49 thoughts on “What’s the most boring superhero you can come up with?

  1. MrNoMoniker March 14, 2018 / 4:56 pm

    When I was a little kid I had made up and drawn some scenes of ‘Lava Man’ that were always him trying to trick bad guys into throwing him into a volcano. Due to his lava powers he would be able to escape. Not a lot of plot options there.

  2. Lontology March 14, 2018 / 4:56 pm

    Armchair Detective Dan: He watches Law & Order episodes and can tell you who the perp is in 10 minutes or less.

  3. oPtiMuSpRiMe2005 March 14, 2018 / 4:56 pm

    The Warmer. He has the ability to make things warm. Not hot though. So he’s not good for like making soup hot or melting ice, but if you’re having a party and need a small or moderate amount of butter softenend…THE WARMER TO THE RESCUE!

  4. MediocraticOath March 14, 2018 / 4:56 pm

    Abnormally long arms man.

    He has the power to reach things from slightly far away and has the added bonus of not fitting into any long armed garment.

  5. CTRL_ALT_DELTRON3030 March 14, 2018 / 4:56 pm

    Detail oriented man, swoops in over your shoulder while you type an email and points out a spelling error. He was bitten by a radioactive Microsoft clippy.

  6. cannedtunainbrine March 14, 2018 / 4:56 pm

    Man-man. Bitten by a radioactive man, he now has all the powers of a single man!

  7. huazzy March 14, 2018 / 4:56 pm

    Captain Accounting – No company or individual is immune to his audits.

  8. thehonestyfish March 14, 2018 / 4:56 pm

    Man-With-Glasses! By the power of societal norms, villains won’t hit him.

  9. Darpleon March 14, 2018 / 4:56 pm

    Not-Hungry Man!
    He can last significantly longer without food than an average human

  10. AsocialReptar March 14, 2018 / 4:56 pm

    Already-Done-it Man.

    As the name suggests, he has already done it. World need saving? Been there. Done that.

    End credits.

  11. The_prophet212 March 14, 2018 / 4:56 pm

    Capt Cock-Block

    You are just about to ‘seal the deal’ at the bar and take a girl home. Boom Captain CB appears to talk about his ex-girlfriend

  12. Blindsp_t March 14, 2018 / 4:56 pm

    “Please help me Premature Ejaculation Man! I’m being robbed!”

    “Don’t worry, I’m comming!”

  13. Colehorowitz12 March 14, 2018 / 4:56 pm

    Captain Mundane

    The man with the power to do normal everyday tasks with relative ease

  14. SCP-1 March 14, 2018 / 4:56 pm

    “Give-Up-Before-Fighting Man”, with the not so incredible power of running away from any and all forms of conflict.

    The most tragic thing about Give-Up-Before-Fighting Man is that he’s potentially the most OP superhero of all. In fact, he’s such an overpowered Superhero that the only true enemy he has is himself.

    I know you’re out there somewhere, Give-Up-Before-Fighting Man. I hope you figure yourself out soon and start to realize your own potential. The world needs you.

  15. wakka-wakka-wakka March 14, 2018 / 4:56 pm

    Basement man. He lives in his basement with the awesome power of having his geriatric parents do everything for him.

  16. june606 March 14, 2018 / 4:56 pm

    Super Dad. Essentially he’s just your Dad who worked hard and put you through college. But when you graduate you’re not saddled with student loans for the rest of your life. Mom probably was his Lois Lane is that her job provided enough income to ensure he could put aside this money for you without going into debt.

    Not a particularly impressive superhero in the grand scheme of things as they only sought to ‘save’ one person ever, but given the insidious nature of student loan debt, this person may have avoided you having to battle with one of reality’s biggest enemy of all time, bearing in mind you are maybe level 7 and he is level billion.

  17. watch7maker March 14, 2018 / 4:56 pm

    My book has a superhero who has the power of “totality” which is essentially reality bending. Whatever he thinks happens and he can go as far as creating life or magical objects. But! He’s part of a group of 7 heroes, each embedded with a deadly sin and they each have an overwhelming emotion that they can’t help but feel at all times. His sin is Sloth and his emotion is apathy. So he’s either too lazy to use his powers or refuses to ever help. He’s also very monotone and disappears for most of the book cause he isn’t helping and the others are just annoyed by him.

  18. drewisawesome14 March 14, 2018 / 4:56 pm

    South Park did a pretty good job with captain hindsight

  19. PenguinBananaquat March 14, 2018 / 4:56 pm

    Awkward Man with the amazing ability to turn any normal situation into something mildly uncomfortable.

    Of course he’s not seen without his trusty side kick, Social Anxiety Boy!

  20. Lenethren March 14, 2018 / 4:56 pm

    Anti-Insomniac…he bores you to sleep. The hero we all need at some time or another!

  21. Trissan March 14, 2018 / 4:56 pm

    The banana peeler hero.
    He peels your banana so you don’t have to.

  22. FinalFuntasy March 14, 2018 / 4:56 pm

    Jack. Quite simply a Jack of all trades. Can do anything moderately well. His nemesis, Joe, is an average Joe and can do anything averagely.

  23. JHutchLad March 14, 2018 / 4:56 pm

    “I’ll save you! Tree powers activate”

  24. omihek2 March 14, 2018 / 4:56 pm

    When I was younger I made a comic about a superhero called “Fatso.” He was a regular skinny kid unless trouble was brewing, then he would transform into Fatso and bounce downtown to deal with whatever villain was trying to cause a ruckus that day. His main arch-nemesis was called “Skinnyso.” Fatso would capture Skinnyso by bouncing on top of him and sitting there till the police arrived. Skinnyso would always escape and get back into trouble because he was skinny enough to slip through the normal-sized prison bars.

  25. VictorBlimpmuscle March 14, 2018 / 4:56 pm

    The MicroManager – he’s a little man with a big eye for every little procedure and policy.

  26. WhatWouldBenLinusDo March 14, 2018 / 4:56 pm

    Mr. Above Average.

    Gets Bs in school!

    Only the occasional traffic violation!

    Is on Tinder, matches sometimes!

    He’s Mr. Above Average! You could live with him saving your life.

  27. willywag March 14, 2018 / 4:56 pm


    He’s just, like, a guy.

  28. Saguine March 14, 2018 / 4:56 pm

    Police Man!

    Imbued with the legal authority of being able to arrest and detain alleged criminals with probable cause, Police Man dons his blue costume daily and heads out into the dangerous city in his Police Vehicle.

  29. Chaldera March 14, 2018 / 4:56 pm

    Partner came up with “Slugman”. He has the power of ten slugs

  30. ooo-ooo-oooyea March 14, 2018 / 4:56 pm

    Human Ted Cruz – he defeats evil by long filibusters

  31. DukeInterior March 14, 2018 / 4:56 pm

    John Smith Man.

    Has the power of super-unremarkableness.

    He is so impossibly ordinary, so completely without any interesting or defining characteristics, that he is never noticed by anyone or anything and as a result is a master thief.

  32. Zeruvi March 14, 2018 / 4:56 pm

    Oh woah the seemingly infinite power to overcome literally anything unless he’s stupid and doesn’t pay attention, what a compelling character.

    bitter /s, what a garbage hero

  33. donfelicedon2 March 14, 2018 / 4:56 pm

    IRS worker

    Boring as hell, but still a hero since they help keep the government running

  34. LovTB March 14, 2018 / 4:56 pm

    Just… Whatever-Man.

  35. jHannibal March 14, 2018 / 4:56 pm

    Stupid fucking mistakes man.

  36. reincarN8ed March 14, 2018 / 4:56 pm

    John Doe was just an average every-day citizen, until one fateful day when he was bit by a radioactive man! Now he is Man-Man, the hero with the power of two men!

  37. paul_maybe March 14, 2018 / 4:56 pm

    Decaf Soy Milk Latte Girl: she does everything with minimal excitement.

  38. JonnyMansport March 14, 2018 / 4:56 pm

    The Tough-lidder. Able to open tough lids on jars.

  39. yetanothercmdr March 14, 2018 / 4:56 pm

    If you ask him a question he will give you a at least 1 hour-presentation with the help of many and very dull Excel sheets.

    His sidekick would be Slide-Show-Boy. After the 1 hour presentation he will finish you (if you are still awake) with a nice slide show of pictures from holydays of the last 13 years.

  40. 5hellback March 14, 2018 / 4:56 pm

    9 to 5 man. Solves the worlds problems by working in a bank 8 hours a day.

  41. _handsam_ March 14, 2018 / 4:56 pm

    Animal Man

    Is able to communicate with animals but can’t understand them

  42. TalkToTheGirl March 14, 2018 / 4:56 pm


    The man with not one, but *two* eyes!

    Usually seen in the company of Normalfoot, The Credible Hulk, and Edward Fingerhands.

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