47 thoughts on “What is your Tinder horror story?

  1. SuperFlyStuka March 14, 2018 / 2:00 pm

    I’ve told this story before.
    Match with a girl. She comments on a photo of me and my old jeep. It’s race weekend so we decide to take the top/doors off and go ride around the the campground the night before the Talladega race. Some friends of mine are there in RV’s. They plan to have a bonfire.
    She gives me an address and I pick her up. She is dressed to party at a NASCAR race. Cut off jeans, tank top looking thing, cowboy boots and hat. We arrive and she starts drinking. Really enjoying herself dancing around, a bit rowdy. We go for a ride around the campground. She is standing up, holding on to the windshield dancing, collecting beads.

    We get back to where my friends are. I’m sitting in drivers seat, she gets out and dances her way over to my side. Climbs up into my lap wedging herself between the steering wheel and me. Grinding around. Has her feet stuck in the dash.
    She kicked the toggle switches for the headlights off and the wire short out. The insulation melts and melted plastic drips down onto my flip-flopped feet. I gotta get away but I can’t. I try to pick her up and set her out. I’m in a hurry and wind up throwing her to the ground, on her head ruining her hat and busting her head open.

    She’s decided she’s not having much fun anymore, wants me to take her home. But I don’t have any headlights! So I borrow my friends truck and start towards her house. Before we can get out of the campground she decides she’s going to throw up. So I pull over but there are people everywhere. she doesn’t want to throw up in front of people, so she pulls the door half-to and politely asks me to pull up to this empty spot just ahead. I’m in a hurry, I don’t want her to throw up in my buddies truck so I quickly head for the empty spot. She’s decided she can’t wait, so she opens the door, sticks her head out and starts to vomit when the door collides with a big, blue garbage can, slamming the door into her face sending vomit everywhere and busting her nose. I took her home, hair caked in blood and vomit, busted nose and lip.

  2. butisitok March 14, 2018 / 2:00 pm

    I met up with a guy who was doing wildlife work in Australia but was back in the states visiting family for a week or two. We had lots of friends in common (we’re both from the same area) so I thought at the very least there would be some fun stories he’d tell. He showed up drunk, beat me at darts, got blackout drunk, and went home with his ex girlfriend, who I knew.

    Dude had a great night.

  3. polarbearkurt March 14, 2018 / 2:00 pm

    Pretty late posting but haven’t told this story before.

    I met this amazing guy on tinder 3 years ago, kind, intelligent, excellent taste in music and so so funny. I fell pretty hard pretty quick within the few months we hung out.

    One night he’s drinking with his buddies and asking me to come see him but I’m at work so say I’ll catch up tomorrow he send back a sweet message and that’s that.

    A week later I still hadn’t heard from him and thought id been ghosted until a private number calls me and it’s a cop asking if he had come to see me that night. I’m freaking out thinking he’s been arrested or something. She then informs me he had died in a car accident that night he has messaged me to hang out was the last txt he’d sent

    Him and his friend went for a drive and crashed, his friend who was driving fled the scene and left him their to die.

    We had no mutual friends and weren’t connected on social media so I didn’t even know or have anyone who knew him I could talk to about how much I missed him. Fucking tinder.

  4. davidthecalmgiant March 14, 2018 / 2:00 pm

    “Anyways, so I like to go to slaughter houses, and just watch.”

  5. 2Kanye2West March 14, 2018 / 2:00 pm

    She casually told me in conversation that she wanted a sperm sample from me. She was dead serious about this. She had a vial with her.

    We were at a coffee shop.

  6. morgueanna March 14, 2018 / 2:00 pm

    Matched with a guy and we chat back and forth for a few mins. Then he asks for my number and I oblige.

    He calls and we chat for a whole 2 minutes before he mentions that he just sold off a huge amount of his collectibles (huge geek) and was looking for something to invest in. He then starts asking my opinion, as another huge geek, as to which company would be a great investment for him.

    No joke, he practically grilled me for an hour, asking me what I thought of Netflix versus another streaming service, whether Apple was too big to invest in now, if I’d heard of any cool geeky startups coming. What were my favorite apps, did I know any developers?

    Jesus. It kind of creeped me out, so I said I was done and stopped talking to him.

    2 weeks later and I’m at a huge Halloween party. He texts me and asks what I’m up to. I tell him I’m at a huge party with about 100 people. He tries badly to flirt with me, saying he wishes he was there. I ignore him, so he sends me a dick pic.

    There are a *ton* of people at this party, one of which was a drunk friend who happened to be looking at my phone when the pic pops up. He practically screams “IS THAT A DICK PIC??” and everyone within earshot comes running.

    I then spend the next 10 mins taking pictures of all my guy friends’ nipples and them shoving my phone down their pants, taking pics, and saying “mine’s better.” The poor dude freaked out and stopped texting me.

    But seriously. I told you I was with 100 or so drunk people. Jesus.

  7. Siroucity March 14, 2018 / 2:00 pm

    Not mine, but my buddy’s.

    Met a girl on Tinder, he goes to her house and she’s wearing a weird looking corset that wasn’t seductive or anything, just “looked like a flamboyant corset.” Anywho, she tells him there’s this cool party and they should check out and she drives him there.

    They drive out in the middle of what looked like abandon office buildings which was peculiar. They drive behind one of the buildings and there was a “cop” standing outside guarding one of the doors. When they approach the door, he realized he wasn’t a cop but just some guy wearing a cop outfit (lol).

    Inside, they walk in a small room at the entrance with these random guys who are playing Dungeons and Dragons, not dressed like they are ready to party. They sit on a couch for like 5 minutes feeling totally out of place… He dressed nice and she’s wearing the corset. After some time, a really big guy walks in from the hall way and says “anyone want drinks?” His date got really excited and jumped up saying “ME ME ME!” So, they follow him down to another room.

    The next room they entered had a big round table in the middle, kinda like a conference table with random guys just sitting around the table with lines of cocaine in front of them. They walk around the table to a small table behind that has lots of alcohol on it. She’s making a drink so he sits by himself to the side waiting. Another couple walks in and his date walks in front of him. I guessed he looked at her weird or something because the dude walks over and shoves him saying “WHY YOU LOOKING AT MY GIRL BRO?” My friend is saying he wasn’t looking at her at all. My friend’s date comes back and says “don’t be silly, he’s with me!”

    The a-hole walks away and is staring him down, so my friend says he wants to go. She reluctantly says ok but she wants to check out a different room. So, they leave and go down the hallway to the next room. When they open the door, they turn on the light and there’s some weird satanic looking room that has red lights everywhere, a girl naked taped up against the wall with her eyes shut muttering something under her breath, and a couple fully naked on the floor as the dude is going down on her completely… and she’s moaning yelling satanic stuff according to him. Sooo he says we’re leaving now and they walk out of the building.

    She’s driving home and there is no talking at all. He says randomly “WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?” and she apologizes saying she thought it was something else. When they get back, he leaves and goes to his car and promptly blocks her on Tinder, his phone, and Facebook and drives away.

  8. oneevilchicken March 14, 2018 / 2:00 pm

    A few were lame and didn’t go any where but the one that sucked the most was the one that went somewhere then died.

    Met a girl and we immediately seemed to hit it off. Asked her out she says yes. We go on a hot date to zaxbys, she was really down to earth and specifically asked for somewhere cheap because she didn’t have money for a fancy meal. No big deal I love zaxbys and I paid for her meal too. Night goes on we go out to a bar with my friends. It’s a karaoke bar. On the way there we are all crammed in one car so she sits in my lap. We draw cute faces on the window and hold hands. We get there and dance together and makeout and have an awesome time. Eventually the night ends. We text for the next few days then she just ghosts me.

    Not hilariously bad stories you probably hoped for but this what still hurts to this day.

  9. frostysbox March 14, 2018 / 2:00 pm

    Matched with a guy, and for once, he ended up being way cuter than his actual pictures. Said he was from out of state, already living here in a hotel his company put up. Talked about everything we wanted from life, the kind of relationship we’re looking for, everything is on point. This guy has the potential to be the man of my dreams. Went out, he met all my most important friends, get home and I’m dealing with a crisis situation with a roommate (she got her face busted in at a bar fight) and he is A+ on top of it with me, we eventually sleep together, got a kiss goodbye and he told me he’d be over for the playoff game that afternoon.

    Then I decided to friend him on facebook since I saw him scrolling through it earlier that night and WOULDN’T YOU FUCKING KNOW HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND OF FOUR YEARS AND WAS NEVER MOVING DOWN HERE.

    I zipped up all our texts, pictures, everything and sent it to her. She said I was crazy. She’s still with him.

    Hey Brian and Meg, I hope you enjoy your life together.

  10. myalwaysthrowaway March 14, 2018 / 2:00 pm

    We matched together, turns out we knew each other from a fetish website. we met for a date, didn’t talk about the fetish at all. he was wearing Meme clothing, date went okish. we talked for a few days via texting then he randomly blocked me.

  11. snarkyopteryx March 14, 2018 / 2:00 pm

    I was having a decent time out at dinner with this fella and he invited me back over for a drink and a movie at his place. He excitedly told me that I’d get a chance to meet his cat, Snowy, when we got to his apartment. Snowy was nowhere to be seen when we arrived, but about ten minutes into watching a movie I heard some scratching around in the corner of the room, and noticed that there was a litterbox over there. Soon after, the entire living room filled with the most foul goddamn shit-smell you can imagine, like he had been feeding that cat a steady diet of toxic waste and rotting corpses. I pretended I did not notice this for a bit, although I was feeling more and more nauseated by the smell (and it was truly the shit-smell to end all shit-smells). He finally brought it up himself. “Snowy must’ve dropped a real big deuce! It smells preeeetty bad in here,” he said with a chuckle. I was instantly relieved, thinking that his acknowledgement of this fact would mean that he would go deal with it- scoop the litter box, light a few candles, SOMETHING. But no. He chose this very moment as the one to lean over and passionately jam his tongue into my mouth. I recoiled from this advance, foul shit-smell swirling in my nostrils, and told him that I was feeling a little bit sick. Food poisoning maybe? I just needed to get out of there, ASAP. I woke up the next morning (in my own non-shitty bed) with several texts from him. Two were pictures of his cat (because she and I had not had the chance to become properly acquainted) and one was him telling me how hard he wanted to bone me.

    Spoiler alert: boning never happened

  12. frootgoth March 14, 2018 / 2:00 pm

    had a pretty ok time on the first date with this guy, picks me up and takes me to his apartment for the second “date”. everything’s cool, we’re having a good time, then we go outside to have a cigarette. he ends up locking us out of his apartment, at 11 pm, his phone’s inside and mine’s on 10%, and he’s refusing to call a fucking locksmith. best part is his roommate could have easily let us back in if he hadn’t driven her to the airport 5 hours prior lmao

    to make a long story short, we were locked out for about three hours until he decided to literally break into his own apartment. i politely asked if he could take me back home and he said “you’re never going to talk to me again after this are you?”

  13. itscollin March 14, 2018 / 2:00 pm

    Here we go, I have a few tinder horror stories but I think this one is my best.

    About 6ish months ago I was swiping through one night because I was bored. That’s when I came across ‘Jenny’ (name changed for obvious reasons). Jenny was a cute asian girl with a nice body, and her description was “Just looking for a third for me and my BF” I swiped right just to make a joke. I was going to say “If we fuck me and your bfs dicks wont touch right?”

    We matched 30 minutes later and her bio had changed to “just looking to hookup tonight.” Me thinking boyfriend was no longer in the picture started chatting with her which led to me driving and picking her up later that night. This is where the horror story starts:

    I pull up and she walks to my car and opens the door, I say hello and she responds with “You look nothing like your tinder profile…” I was taken aback by this, and responded with “We snapchatted all the way up to me picking you up. What?” and she goes “Oh no im not saying it in a bad way you just look… Different” Me handling awkward situations well, I just laugh it off and ask her how her day went. Conversation continues.

    Later down the road almost back to my room she stops mid sentence and asks “Are you gay?” This question really confused me so i said, “I mean i picked you up to have sex with you soooo no…” THEN SHE ASKS IF IM SURE and again i just laugh and tease her for being a jerk to me so far.

    We finally get back to my place, order pizza and we are watching The Office when she looks at me and says “I don’t think I want to have sex tonight.” I say “Thats perfectly fine with me I want you to be comfortable” the night continues we eat our pizza continue talking then she brings up the first bio. I ask what happened with her relationship she says “oh im kinda dating this guy..” and I ask her why shes here then and she responds ” Oh he fucks other girls without telling me all the time Im just trying to get back at him.”

    **NSFW PART**

    so this is just weird for me at this point, but about 10 minutes after that she hops off the bed strips to her underwear and says “I feel bad you came and picked me up and bought me pizza to have sex with me so lets fuck” and I ask if she trying to pity fuck me, she says no she actually thinks im pretty fun. so she gets on me and we start making out, i take the rest of her clothes off along with mine, put a condom on, and as soon as I put the tip in SHE BREAKS OUT IN TEARS. I immediately jump up and ask if shes ok to which she says “I really want to fuck you right now but I just cant im in love with my *kinda* bf and he just doesnt want me” so i get her clothes together she puts on her underwear TAKES MY SWEATS and put those on instead of her jeans and lays in my bed sobbing for about 30 mins eating my ice cream while I play games.

    picked a girl up for a hookup, continuously insulted. She says she doesnt want to have sex changes her mind after telling me about her *kinda* boyfriend, Starts crying when we start having sex.

  14. bblonde March 14, 2018 / 2:00 pm

    It was all fun and games until he told me the LDS church invented feminism.

  15. asdner March 14, 2018 / 2:00 pm

    Matched with a pretty foreign student named Maria, decided to meet at an alternative club for some drinks. Get there on time, buy the ticket (apparently there’s an event). Take a look inside – it’s pretty quiet, but around 15 people sitting by tables, ignoring the blasting music. I return to the bar which is by the entrance, so I can see when she comes in. Buy a beer and start talking with the ticket seller – it’s a party organised by foreign students. Ok, makes sense. Several people enter the party, but not Maria. 15 minutes later, she’s still not there. A guy comes in, buys the ticket and goes straight to the counter: “Hi! Has a girl been asking for a Jonas? I was supposed to have a Tinder date here. Her name is Maria.” I take a second to process and go back to the big hall and realise that all people there are sitting by the tables alone, all male, and in their phones. I quickly realise there is no Maria and I was just coaxed into buying a ticket for an event that otherwise would have flopped. I didn’t have the heart to tell any of the remaining guys, just left immediately and laughed all the way home at my own naivete and the ingenious ticketing ploy.

  16. TosiHulluMies March 14, 2018 / 2:00 pm

    I swipe right on this girl. She was good looking but since she didn’t have a bio that was all I had to go with. What do you know she swiped right on me too! And she actually messaged me first! Her first message was: “Cat or death?” My reply was “I like cats but I’m more of a dog person.” She said I was dead to her.

    Haven’t really used Tinder anyway so this is pretty tame, but it took me off-guard. I fucking love cats but I love dogs more.

  17. jaeg_26 March 14, 2018 / 2:00 pm

    Wanted to meet with a girl for a first date.

    She asked me if I wanted to come over to have dinner with her…

    …and her parents, and her three siblings and their partners.

    It was really strange sitting there with a lot of random people all staring at you asking Interview-like questions.

  18. shinerist March 14, 2018 / 2:00 pm

    Met with a girl at one of the campus libraries to study. I figured if it all went south at least I’d get my homework done. She told me one time she got blackout drunk at a club downtown and on the way home ordered like 20 mcdouble burgers. She ate some of them, and then proceeded to stuff the rest of them under the mattress in her dorm like a squirrel getting ready for winter. Well I guess once she got sober she mentally lost the map to burger town under her bed somehow, so the mcmatress topper just stayed there for a bit. A few weeks later she went out again and got plastered….again. She comes home with her roommate, and I guess the drunk version of her remembered the stache. She goes and reaches for the burgers to FUCKING EAT THEM. Luckily her roommate stopped her. The good news Is I got my homework done after that because I was pretty grossed out by the story she was so happy to revisit. She looked really dissapointed when I wouldn’t give her, aka the literal hamburglar a hug goodbye.

  19. ThinkSoftware March 14, 2018 / 2:00 pm

    tried for three hours, couldn’t get the fire started

  20. Life_outside_PoE March 14, 2018 / 2:00 pm

    I just realised my tinder horror story is just a regular ass story of two people who are not compatible figuring out they are not compatible.

    Jesus fuck some of you guys….

  21. broimgay March 14, 2018 / 2:00 pm

    Conversation with an attractive, nice and stable guy slowly dying off to the point that it becomes too awkward to recover and then you’re left thinking about what might have been and kicking yourself for your social ineptitude.

    Happens weekly.

  22. buttchick March 14, 2018 / 2:00 pm

    This happened on OKCupid, but I figure the exact online dating platform isn’t exactly important. This was about 7 years ago or so now. This guy around my age (24ish at the time) messages me and we chat back and forth through OKCupid’s messenger for the rest of the day. When I tell him, “I need to go to bed, so goodnight,” he asks for my phone number. I tell him I’m not comfortable giving out my number so soon after meeting someone, but I’d love to continue talking to him to get to know him a bit better and then we can exchange numbers. He kinda protests, but then says he understands.

    We talk back and forth for another two days or so. I’m not entirely sure if I’m interested as he’s mentioned he just ended a serious relationship two months ago, and he has an infant son. (The infant son wasn’t a deal breaker for me. I like kids and would have been cool with being a stepmom someday to the right guy’s kids.) The just recently ending a relationship that was serious enough to produce a child made me slightly wary, just to the point that I wanted to chat with him online longer than I normally would before agreeing to give out my number. So he remembers that I said I was uncomfortable giving out my number and asks if he could friend me on Facebook because he uses their messenger to chat and it’s more convenient than chatting on OkCupid. I thought that was a reasonable request because it was more convenient for me too. So I give him my name to add me and accept his friend request.

    I immediately get a text message from a number I don’t know that says, “If you don’t want people to have your phone number, you shouldn’t let them add you to Facebook when you have your number linked to your account.” Though what he said was entirely true, it creeped me right the fuck out. I didn’t know my number was visible to Facebook friends. Facebook had recently popped up a message on my account asking to provide a phone number so that I had another way of confirming my account besides email, so I entered my number having no idea those assholes would make it visible on my profile.

    So I didn’t reply to the text, but instead sent him a message on Facebook telling him that whether my number was available or not, I had made it clear I didn’t want to text him, so he was violating my wishes and it really turned me off. He tried to argue with me that his message wasn’t creepy. I told him not to contact me again and that I would be blocking him. So I blocked him on Facebook and OKCupid after changing privacy settings on Facebook to make sure no one else could get my number that way.

    Of course, he immediately proves that he’s not super creepy by continuing to text me. I didn’t block him on my phone because I wanted to see his messages in case they got stalker-y and I had to take some kind of action. He tells me he was just looking out for my safety by alerting me that anyone I friended could get my number. Then it got clingy and desperate with him telling me how he had such deep feelings for me from the start and knew we’d be perfect together if I just gave him a chance. Then it was a shitty attempt at a manipulative guilt trip about how he’s been so sad since he’s been single and doesn’t get to see his son every day, but I was a bright spot in his life making him realize there was hope for him. And of course it wasn’t just a couple messages saying this, it was like 50 messages in one day all saying the same type of shit. We only talked for 3 fucking days. I finally sent him a text saying something like, “I asked you not to contact me. You make me very uncomfortable and there is no chance of us ever meeting. Leave me alone.” And this is when he told me that he needed me in his life. He needed me in his son’s life. He knew I would make a great stepmom to his son. Couldn’t I see how much I was hurting him and his innocent infant son?

    Obviously this motherfucker was batshit crazy and I did the right thing by blocking him and telling him to fuck off. I sent one last message telling him if he continued to contact me, I would make a police report for harassment. So he sent one last message begging me not to involve the police because if he gets in trouble with the cops again, it’s really going to fuck up his custody case with his ex since she already has a restraining order against him. And that was the end of that.

    But I’d like to include a post-script that online dating isn’t all bad. I met my wonderful boyfriend of 6 years on OKCupid. We live together with our two cats and he isn’t a total nutjob.

  23. katandkuma March 14, 2018 / 2:00 pm

    Met up with a guy who when we were ordering ordered meat. No big deal, he remembered I’m vegetarian though and decided to test how much I loved animals by relaying a “hilarious” story about how he brutally killed a possum in his backyard to me. I kept telling him to stop and ended up yelling at him through tears, it was so brutal a story. And then he stopped, looked at me in amazement and said ‘oh wow, so I guess you really do like animals huh’. So yeah. Hearing possum torture stories isn’t foreplay to me.

  24. Greenbuffaloaf March 14, 2018 / 2:00 pm

    Matched with a guy. I go to his place, telling myself whatever happens happens. We hit it off instantly. We hung out more and more over the next few months as fwb, i get more and more attached. We end up becoming incredibly close friends, still not dating, just hooking up. We go on vacation together and I spill my feelings to him there. I find out that he’s been seeing girls on the side the entire time. We get back and it hasn’t been the same since. We don’t really talk anymore. 0/10 wouldn’t recommend catching feels on tinder

  25. tedcruziszodiac March 14, 2018 / 2:00 pm

    There was a few red flags, I was young and ignored them. One huge red flag was he was supposedly a 24 year old man with no phone?? Anyway. Talked to me about how sad his life was and how everyone was against him. I thought fine, I’ll finish what I am eating and leave. Halfway through I went to the bathroom and came back.

    I don’t drink so I soon knew something was very wrong after finishing my Pepsi. I sort of remember walking toward my house with him and he INSISTED I go in this alley with him to look at the “art” at 1:30am. I just kept walking and he got irate. I don’t remember going home but my roommate immediately took me to the ER.

    Thank God I don’t drink because the ER doctor told me he was pretty sure I was dosed with GHB.

  26. spookylibrarian March 14, 2018 / 2:00 pm

    Matched with a dude when I was home this past Christmas, about six hours from where I’m living. This was like two days before I was due to leave town, so we never actually met up. But he seemed normal enough and we were into the same things, and I go home relatively often so we kept talking even when I left.

    The weeks went on and I noticed him getting clingier and clingier (I like attention but this was too much), especially for someone I’d never met. The weekend before Valentine’s I told him to please chill the fuck out and *hoped* he’d get the hint that I wasn’t interested, and it seemed like he had! The slow fade was working!

    …yeah, no. On Valentine’s Day I got a call from a local florist’s shop trying to deliver flowers to my office. I thought it was my mom so I thought nothing of it. The flowers showed up, a pretty arrangement, and on the card was some dumb ~inside joke~ buddy thought we’d had. *He’d found me on my office website and had them sent there.*

    Told him he was fucking creepy, blocked him, kept the flowers because someone worked hard putting that shit together. I don’t have Tinder now.

  27. [deleted] March 14, 2018 / 2:00 pm

    Meeting up with a guy who looked way better than their pics and about 20Ibs lighter. Nothing wrong with bigger guys just inaccurate pics seemed decieving for no reason. Had a good vibe and good conversation before/during the meetup. The horror was when he literally started dripping sweat all over me during sex. Took THE longest shower after that. When I say dripping I mean I really needed a towel to wipe myself off after we were done. Didn’t have one though.

  28. optiongeek March 14, 2018 / 2:00 pm

    ITT: So glad I’m happily married and don’t have to deal with this Tinder bullcrap.

  29. voldiemort March 14, 2018 / 2:00 pm

    Once I went on a tinder date to a steakhouse and he asked me to put the silverware in my purse because he wanted it for his apartment.

  30. WhiteRaven1216 March 14, 2018 / 2:00 pm

    Matched with a guy and went on the date to the movies to see split, in front of us a girl was trying to convince the guy she was with to go see a romcom. When we get the counter he turns to me and says “if you try make me see that fucking rom com Ill punch you in the throat”
    The guy serving us turned white served us and then made up that he knew me, asked me how my family was, I kinda kept it going not really sure what the fuck I should do. The guy I was on the date with got bored and said he would meet me in there. The guy serving said to me that if I didnt feel comfortable going in then he would call security if the jackass came looking.
    After explaining that he had picked me up from my house he gave me his number and said “I swear I am not hitting on you, but please message me and tell me you get home okay, if shit goes down Ill fucking take you myself.”
    Nicest guy ever! Met his fiance later on when I met them for coffee. Such lovely people!
    Nothing happened with the jackass. I told him that I didnt think it was gunna go anywhere and got told “thats fine, dont need your fat ass anyway”.

  31. cpt_andu March 14, 2018 / 2:00 pm

    Like half of these comments are stolen from the thread from two years ago.

  32. constantexhaustion March 14, 2018 / 2:00 pm

    I’m chatting to some guy on tinder for a week or so, he seems alright and has 2 real cute cats so when he asks to meet up I’m down. I’m gonna call him Dylan because i wouldn’t put a school shooting past him and he kinda looked like one of the columbine shooters.

    The day before we were supposed to meet up, Dylan decides he wants me to meet him somewhere an extra hour train away from our original meeting point, but about 20 minutes from his house. I’m just flattered someone thought I was pretty, so despite the nearly 2 hour journey I go.
    I walk out of the station and see him. Dylan looks really different to his photos, but it’s definitely him. He’s really thin, wearing baggy jeans, puffy DC skate shoes (in 2014??) and a kinda ratty tshirt. We do the awkward hug hello and I notice he has what looks like a smudge of salt near his mouth, and his teeth are absolutely caked in plaque and distinctly yellow, with some spots verging on brown. I already know I’m not planning on seeing him again so I stuck it out.

    Something we spoke briefly about before meeting was the fact that I’m vegan. He takes me to a dessert chain where the only option available for me is coffee. I pay for my own drink because I don’t want the obligation of giving him something in return and he gets annoyed that I don’t let him buy me a cake or something, and says “you’re not one of those dumb girls who don’t eat” and I laugh politely and say “no they’ve got egg or dairy in the food here”
    Apparently he didn’t like this because he got grumbly and annoyed, but suggested we go somewhere else once he finished his milkshake. I reluctantly agree and he takes me on a bus, where he tells me about his adventures with cocaine use and proceeds to ask if I do drugs. He then says drugs are dirty, disgusting and such a turn off. I point out his hypocrisy and he says “but I’m a guy, its gross when a chick does it” alright.

    We get off the bus and he tells me more about his friends, and how he had fully fledged plans with his best friend and said friends older meth-dealing brother to rob a bank, and that they had mapped the place out with security points, cameras, guard swap times, and had gotten some serious guns. (In Australia)
    I’m scared and let him talk because I don’t want to provoke this guy. We get to the restaurant, and it’s a fucking charcoal chicken shop. I wasn’t expecting Gordon Ramsey to be preparing entrees, but I did expect to be taken somewhere I could eat this time. We sit down to order, and the waitress calls him by name, and says “finally replaced Alecia?” With a laugh. He says “Alecia is my bitch ex, the lying slut went to the cops saying I beat her, can you believe that?” I offer forced sympathy and excuse myself to the bathroom, and get one of my friends to call, pretending to be my mum so I can get the fuck out.
    He lets me go (not after being annoyed by the fact that I didn’t order food) and I block his number and delete tinder.
    EDIT: the waitress knew him because he fucking WORKS THERE

    About 6 months later, I receive a Facebook message from someone I wasn’t friends with, confused, I open it to see a picture of Dylan with his skinny boy abs out in a mirror selfie captioned “this is what you’re missing out on”
    And proceeded to call me a junkie slut and said I was “too ugly to be that much of a bitch”

    Nearly 4 years on I still laugh about the charcoal chicken boy with my friends.

  33. guywithausername_ March 14, 2018 / 2:00 pm

    Match with a girl. Have a great conversation. I don’t ask her out because I’m a pussy. She gets bored and stops talking.

    Repeat endlessly.

  34. teXne March 14, 2018 / 2:00 pm

    I once went on a date with someone who pronounced GIF as GIF.

  35. Whapwhaaap March 14, 2018 / 2:00 pm

    I’ve told it before, but here you go.

    We met on tinder, hadn’t talked for too long but I thought, what the hell I need to get out more blah blah. The first thing he said was “Oh wow, you’re so pretty!” and tried to kiss me on the mouth. I sort of dodged and gave him a cheek and ignored it to avoid him getting embarrassed. He was not embarrassed.

    Two drinks in, we’re talking a bit awkwardly, and he’s clearly buying me double G&Ts instead of the singles I’m asking for (I was a bartender at the time, I can taste the difference). When i’m mid sentence, he garbs my face and says “Sorry I just need to get this out of the way” and forcefully sticks his tongue down my throat. I didn’t really know what to do because I didn’t want to cause a scene and he’s about a foot taller than me.

    I said I needed to look up the time for the last train, he said “no it’s fine you can stay at mine!” I said thanks, but I’ll look up the last train. He begs, saying he’ll sleep on the couch, he just wants to get to know me better. Still said no. He huffs, very briefly, and then cheers up and tells me he’ll look up the train time for me “like a gentleman”.

    He says it’s at 1am. I said that’s late, is he sure? He gets all tense and says “What? Don’t you believe me!?” so I smiled and said of course not and then a few minutes later I excused myself to the toilet and checked the times on my phone, which said the last train was actually at 12.15am. Lovely.

    I went back to my seat, he asked if I wanted to wait at his flat for the last train (!?) and I said no, I’m getting an uber now, bye. He tried to beg me to stay, loudly and embarrassingly, so others could hear (hopefully I’d get so embarrassed I’d go home with him I guess?) and even pretended it was his birthday and yelled to the bar that he was protecting me by taking me home because “taxi drivers can be rapists”.

    I told him quietly to fuck off and that I was going home, and he loudly asked for a hug and tried to grab my boobs.

    The guy was an absolute fucking creep, and I never went on a tinder or bumble date ever again. I’m not single now, but if I ever was again I don’t think I’d ever go out with someone I met online. I’m sure most people are nice but that guy ruined it for me 100%.

  36. QuagStack March 14, 2018 / 2:00 pm

    Oh I’ve been waiting to share this!

    Was on tinder, got matched with a girl. Her pics were gorgeous, I could tell she was a little on the thick side but that’s just fine because I love that.

    We decide to grab some dinner, and I ask her where she wants to meet, and she says “I’m sorry, I don’t have a car. It’ll have to be around where I live and you’d have to pick me up”

    Sure, no problem.

    I drive over to her, and I realize that I am in the WORST part of Tampa, Florida. Like crack babies selling crack for diapers bad. I get hesitant but decide I should just meet the girl, maybe this area was all she could afford to live in.

    I pull up to her house, and she steps out, and I’m floored. She did NOT look like her pictures at all. Now let me be clear, I like thick girls. I don’t mind a little chub. I also don’t mind tall girls. However, I shit you not this girl was like Shaq size. Not joking.

    I drive a fucking Prius. I’m worried she won’t fucking fit in my car.

    She comes to the car door and I she says hello, and it dawned on me I should have never agreed to come over without talking on the phone with her first. This was the first time I heard her voice. The only way I can describe it, is to have you imagine a chain smoking, obese, trailer trash woman who looks forward to her WWE pay per views. What ever that person sounds like, is what she sounded like.

    I don’t want to be here any more, I feel lied to. But I decide to be nice and ask what she is hungry for. She says it’s gotta be cheap because she can’t pay much for her self, so Wendy’s would be preferable. Alright fine I want this to be quick anyway.

    We go to Wendy’s and start talking and she lets me know that she sells drugs and that if I ever need weed, let her know and she will hook me up. No thanks, sweet heart.

    Eventually we make it back to the house and she gets out my car and invites me inside. Again, I get spineless and decide “sure, just for a bit though”

    We get up to the front door, and she stops and turns around and tells me “Quagstack I have to warn you, I have a very disabled 8 year old nephew who lives with me. Like he is bed bound, has to have care 24/7 and we have a full time nurse (she lives with her sister). No one is home now though”

    We walk in and she was wrong, the nephew was there, on a hospital bed in the living room, practically brain dead. Like no motion and just heavy breathing.

    Now we were only gone like 20 minutes, so I didn’t realize that she just left her nephew to go devour 3 baconators. I was shook by the fact I was with what seemed to be the trashiest person alive and her disabled nephew.

    She grabs my hand and runs me to the back of the house through the kitchen, where there sat two hand guns on the counter. She saw me looking at them and said “Don’t touch those, please”.

    We go through the kitchen to a second living room where there are two men just crushing pills into a powder and pouring into a bag. She told me not to worry about them as she dragged me to her room.

    Reminder, this shaq sized trailer trash drug dealing girl is twice my size. I could not just pull my hand away.

    We get to her bed room and there is nothing but a dresser and a sheet less pillow less mattress on the floor.

    She pushes me on the bed and tries to make out with me.

    I was accidentally saved by my pissed off best friend at this point. He calls me to complain that my cat got sick and was shitting everywhere and I needed to come home and clean it.

    Shaq felt bad and I told her I’m sorry, I’ll hit her up when I get home. It was my saving grace. I’m so glad my cat got into a bag of Checkers French fries the night before. It ended up saving me from a death by unwanted sex.

    TLDR: matched with a girl that didn’t look like her pictures, she made me watch her kill three large burgers, try to sell me drugs, and then took me to her trap house where i almost died

  37. tootboob March 14, 2018 / 2:00 pm

    Went on a date, then it turned out to be a friends date. Didn’t talk to the girl that much, but talked about drones to her guy friend. Sadly she was hotter than I expected.

  38. ExtraBonnesPoints March 14, 2018 / 2:00 pm

    I talked to a dude for over a month. Neither of us were really sure what we wanted, and both admitted we just wanted someone to talk to at the start. It was mostly friendly, but fun.

    After about a month we were supposed to meet and hang out for New Years, because neither of us had anything to do. I got invited to a party like the day before, and had to cancel on him.

    Two weeks later I worked up the courage to ask him on a legit date for the next day. He seemed super excited and nervous when he said yes, and I was fucking AMPED. The next day rolls around, I turn down everyone else, I do my makeup all nice, and I message him asking if there was anything in particular he wanted to do.

    Hours pass. Nothing.

    I double message, asking again.

    Couple more hours go by.

    I message him one last time saying “hey if you don’t wanna do this that’s fine, just let me know because I really wanna get into my pajamas.” Cause at this point it was almost 8pm.

    No response. I deleted the app.

    A week or so later I re-downloaded, and had a message from him, couple days old. Said he got nervous and DELETED THE APP. I just responded with “Seriously?” He unmatched me almost right away.

    I also once matched and went on a couple dates with my closest friend’s rapist, and one time I matched with a dude, we ended up being friends for a while, and then he drunkenly called me the f-word.

  39. officialfoxgrrl March 14, 2018 / 2:00 pm

    I’ve told this before but Okay guys this is a long one but h o l y shit So I match the hottest guy ive ever seen on tinder. We hit it off really well. I immediately think he’s a catfish. But I go on a date anyways. He’s real. He’s fun, we get along great. We end up sitting and talking over coffee for about four hours. I’m already ecstatic that I had met someone so great. Day two rolls around. We decide to get together again. We pick up ice creams. He supplies the spoons (this is important later) and we talk again for hours. My friend drunkenly calls me and asks me to get her food, so we do. We go to her house and he gets really weird. He starts talking as if we had been married for years even though it’s the second time we’ve ever met. My friend is even weirded out by it but we both agree he’s probably nervous and play it off. Day three.We don’t talk much. I take a shower and he gets really defensive because I’m not texting him for a long period of time. Saying things like “answer me woman, where are you, why are you ignoring me, etc” I’m really taken back by that. Tell him to not act that way. Ignore him for the night. Day four. We get together again. Things have calmed down. He tells me his horror story of a childhood. I feel bad for him. I see a hospital band on the table. He tells me he was admitted for panic attacks. I feel bad for him. Things heat up and we end up sleeping together. I leave afterwords.Day five.
    No speaking.He finally messages me a text clearly meant for another girl. I don’t care much. He claims it was for his best friend. I still don’t care. Day six.
    We talk a lot during the day. It’s fine. He asks me to go see a movie. I want to. He then informs me he doesn’t drive. No big deal, I do. I work late nights and would have to rush to the movie. We’d probably be late because I want to change. I also have no money because I’m moving. He then says “$20 is enough for both our tickets and a snack.” What the fuck?
    So I say “do you always ask girls on dates and then make them pay?” Wrong thing to ask
    He gets extremely upset. Claiming women always do this to men and that I should stop complaining. He then tells me WHAT TO WEAR AND WHEN TO PICK HIM UP. I obviously decline. He’s upset again. I then tell him I don’t want to see him again. He’s not what I’m looking for and that I “hope” him the best.
    He responds “sounds good to me. It’s wish you the best btw. “I block him.
    I go to my friends that night and laugh. I have a Facebook message request. Guess who?
    “Uhm….. you still have my spoons.””Oh! I’m at Catie’s and they are here if you want them”
    “Why are you such a bitch? Holy shit!””Are you getting the spoons or not?””No”I block him again. We find his tinder again today.
    He’s updated it. the bio is literally him attacking my looks. He “hates girls who wear makeup” now apparently, he also isn’t into hook ups apparently either.

    Safe to say I dodged a bullet there.

    Tl;Dr match a guy, hook up, he freaks out at me for not driving him places and not paying for a date, blocks him, he still finds way to contact me, updates his tinder bio and it’s a direct attack at me

  40. kaipbaisu March 14, 2018 / 2:00 pm

    A friend of mine told me this. She had just broken up with her long time boyfriend and wanted to have some fun so she went on a date with a dude from tinder. Initially they were supposed to meet at a coffee shop but at the last minute he told her to come to his flat because he had lost his keys. So she goes, they drink some wine and watch a movie, start making out. As she’s kissing him, she feels like something is weird so she opens her eyes and sees him holding his phone close to their faces and recording everything. She stops, confronts him. Dude says he just “wanted to remember this moment” but she gets angry and he deletes it. After a while he goes to the bathroom and she decides to go through his phone and check if he really deleted it. He hasn’t. Along with a bunch of pictures and videos of him kissing and having sex with several other girls, most obviously taken secretly. She freaks out, deletes everything, immediately goes for the door only to find it locked (fucker said he lost his keys). She hears him finishing up in the bathroom so she sprints to the kitchen with their wine glasses and fills and knocks one over. Goes “Ooh im so clumsy can you clean this? I have to try and get the stain out of my dress immediately” and leaves him to it. She starts snooping for the keys and finally finds them in the pocket of the jacket hanging in the hallway and books it out of there. That was the first and last tinder date she ever went on

  41. dbpnz March 14, 2018 / 2:00 pm

    Oh man. Met up with her, had a few laughs. Then she moved in. I bought her a ring. Flew ourselves and a bunch of friends, family to Hawaii and got married. Had a cute little son. Now we hang out all the time and do family stuff.
    Actually, not too bad.

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