactly why they call you Larry the douche bag!”

  33. rageandbutts March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    It was both awesome and funny. Was at a sold out Marilyn Manson show, guy got the crowd to surf him in his wheelchair across the entire venue. Crowd was completely distracted by the dude and cheered him on as he surfed his way to the stage. Manson stopped and shook the dude’s hand when he made it to the stage. Security hand NO IDEA what do because the walkway in front of the stage was too narrow for the chair. Guy was a freaking rock star for like 10 minutes.

  34. Unicorncuddletime March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    When I was maybe 7 or 8. My older brother was 10ish. We liked to ride bikes with the older kids, but sometimes they would get mad and ride by and kick us and make us go away. One time, they kept kicking my brother so he hopped off his bike and started screaming at each kid as they rode past him. As he opened his mouth to scream, one of the kids riding by spit a loogie (looked like a fuckin gumball in my memory) and it went straight in my brother’s mouth and apparently hit his uvula. It went from a scream to a projectile vomit instantly. Ahhhhhggggrrrrrruuuuuugh. Violent. Deep. Baritone. Wonderful.

  35. Tobes- March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    I made the mistake of telling my friend what ghost riding the whip is so he decided to try it on our way back from the store but A, he was a bit chubby so his exodus was less graceful than he expected and B, he did not realize his car idled at about 20 mph. so what I saw was just the door open and the driver of the vehicle dive out of the car horizontal and the car speed past him, which caused me and my other friend in the car to panic and think we just saw our friend run over himself. I dove under the seat and pressed the breaks while my friend steered. luckily he was fine other than a massive road rash on his ass, so we drove back to our dorm passing our RA with my friend trying to pretend he didn’t just use the road as a toilet paper while we made not so subtle car puns behind him, until he realized he didn’t have his keys. We then had drive back to the site of the incident and find his keys which we luckily did quickly. The most odd part is that this all happened when we were all stone cold sober and this just a normal thing that happened for us and there were so many things we could have done to prevent it but didn’t.

  36. TheSeed2point0- March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    I once when through a drive through later in the evening with one of my buddies, 11pm or so. I picked him up from a party so he didn’t drive drunk, so he bought me some food. The drive thru was right next to a college. Well I went through the drive thru and pulled around front because I wanted to eat before the 20+ minute drive to drop him off. When I pulled into a parking spot, there was a grassy area with small, newly planted trees right in front of it. There squatted a very attractive college girl intending on doing her business right then and there until my headlights so rudely interrupted her. She stood up, stared at the car for a second, then pulled up her trousers and ran behind the fenced dumpster across the lot. We laughed a bit, and went on eating our food. No more than two minutes later, she started approaching my car. I cracked my window and she asked me if I had any spare napkins. I did all I could to hold in my chuckles, reached in the bag, pulled out some greasy napkins and handed them to her. I have never laughed so hard in my entire life!

  37. Quick5ilver March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    My cousin challenged my younger cousin to a play-fight recently (they both do some form of martial arts), and when the older cousin was about to absolutely destroy my younger cousin, he voices a **PERFECT** “*omae wa mou shindeiru*”, before proceeding to win.

    I don’t know why but I’ve never laughed so hard in my life.

  38. uglychimp March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    When I was younger probably eleven or so i was already in bed but then i hear this scream from my parents room I run to figure out what happened, turns out my mom was laughing so hard that what I heard was her gasp for breath turns out my father had yawned and my dog had suck his nose in his mouth while goods eyes were closed

  39. DEMUXOR March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    We were stopped for lunch on a family road trip, and were sitting near the drink machine. I overheard an exchange where a woman asked a French man to pass her a straw, and on hearing him reply and realizing he was French tried her best to be culturally sensitive:

    “Thank Y- oh, I mean Gracias.”

  40. seniordogsrule March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    Saw a man take a crap on the beach. Then proceeded to bury it like a cat.

  41. tempthethrowaway March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    Tiny old lady in a meeting stood up during the one second pause in conversation and let our the fart of a 40yr old obese man that had eaten the entire taco bell menu.

  42. Silver_Spaghetti March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    High school production of The Jungle Book. Now, our theatre department does senior prank nights on the last night of the show. The senior playing Akela, the old, decrepit leader of the wolves, decided that for his prank it would be a good idea to bark like a dog after a very ominous line. So the girl playing Bagheera delivers her line and immediately Akela jumps up from the stage, spins around like he’s chasing his tail, and starts barking. The other wolves onstage are nearly choking from holding back their laughter, and Bagheera wheezes and covers her mic to conceal her laughter. She’s basically crying but manages to get through the scene. Another wolf has a line that’s just Mowgli’s name, meant to be delivered with concern. This kid, another senior, comes forward and is red in the face from laughing, and instead of saying “Mowgli” what comes out is “MOGIE.” And the entire cast fucking died of laughter onstage, the stage crew was in tears, and nothing has ever topped that.

  43. networkedquokka March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    Kid spit in his own face.

    Dog peed on his own foot and looked confused.

  44. jeffthepig06 March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    Had a kid yesterday during PE come up and say “Thanks for slavery” and my immediate response was “Your welcome” felt bad but bust out laughing for two reasons 1) The guy was black and 2) I am from the south…

  45. solar_flannels March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    Sitting in a veterinary waiting room, a dog walks out with an amputated front leg. The owners walk him out the front and he takes his first outdoors dump in what I could only guess was weeks. Because he has only one front leg, he couldn’t squat. It was more of a sit-shit. Then, as the dog’s ass was filfthy as heck, the owners held the dog’s butt up to a tap to rinse him off. The mental image of tiny legs and dogbutt being held up under a tap will never leave me.

  46. Arxieos March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    So there’s a guy in my town that does karate in his underpants from 4-7am we call him karate bob

  47. slawre89 March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    Was at my brother in laws house for dinner party. My other brother in law is a fitness/nutrition kind of guy and he is also there. The two brother in laws go out to buy ice cream for dessert after dinner at the request of the wives. They come back with low-fat dreyers ice cream. The women complain and the fitness bro in law completely loses it. Throws his hands up in the air and yells “who the fuck needs full fat ice cream” then storms off and leaves the dinner. Brother in law says he tried to talk him out of his ice cream choice while they were at the store but that he was dead set on it being low fat so he just rolled with it. It was at this exact moment the mom of the three daughters (wives) walks in while everyone is still silent and says “oooh you guys got ice cream”. Takes one bite, spits it out and says “who the fuck buys low fat ice cream?” Everyone laughs. It was like being in a sitcom. Timing couldn’t have been better.

  48. Terpsichorus March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    Guy was driving his mid-life crises convertible sportscar. He leaned slightly to his left to get a better view of himself in the side mirror when a fairly good breeze hit him smack in the face and ripped the toupee off his head.

  49. myelbowclicks March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    A kid about my age at the time but who was way taller than me went flying past me going at least 40 mph on a bike while I was pretending to talk German to a girl in class who was from Germany. I didn’t actually know German but I had watched a lot of German films as a child because my grandmother was originally from Frankfurt by way of Berlin. This kid on the bike is screaming “it’s like a horse. It feels just like a horse!” Pretty much at the top of his lungs. I kind of forget the rest but you get the idea. Up close it was absolutely ridiculous

  50. kibskix March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    A dad and his maybe 4 year old daughter were walking in front of me through a store. It was dead quiet and no one else really in the store. She was hopping from tile to tile on the floor and suddenly and very loudly said “Daddy don’t step on the cracks, there’s LOBSTERS in the cracks!”

    It may be a you had to be there kind of thing, but the silence and being in my own head, then being wrenched back into reality by a preschooler screaming about lobsters was really really funny.

  51. currentcontext March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    A comment on Reddit. I don’t even remember what it was about, I just remember the guy saying, “my beetus foot!” Laughed so hard I dang near peed my pants.

  52. catdude142 March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    We were at a gas station last summer and a passenger in a work truck was horking his guts out through the passenger window. This guy was making some NOISE! It wasn’t just one time or two. He kept going.

    It really echoed with the hard concrete surfaces. My buddy and I just looked at each other and started cracking up.

    No, it wasn’t this person’s best day (we suspect he drank too much) but the sound was rather phenomenal.

  53. BigGreyCat63 March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    In high school my friends packed into a car and went down our towns mainstreet one night blasting gay porn. The amount of double takes and people looking as the one driving had the straightest face and would stare at people. I would cut my left but off to do that again with the homies

  54. EightySixTheWorld March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    Once saw a guy walking down the street yelling, “fuck Connie Chung!”

  55. tjsr March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    Years ago we used to have mountain bike races in the evenings every week. I’d do these races then ride 50km home, by which time it was well and truly dark.

    One night while riding home we reached a section of the commuter path that is on a long, suspended bridge, which runs underneath the major freeway. It’s maybe nearly a kilometer long, with shoulder-height fencing on either side. Now, by this point of the story, it’s dark, so we both have a set of helmet and handlebar mounted lights on, quite bright.

    This paticular night, I rode up the ramped section and as I came around the corner there’s a small possum. Me, I’m distracted by “ooh, a cute possum. Oh, he’s scared of us, and running away.” It did not however immediately trigger to me how him running away from us might have been terrifying to him. Which is why he kept running, and I found it funnier and funnier with each passing moment. Right up until the point this little terrified possum noticed he’d run right past a gap – his way out – where there was a T-intersection, so he jumped to do a 180, flipped, and basically bowled himself over to make this escape. All this happens in the space of a little more than five seconds.

    Me, by this point I’m pissing myself, still not realising until the whole ordeal was over that the poor terrified possum might not have been so terrified had we just stopped for a moment, rather than just riding on.

  56. PM_ME_YOUR_MONTRALS March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    My sister’s face one time when we were at the table and Mom was annoyed at us in the other room and she wanted us to shut up and eat our sandwiches but she was so mad and my sister was trying so hard to be quiet that her face got really red and stupid looking so i laughed and she laughed and mom yelled at us and my sister laughed harder and a piece of tuna fish fell out of her mouth and we laughed harder and almost choked but didnt and mom freaked the fuck out but it was fucking hilarious and nothing has ever been so funny since.

  57. Thoughtful-Jerk March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    My friend and I were walking into the mall doors, the ones that can sense when you’re close so they slide open for you. Well at our mall right when you walk in, the entrance is encased in glass. Well, as we are walking in this little kid comes RUNNING through people cause there’s a Mary-Go-Round right at the entrance. Well instead of running straight through people through the entrance, the kid makes a sharp right turn and runs STRAIGHT INTO THE GLASS. THE GLASS WAS SO CLEAN THE KID THOUGH “nah there’s nothing there.” The funniest part was, when the kid ran into it, it sounded like a low GONG.

  58. CuteHalfling March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    My friend was being harassed by a drunk girl (Or drugged) in a public toilet. She was trying to get her to take her to the toilet and promising to give her a watch if she did. I actually wet myself. She was terrified but I was literally wetting myself.

  59. SAYUSAYME007 March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    Lauging as I type…1980s, dad went in to McDonalds to get us 4 kids, ice cream cones. He walks back to the car and as hes getting into our Dodge Aries, he puts his right hand in first that is holding a drink holder with 4 ice cream cones placed in each spot. As he put his ass in the car his hand goes up and he is left with 4 white ice cream spots on the ceiling of the car. He sees this says, god damn it and flings the whole thing out of the car onto the ground. We all started laughing and didnt get ice cream.

    Another one was my dad ordering at Wendys drive thru…and the girl on the intercom says will that complete your order, his response was…wait a biggie miniute…cracks me up everytime!! This was when biggie was a size at Wendys!

    TIL..My family is a bunch of fat asses that eat fast food far too much.

  60. MsStJohnIfYouNasty March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    Young and fairly newly married, my (now ex) husband and I were living abroad and my coworker had invited us to a dance at his village community center. We were sitting one out, on a bench against a wall. Further down the wall there was a movable staircase with four or five steps and an attached metal railing.

    There were a little boy and little girl, maybe five years old, and the girl was standing one step higher than the boy and they were doing cute kid shit in their curiously old-fashioned traditional clothes. My ex said to me ‘aw, cute, don’t you want one of those?’

    At the very moment he said that, the boy grasped the top of the girl’s head, and smashed the side of her head into the stair railing. She, of course, starts shrieking, but I busted out laughing (due mainly to the juxtaposition of my ex saying the kids are cute and do I want one at the exact moment one of them is being an enormous asshole). Naturally, nobody else in the place saw that mental calculus. They saw this girl screaming in pain, and this asshole american laughing at it, and their faces made me laugh even harder.

    Self preservation instinct did kick in with a quickness though, and I beat feet out of there. Coworker never invited me anywhere ever again for the next two years we worked together.

  61. centaurparkour March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    A few years back, my mom and I stopped at this rustic little historic resort/spa out in the middle of nowhere Wyoming on our way to Denver. We got dinner at the resort hotel — late, because it turns out it was hard to get reservations there on short notice — and afterward head back to our cabin. We’re walking behind the most stereotypical old ranching couple you could ever hope to see, both of them skinny as rails and probably 90 if they’re a day. I’m mesmerized by how idyllic the setting is. Impossibly expansive sky full of glittering stars, not a breath of wind, the crickets chirping softly…and suddenly, this is shattered by the old rancher ripping the LOUDEST fart I’d ever heard a human produce. It sounded like an elephant trying to blow the Horn of Gondor…using any definition of “blow” you could so choose.

    Now I’m not usually the type to think flatulence is all that funny, but the unexpectedness (both that someone that small could produce that noise, and hearing it in the otherwise silent, peaceful Wyoming night) combined with the fact that my mother was *also* trying not to laugh had me in stitches. The couple just kept bow-leggedly tottering on, totally oblivious, meanwhile my mom and I are staggering along behind with tears streaming down our faces making odd chortle/wheeze noises that we were desperately trying to stifle. If anyone else had been around to see, I’m confident they would have attempted the Heimlich on at least one of us.

  62. Hardcore_Casual_99 March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    My mom once said “bless you” to someone who sneezed out the window of a moving car. We were walking back to the car from a stand-up comedy show and I laughed harder than I did in the theater.

  63. MC1R-OCA2 March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    When I was in middle school, my mom and her best friend somehow connected with a woman who owned a llama farm. So, our two families (myself, my younger sister, and the two boys who were about our age and like brothers to us) went to visit this farm.

    I have always loved animals and considered myself to be a bit of a Steve Irwin Jr, so when the owner of the llama farm warned us that the llamas were probably scared of us, I thought “but surely I’m the exceptional animal whisperer, and this extends to llamas.” Also, because I was into animals, I knew going in that llamas have three stomachs and will vomit from progressively deeper stomachs as a defense mechanism.

    I walk up to this pen with a dozen or so fluffy llamas in it. All but one run away, and as I climb up on to the fence, it comes closer to me. I am ready to have a *profound moment* with this llama and prove the woman wrong about the animals being scared of me when it touches my hand, rears its head back, and SNEEZES directly onto my face. Silence. I just stare, wondering if I’m covered in llama vomit or just snot, when the llama regains its composure and happily trots off to be with the rest its pack.

    At that point, I was so surprised that I basically fell backwards off the pen fence flat onto my back. I can see from my vantage point that my sister and “brothers” are also on the ground, literally rolling around in the dirt laughing. I am laughing so hard that I’m crying.

    What made it even funnier was that the llama owner just thought I was crying, so she’s gotten down on her knees trying to comfort me, which of course only makes the whole situation funnier.

    It was a fun and memorable day.

  64. Gunt_Inspector March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    I was playing a video game with my friend when I was about 12-13. I can’t quite remember what happened but we made a joke about the game and I laughed so hard my nose started bleeding.

  65. ByeByeFlutterPie March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    A naked guy doing cartwheels in the supermarket while shouting some weird gibberish I can’t remember.

  66. Natimaster1 March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    Me and my biology teacher were in class, and he was on Twitch.TV and we were talking about whether or not a game was streamed more than the other. So he goes on the front page and we find out, but then he says, “I’ve been wanting to check out IRL, seems like a cool game it has a lot of viewers. But I don’t really know what it is?”

  67. indianamedic March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    Watching my youngest brother when he was about ten years old do the Bay Watch Tv show running scene of the opening credits scene. My brother is running full steam and trips sliding face first in the muddy, sandy beach in Florida while the tide was out… I swear I pissed myself laughing. He was covered in mud, dead sea creatures and god knows what else and we didn’t have change of clothes. So we shoved him in the back seat muddy soaking wet laughing the entire ride to my sister in laws house we we staying at. I bust his balls about it all the time. He’s 30 years old now, I can’t wait till he gets married to talk about it at his wedding. I wanted to do it at his medical school graduation party but I forgot about it.

  68. tautomers March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    Summer of 2009, I was riding my bike next to my college campus at the time to get some snacks at walmart at midnight or so. As I am riding along the street I notice a bowling ball blob next to the side walk, and another similar sized blob slowly creeping towards it. Eventually I got close enough and realized the moving blob was a cat.

    The cat pounced on the other blob. It turned out to be a sleeping duck, which promptly quaked just once very loudly and instantly flew away. The cat stood still confused.

    I laughed so hard I crashed my bike on the curb.

  69. outrider567 March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    Check out The Ugandan Expendables on YouTube–There’s a whole industry of African movies there, you’ll laugh your ass off–Wakanda it ain’t

  70. SpehlingAirer March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    Honestly I cannot remember. I remember something happening like 15 years ago that had me rolling on the ground laughing in tears for like 20 minutes straight, harder than I had ever laughed before, but for the life of me I do NOT remember what it was

  71. LawnGnomeFlamingo March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    I saw a tween riding her bike while staring at her phone. She crashed into a stop sign. She wasn’t hurt but the look of surprise on her face was great.

  72. crustysock64 March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    I was doing paintball with some friends and one of them got shot in the head 3 times by accident by the person behind him. His first reaction was to jump forward exposing his head and get pelted by 5 more. That all happened in seconds too. While I was laughing I got shot in the arm.

  73. scorian March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    I don’t know where it came from but my brother ended up with this gag gift that was a spring loaded dick in a small glass mustard jar. While funny itself it pales in comparison to what he did with it.

    The dick was hollow rubber so he puts a small hole in the end of it and shoved a spoonful of mayonnaise in it. He goes and sits on the couch and when my mother, stepdad, and sister get home he holds it at his crotch and shoves his finger in sending the mayo flying toward them. He gave a huge groan that would make a porn director proud. The horror quickly faded into tearful laughter.

    I struggle telling this story because I can’t stop laughing every time I think about it.

  74. Umpaw March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    At a college party. Guy got mad at his date. Climed on a coffee table, dropped his pants, spread his cheeks, and said, “Take this red-eye you bitch!” Their first date. They dated for a year afterward.

  75. sweetassunshine March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    Friend of mine was being silly and jumped to sit on my bed with the intention to bounce. Must have put a bit too much behind it when she bounced straight off the other side, flailing in the air for a bit and fell on the floor.

  76. johnnylovesbjs March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    During the cake fart craze my friend tried to recreate it. We were drunk but to this day thinking about it makes me laugh no matter what.

  77. criuggn March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    During homecoming week, some kid was wearing one of those inflatable t-rex suits. They were walking up the stairs when they tripped and couldn’t get back up. The two kids that were walking with him/her stood there and laughed for a good 30 seconds before helping the poor kid up.

    I’m not sure how hard it is to get up in one of those suits so the kid may have been faking it but it was still funny

  78. coreygodofall March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    Mostly people falling.

    My friend was drunk one summers day and decided that he could run down this pier and dive directly over the fence and into the water below, like something from a bond movie.

    The fence was high, the decking on the pier was soaking wet and my friend was very drunk so as a true friend I told him it was a fantastic idea.

    Which it was, for me.

    He obviously slipped as he jumped but his legs clipped the top of the fence which violently spun him in the air and into the water.

    I cried with laughter that day.

  79. greffedufois March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    My little sisters friend was riding her bike past our house. She was maybe 7?

    She looks at our house and says ‘hi meredith, hi. Meredith hi Meredith’ while waving. She didn’t see the curb as she rode up on it, and got clotheslined by the neighbors mailbox and the bike kept going a couple feet riderless.

    I had to hide in the garage laughing because I knew I should go help. Luckily her parents were with her and they took care of her while I ran inside to go pee lest I pee my pants.

    God I’m laughing now and this happened a good 15 years ago. That kid is in her 20s now.

  80. chelsduff March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    This kid in high school pronounced “Socrates” like “So-crates.”

  81. Wonka_Vision March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    Some kid being chased by another kid ran past me yelling “help! He’s trying to free my willy!!”

  82. partofbreakfast March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    One of the teachers at the school I work at is very stern. Not mean, but stony-faced. He’s great with the kids, but you’ll never really see him laugh or smile anything besides that ‘I’m here to help you’ encouraging smiles that guys like that have.

    One day, one of the 1st graders in his class was talking about his family, and he said “My dad stays home all day because his job is growing medicine.”

    That was pretty funny in of itself, but I looked over to the teacher and he was trying so hard not to lose his shit. He had a hand covering his mouth and his shoulders were scrunched up and shaking a little. Seeing a normally stony-faced man losing it like that has to be the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

  83. PineappleStickers March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    When i was in year 6 at school, i was one day rocking on my chair when i pushed it too far and rolled/tumbled a few meters backwards into an open supply room.

    I still have no idea why, but this cause a serious case of the giggles which i couldn’t for the life of me control.
    All my classmates could see was a pair of twitching legs sticking out of the closet and uncontrolable laughter. The teacher eventually just left me there to tire myself out

  84. Braelind March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    One time I saw a squirrel miss a jump and fall like 30 feet (he was fine, except for his dignity). I pointed and laughed. From then on he’d chirp the hell outta me when I was in the area. One time, when I entered his “territory” all was quiet until a HUGE mushroom fell out of a tree and narrowly missed my head. I looked up to see that same squirrel a few branches above me, staring me dead in the eyes with bits of mushroom on his little claws. I laughed again… did he try to kill me?

    Also, one time one of our horses was zipping all over the pasture like a jackass, and when he ran by he let loose a massive baritone horse fart. It was pretty funny.

    Also, in university a buddy bought a house and found a little pink tricycle in the garage. We were drinking a bit that night and took it to a nearby street that was a massive hill. Myself and two other full grown men carefully balanced on it and blasted down the hill, laughing riotously.
    We zipped by a house that was receiving what looked like a noise complaint from the cops. The police officer turned to see us, and just lost her shit laughing at the absurdity of it. Which made it pretty funny for us too.

    Oh! And I once laughed so hard at this that I got a nosebleed. I guess that can happen?

  85. Bobby_Bobberson2501 March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    My 10 year old brother running down the sidewalk trying to get a kite in the air. Runs knee cap first into a fire hydrant, let’s out an amazing thud, and my brother crumples to the ground, it had a bulge that was sensitive for a few years.

  86. ChattyLie March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    I went to the Easter Show in Sydney, which is kind of like a giant agricultural fair in the city. There was a little area of bleachers around a maze of fencing and gates with a little flock of sheep and some dogs. One person was directing the dogs to herd the sheep around, and another person was giving a running commentary.

    “Now you may have noticed, one of the dogs is barking a lot. That’s because he’s very young, only a year old, he’s just started working with the sheep so it’s all very exciting for him”

    At this point the sheep stop and refuse to go further and all the rest crowd up behind them. Handler gives the young barker the signal to run over the sheep’s backs and bark at the lead one to make it move. So, he jumps up on the back of sheep, yapping with all his might, and starts running towards the front when 2 of the sheep decide to step apart just as this dog gets to them. Dog plunges headfirst down into the new space, but it’s not very wide so he gets stuck there, back legs and tail sticking up, still barking away for all he’s worth. You could see the other 2 dogs just cringing with embarrassment.

    Totally worth the price of admission.

  87. LilWiggs March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    Nanna’s funeral, all the family is there and we are watching a slide show with pictures from the past. One of my Uncle P pops up on screen with his 70’s silky long blond hair and denim cut offs. My little 8 year old cousin turns to my aunt and says in a loud child whisper ” Is this back when daddy was gay?”.
    It was a much needed and refreshing break from the tears.
    She just told him that daddy wasn’t gay, but a hippy and the mourning continued.

  88. LoafPope March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    The look on my friends face when after a long night of drinking, opening up a takeaway curry box lid, only for it to have another lid underneath.

    My friends face, expecting to see delicious curry, was met with another white lid was just incredible. At this point another one of my friends clocked on and said ominously “…what if it’s all lids?” to which we were treated with this look of mad panic.

    When I think about this, I do that silent laugh where I can’t breathe.

  89. eddyathome March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    I was a teenager wandering around the shopping mall and there was a pet store there with a parrot. Some little kid was trying to make it talk and saying stupid crap like “Polly want a cracker” and “Say you’re a pirate” and generally being annoying.

    The parrot says “Hello Eggbert!” and the tone was definitely not a compliment. The little kid’s eyes get big and round and I start cracking up. The kid runs off and the parrot winked at me. I swear it winked at me!

  90. Ganethos March 14, 2018 / 9:48 pm

    About twelve years ago me and my brother were walking my dog, a Jack Russel terrier. On our way back he was ready to take a shit, so we stopped for a moment and let him do his business. While waiting we noticed he was having some trouble dropping the load. It took about a minute and a half before we heard a ‘yelp!’ while an undigested chicken bone launched out of his butthole like a cannonball. It landed about 6 ft. away.

    We couldn’t stop laughing. Funniest shit I’ve ever seen.

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